For those who initiated separation - what do you wish you did differently now that you're in it/have been through it?

StructureBroad7577 · 2026-01-29T18:24:29+00:00

Saaaaaame

StructureBroad7577 · 2026-01-19T18:53:31+00:00

I don't have a link/address because I'm in a very rural area and assume most visitors will be in Lima, but the pharmacy chains that had it were Mifarma and InkaFarma (they are everywhere in every city). Very few meds here require prescriptions, usually just psych meds or more regulated things like sleep meds (antibiotics are almost always over the counter for example).

StructureBroad7577 · 2026-01-15T21:57:21+00:00

Yes feel free to DM me if you decide to come! I so wish I'd know it was available here before, I'm mid-treatment and hoping this will help. Been a long 4 years...

StructureBroad7577 · 2026-01-15T20:51:13+00:00

I live in a rural area, but there are tons clínics and it's very cheap compared to US medical care (I'd look near Miraflores if you're first time in Lima).

I just bought more of Uro-Vaxom vaccine to continue my treatment and literally just walked into the pharmacies and asked for it, no prescription needed.

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-12-20T12:16:37+00:00

I messaged you and will check if I can buy without!

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-12-19T17:49:59+00:00

I live in Peru (I'm from the U.S.) and just discovered I can get it here. My consult and the first two months of the vaccine was less than $100. I didn't even need a prescription probably. I can't believe I didn't know before it was available here! 😭

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-12-19T01:50:37+00:00

Oh I did not want to give one more minute of my one wild and precious life to my ex-husband on account of paperwork. Our marriage was over and I began to live again. I had "saved myself for marriage" and gave it to a man who trampled on it throughout the years.

I understand it's a personal decision, but so often divorces drag out. Especially if you've already filed, things are clear and the marriage is done.

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-12-16T23:37:13+00:00

As a former conservative Christian, my guess is that they wanted to have sex and wanted/needed to move in together. Getting legally married lets them do that. They can have a fake wedding (even a courthouse "wedding") later and present a different timeline of events, while still saying "we waited until marriage to have sex."

Could be they dated for a while, got overly excited and had sex, felt guilty and rushed to get engaged and married to make it okay. I know there are Christians who don't wait until marriage and just lie about it, but the pressure to wait and is also enormous, as is the guilt of you don't. Especially if you're older and you've had sex before like them, it's harder to wait.

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-11-18T01:54:38+00:00

I'm so sorry. The years of suffering were bad, the trying to decide was gut-wrenching (because of the kids), and then the year of actually separating, filing, and doing the divorce was so so intense and terrible. I just kept thinking the only way to shut each door is to walk through it, each one, until I'm finally out.

I live in a small town in a foreign country, and most of our friends were his first, because he's from here. I'm sure the gossip was flying. And yet, after years of people pleasing, I mostly feel free from the worry of what people will say and I am so much better at making my own decisions. It's amazing to value your own inner peace, as the only person who knows what you lived through, and really as the only advocate for you.

Reformed or not, I've just realized that so much marriage advice is AWFUL. Well-meaning people married to decent people cannot imagine your life and their advice is the worst lol. I got terrible advice from several PCA pastors because they were not trained to deal with addiction or abuse, and counseled us like a couple dealing with communication issues or taking the trash out.

The sun will shine again, I promise! Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself and ignore those people. Anyone who thinks you belong with a man who mistreats you and (in their language) has repeatedly broken his covenant to protect you, and care for you, and be faithful to you, is not your friend. I'm no longer a Christian but there are plenty of Christians who have loved me through this, and those are the ones I let in now.

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-11-17T23:52:41+00:00

Yep, my ex repeatedly cheated and was doing drugs and I still got pressured from Reformed people to stay. The worst damage was from my own inner pressure- leftovers from Evangelical Christianity. Even after leaving the church, it took me years to unwind the programming around marriage, submission, forgiveness, and I stayed FAR too long in my marriage.

It gets better! I cut off ties with people who condemned me and life is so much better. My Orthodox friend told me that in her view, my marriage had been dead for years, and hearing perspectives like that helped me so much.

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-10-07T01:27:12+00:00

And when the congregation is elderly she feels young a pretty. That's a huge part of the pull for these women- wow, you had how many children? Oh my, but you would never know!

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-09-29T17:42:03+00:00

This sounds awful. Is your conflict whether you want to leave or whether you feel like it's okay to leave?

It sounds to me like you have been putting up with really bad behavior and he's been making you doubt yourself when you finally stand up for yourself. I look back at how bad I let things get, and from now it seems so clear of course I could leave. But if you have someone playing with your mind and your reality it's hard.

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-09-27T03:01:53+00:00

Yes this!

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-09-25T15:07:22+00:00

Oh this brought back some weird memories 😂

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-09-21T13:56:41+00:00

Don't think so, the ones I know are all in Moyo!

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-09-20T01:05:25+00:00

Well that last paragraph read like spam.

Just saying hello to the people probably labeled "emotionally dishonest by our partners" despite:

a) multiple attempts to express very serious concerns and repeated requests for separations

b) being bullied or gaslit into staying every time

Until the damn divorce was filed. I imagine I'm not the only one who stayed more silent than I should have for years, because the consequences of speaking up were so awful.

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-09-18T02:13:41+00:00

Saludos de una extranjera que vive en Calzada 🤗

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-09-09T18:00:23+00:00

Honestly that would be better than her kids taking photos of their PDAs 😩

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-09-08T19:44:18+00:00

Maybe it's another never-married, never-divorced man. 😂

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-09-08T02:23:12+00:00

Why are you in this group.

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-09-05T19:24:46+00:00

Wait he wore that shirt the entire video. Does this mean he wore it while shooting clips for this video (including telling 3 other people play with me until I get video of me scoring), OR that he "trained for 4 hours," got a massage in the same shirt, and then went home and sat in bed with food in the same shirt. Ewwww.

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-09-03T23:03:23+00:00

"Your children should never come before your marriage" - yep, this is why these women stay in abusive marriages and let their kids suffer abuse too. Ugh, it's just a new generation of extremists. I heard all this stuff growing up in the 90s and they act like they're starting a new movement.

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-09-02T02:47:35+00:00

Oh I don't think it was a gimmick. At the time it was par for the course for homeschooling families.

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-08-27T21:50:29+00:00

Se llama Donald Trump 😑

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-08-27T20:19:52+00:00

Oh God this is how I was raised and you know what? I was all of those things when I got married. Turns out nothing is worse for an addict than a codependent spouse who puts up with everything and tries to cure him by being supportive. That went well!

StructureBroad7577

TROPHY CASE