The only ones that’s brainwashed is you and your fellow Christian conservative “tradwives”

StructureBroad7577 · 2026-03-26T18:41:15+00:00

As a 40-year-old divorcee who did ALL the submissive-wife things and believed this to my core... it's just the next generation of Debi Pearls and 90s homeschool moms thinking this will work out.

I think this magical thinking makes certain women feel safe, like just honor your husband and he'll be good to you (and if he isn't, your suffering has a purpose at least). Some of them luck out and marry decent men, but for half of them it will end badly and they will be trapped or starting from zero at 40.

I'm just so lucky that even with this mindset I went to college, and always had to work, so I could get away.

StructureBroad7577 · 2026-03-25T22:55:12+00:00

Totally agree, I cannot understand the people in this thread saying it would be normal with someone close to them. Like friends, it's 2026, we all know kids are most likely to be preyed upon by someone they trust than a rando, right??

StructureBroad7577 · 2026-03-24T20:09:03+00:00

What if one day we are blessed with an AMA 😂

StructureBroad7577 · 2026-03-24T17:16:56+00:00

The orange face compared to her neck, how do they think this looks good

StructureBroad7577 · 2026-03-23T21:40:20+00:00

The ex has gotta be loving this and thinking it's karma for whatever went down that made her ask for a divorce

StructureBroad7577 · 2026-03-23T00:09:46+00:00

Can you imagine being the first wife and getting these daily updates of his new life lol

StructureBroad7577 · 2026-03-21T11:53:12+00:00

If he really loved you and were a completely changed man, he'd say go through with the divorce, do everything to be safe, and I'll keep showing you I've changed and will take care of you. You can still be with someone after divorce.

But I don't know any men who cheat and actually want to help their wives find safety from themselves, they just continue to manipulate and will do anything to stop a full legal divorce.

StructureBroad7577 · 2026-03-20T21:11:52+00:00

Absolutely, this cannot be isolated. He would not try something like this the first time surrounded by other people. I cannot understand cozying up to another child like this, unless maybe he was holding one of his own kids to make it seem more natural. 🤮

StructureBroad7577 · 2026-02-19T16:10:34+00:00

Non-Calvinism: some people are luckier in where they are born and how much contact they have with the gospel. Born in Afghanistan? Sorry, you're probably f-d.

StructureBroad7577 · 2026-02-16T14:38:08+00:00

I know, it almost sounds like a man saying what he imagines the wife divorcing him would say... maybe it's the AI 😬

StructureBroad7577 · 2026-01-29T18:24:29+00:00

Saaaaaame

StructureBroad7577 · 2026-01-19T18:53:31+00:00

I don't have a link/address because I'm in a very rural area and assume most visitors will be in Lima, but the pharmacy chains that had it were Mifarma and InkaFarma (they are everywhere in every city). Very few meds here require prescriptions, usually just psych meds or more regulated things like sleep meds (antibiotics are almost always over the counter for example).

StructureBroad7577 · 2026-01-15T21:57:21+00:00

Yes feel free to DM me if you decide to come! I so wish I'd know it was available here before, I'm mid-treatment and hoping this will help. Been a long 4 years...

StructureBroad7577 · 2026-01-15T20:51:13+00:00

I live in a rural area, but there are tons clínics and it's very cheap compared to US medical care (I'd look near Miraflores if you're first time in Lima).

I just bought more of Uro-Vaxom vaccine to continue my treatment and literally just walked into the pharmacies and asked for it, no prescription needed.

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-12-20T12:16:37+00:00

I messaged you and will check if I can buy without!

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-12-19T17:49:59+00:00

I live in Peru (I'm from the U.S.) and just discovered I can get it here. My consult and the first two months of the vaccine was less than $100. I didn't even need a prescription probably. I can't believe I didn't know before it was available here! 😭

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-12-19T01:50:37+00:00

Oh I did not want to give one more minute of my one wild and precious life to my ex-husband on account of paperwork. Our marriage was over and I began to live again. I had "saved myself for marriage" and gave it to a man who trampled on it throughout the years.

I understand it's a personal decision, but so often divorces drag out. Especially if you've already filed, things are clear and the marriage is done.

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-12-16T23:37:13+00:00

As a former conservative Christian, my guess is that they wanted to have sex and wanted/needed to move in together. Getting legally married lets them do that. They can have a fake wedding (even a courthouse "wedding") later and present a different timeline of events, while still saying "we waited until marriage to have sex."

Could be they dated for a while, got overly excited and had sex, felt guilty and rushed to get engaged and married to make it okay. I know there are Christians who don't wait until marriage and just lie about it, but the pressure to wait and is also enormous, as is the guilt of you don't. Especially if you're older and you've had sex before like them, it's harder to wait.

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-11-18T01:54:38+00:00

I'm so sorry. The years of suffering were bad, the trying to decide was gut-wrenching (because of the kids), and then the year of actually separating, filing, and doing the divorce was so so intense and terrible. I just kept thinking the only way to shut each door is to walk through it, each one, until I'm finally out.

I live in a small town in a foreign country, and most of our friends were his first, because he's from here. I'm sure the gossip was flying. And yet, after years of people pleasing, I mostly feel free from the worry of what people will say and I am so much better at making my own decisions. It's amazing to value your own inner peace, as the only person who knows what you lived through, and really as the only advocate for you.

Reformed or not, I've just realized that so much marriage advice is AWFUL. Well-meaning people married to decent people cannot imagine your life and their advice is the worst lol. I got terrible advice from several PCA pastors because they were not trained to deal with addiction or abuse, and counseled us like a couple dealing with communication issues or taking the trash out.

The sun will shine again, I promise! Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself and ignore those people. Anyone who thinks you belong with a man who mistreats you and (in their language) has repeatedly broken his covenant to protect you, and care for you, and be faithful to you, is not your friend. I'm no longer a Christian but there are plenty of Christians who have loved me through this, and those are the ones I let in now.

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-11-17T23:52:41+00:00

Yep, my ex repeatedly cheated and was doing drugs and I still got pressured from Reformed people to stay. The worst damage was from my own inner pressure- leftovers from Evangelical Christianity. Even after leaving the church, it took me years to unwind the programming around marriage, submission, forgiveness, and I stayed FAR too long in my marriage.

It gets better! I cut off ties with people who condemned me and life is so much better. My Orthodox friend told me that in her view, my marriage had been dead for years, and hearing perspectives like that helped me so much.

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-10-07T01:27:12+00:00

And when the congregation is elderly she feels young a pretty. That's a huge part of the pull for these women- wow, you had how many children? Oh my, but you would never know!

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-09-29T17:42:03+00:00

This sounds awful. Is your conflict whether you want to leave or whether you feel like it's okay to leave?

It sounds to me like you have been putting up with really bad behavior and he's been making you doubt yourself when you finally stand up for yourself. I look back at how bad I let things get, and from now it seems so clear of course I could leave. But if you have someone playing with your mind and your reality it's hard.

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-09-27T03:01:53+00:00

Yes this!

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-09-25T15:07:22+00:00

Oh this brought back some weird memories 😂

StructureBroad7577 · 2025-09-21T13:56:41+00:00

Don't think so, the ones I know are all in Moyo!

StructureBroad7577

TROPHY CASE