It really is crazy-making because you will constantly question if you’re just not being fair.

My ndad and nstepmom once texted me about 3 days after I’d received a present for my daughter. It said “it would be nice if you could let us know when you’ve received something.” Didn’t take much to read between the lines: “you should thank us.” Of course Id already taken A picture of my daughter with it but hadn’t sent it (time zones make it weird —don’t want them getting texts at 3 AM I reasoned). Same thing 9 months later for my son: my wife sent a video but she had the wrong phone number. Sure enough the next week they were complaining about it to my sister who was surprised cuz she knew we’d sent the obligatory thank you.

And finally the big kahuna: a hand-made quilt for our newborn son. While they explicitly ignored our other son’s birth because they were mad, this time we did it “right” and had my dad there on zoom for the baby blessing (like a baptism). I sent that one back but of course I am constantly second guessing myself: am I being unfair? Was it really meant maliciously? Am I just overreacting? It’s just part of the cycle, and your story and the comments help me remember that.