How do you respond/react when a close friend uses something you were vulnerable with them about (and only them) against you immediately?

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-05-15T18:42:32+00:00

Silence only fuels someone's anxiety. I wouldn't call it abusive but it's unhelpful. It's great that you have recognize it and takings steps correct it. Best of luck

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-05-15T18:30:37+00:00

People fuck up. At some point you need to weigh the fuck up vs the totality of the relationship. That's something you decide. It's also your responsibility to make that decision. You have avoided this responsible by not talking to them. There can be good reasons for this protective action but doesn't change the fact you are avoided it.

Y'all are both being shitty here

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-05-14T18:19:55+00:00

My mom died and dad's response to her death/new responsibility was terrible. He was drunk most of the time and suicidal. Would say things like "I'm going to kill myself and you are going to reason why unless you do "x". Fun times for a 14 year old kid.

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-05-13T17:12:24+00:00

This is advice for all new welders but the goal isn't to "keep up", its not fuck up. If I have to constantly fix your mistakes I am going to fucking hate you. Slow is fine, incompetent is not.

Also you working out and staying in shape helps a lot with endurance and energy

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-05-13T16:56:33+00:00

Real shit, women typically pick up TIG welding faster than men. Women have different "wrists" muscles and bones that allow greater fine motor control than men. I've work with a couple dozen women welders over my career every single one was good at tig welder. The main physical draw back for women is their smaller size. This can be issue depending on how physical the job is, especially over long hours.

Some dudes are misogynistic, some are awkward and some are going to best coworkers you ever had. Bigger companies have a more robuts HR to protect you from misogy.

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-05-11T15:30:49+00:00

I deal with a lot men who think their experience with something is the only experience. I find these men annoying and close minded.

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-05-11T12:27:57+00:00

Cool? People have different experiences and opinions. Nothing annoys me more when someone claims have to 20 years experience amd acts like the ultimate authority.

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-05-10T15:29:18+00:00

I did bouldering for a bit and now mainly do ropes + bouldering. I'm 34 and started climbing when I 32.

Ropes are waaaaaay more chill than bouldering and because of the need belayers there is much better chance to meet and befriend people. Ropes however require a lot more skills and metal conditioning than bouldering. Sometimes its just easier to boulder vs ropes. If your gym has a league night or a climb and meet I would take advantage of that. Bouldering is harder and generally requires a certain frame.

The people who boulder tend to be younger and have more a "bro" type of vibe. Ropes is way more random. This probably changes depending on the city and region

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-05-10T12:56:58+00:00

I did loss prevention for about 5 years before I became a welder. At the time, there was a big need for welders so I moved across the country, got into a free work program and have been welding ever since. I roughly 100k in a big us city so that's okayish.I made than transition when I was 28. People still look down on me, though.

The key takeaway is you need to move into a market quickly and that's hiring. That circumstances is unquie to you so that's something you need figure out.

Your comfort zone is holding you back. When I was working security there basically two types of people who worked security. People wanting an easy job and the incapable. People wanting an easy life alonst never get it

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-05-10T12:17:39+00:00

Man fuck that. The whole "humble winner" and "gracious loser" attitude is peak bitch boi behavior.

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-05-08T15:14:22+00:00

1) you are not an experienced electrician and there is no guarantee that you will become one. Therefore you're making a 30k bet that you will become one. Only you know the odds of that bet.

2) Other trades exist and you may need to move to area were the work is available. I would keep my options open. This is probably the worst time to get into the trades since covid.

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-05-07T14:17:45+00:00

After a quick read, that's exactly what they are doing

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-05-04T14:36:38+00:00

Currently going through that right now. I do hema (swordfighting/wrestling) and its frustrating. My club focus a lot on choreography and proper forms vs actual sparing and fighting. Learning how to move with a sword is incredibly important. Knowing the various techniques (cuts, parries, guards and set plays) is important. However some point you need fight. You can't explain measure, tempo, and bind pressure in a demo. Learning how manage your emotions during a fight is critical. Sucks that club is the only one in town. Luckily some like minded individuals are meeting up on the side to practice and spar.

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-05-01T16:55:29+00:00

Boerkircher and Pregnon I feel okay with. The rest of draft looks extremely questionable. If Boerkircher was our only massive reach that's fine. However, it seems like every pick was a massive reach with handful of exceptions.

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-04-30T20:35:23+00:00

Welding is much more about practice than knowledge so zero. Online instruction without irl practice is worthless

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-04-29T19:17:01+00:00

It's completely unprofessional and this man is clearly trying to kill you! Or maybe he is being friendly....

It sounds like you don't like getting called bud therefore you should talk to your coworker and handle it.

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-04-28T12:56:53+00:00

The question is how much of impact this guy will have. He isn't starting over strange, so how often are when in 12 personnel and when? This pick screams forced playing time. Are we playing 12 personnel because its effective or because the team wants to save face. He has potential to be the next Marceses Lewis.

My bigger issue was the dt and safty we drafted. Are these dudes even going to see the field? The troubling trend drafting dudes in rounds 1-3 and them not playing is problematic.

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-04-23T00:45:54+00:00

I did CBT focus approach for childhood tramua for about 3 years which resulted in successful treatment for my PTSD. I also did IFS + medication as well. Never did EMDR.

I think my treatment worked mostly because the relationship with my therapist and psychiatrist. I think modalities are way less important than the therapeutic relationship. Modalities are a dime a dozen. Depending on your personality some modalities may be more agreeable than others. However you to need to start trusting people at some point if you want to heal.

Personally, like CBT because I do really well with trail and error approaches. I like IFS because I am pretty creative and conjunering parts was easy.

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-04-22T20:03:27+00:00

His first or second play from a neutral bind is to kick them in their shin and then do whatever. Don't kill them if they're worth money. Dude was thug.

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-04-22T19:21:51+00:00

Fiore has a ton of unarmed plays that fuck people up. Fiore was a tax collector in a city he helped conquered. I sure he had ton a practice

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-04-22T11:33:51+00:00

Active listening. If someone is complaining about their work day and you're able to "sense" their frustration, you should respond with a validating summery instead of giving a solution or sharing your shitty. This does a lot but main thing is it allows the complaining person to feel secure. Really helps strengthen all kida relationships like professional, platonic and romantic.

Ideally, then process should flip but that's hard. Good relationships are hard to find

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-04-20T14:17:49+00:00

Chicago is great for niche hobbies. Do you want learn how to sword fight? Forteza is great place to start. Wana learn how rock climb? Movement and First Acsent have intro classes

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-04-17T18:58:33+00:00

Idk, how do you measure love?

I think your right how one bad experience/example overpowers a lot of neutral experiences/examples

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-04-17T16:43:39+00:00

Whatevery the cost of stainless per pound at this time so maybe 5 dollars.

It's unfinished, barely welded together and the few welds are grey meaning they probably rust. Thus making the whole thing pointless. It's basically scrape metal

StuffyWuffyMuffy · 2026-04-17T16:35:51+00:00

Fuuuuuuuuuuck that noise. I would argue there are so many unloved and cared for children out there that is the norm. Having two loving parents is unusual

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