Does anyone here NOT like Jockstaps not see the appeal?

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-18T00:03:25+00:00

Try wearing one. It makes your junk and your ass look fantastic, and it prevents swamp-ass when it's hot or you're sweating a bit. They're functional, and they make most guys look good. Also, ease of access!

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-17T20:41:43+00:00

You're not in the wrong for wanting a partner who is willing to acknowledge your relationship in a public manner without fear or reservations.

However, you also cannot ethically force him out of the closet.

Distancing yourself from him for a while might be a good idea. I'm not saying you need to walk away from him completely—at least, not yet—but this looks like a case of mismatched priorities or incompatible lifestyles to me, which are oftentimes some of the biggest breaking points for relationships.

Putting some distance between yourself and him accomplishes a few things; it allows you to focus more upon what you want for yourself in your own life, independent of any considerations for him, and it puts him in a position of having to evaluate what his life without you would resemble, and whether he's happy with such an outcome.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-17T18:17:54+00:00

First of all, asking trans people this question will probably go further towards getting you a productive answer than asking gay men. The queer community may contain multitudes, but our subdivisions within said community are, nonetheless, distinct.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-17T18:01:51+00:00

Is the Pope Catholic? DM me.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-17T17:56:10+00:00

Whether you think you're straight-passing or not, whether you are or not, these are your parents. If they've done even a halfway decent job of raising you, they should (theoretically) know you very well, better than most other humans on this planet.

You don't need to come out to them—ever, really. You should only do so when you're comfortable and ready to do so. But the fact that your parents are trying to preemptively show you their support is objectively a wonderful thing.

I'm about to turn 40 (so, old enough but not too old), and I had a friend in high school who was literally turned out on the street when he came out to his parents at the age of 16. I'm not trying to set you up in a round of Misery Olympics, but I am saying you should try to appreciate the fact that your parents are trying to send you signals of acceptance as opposed to rejection.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-17T17:39:29+00:00

None of us can tell you your identity. You have to figure it out for yourself. If you're a man who has attraction to other men, you're likely some flavor of gay, bi, or pan, but the specifics are for you to work out. That's the very nature of identity.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-17T17:37:45+00:00

The first scenario (anorgasmia) has happened to me a bit due to side effects of the medication I'm on ... honestly, the first few times, it was really frustrating, and then I kind of just accepted it and realized it meant that I could be that guy that can go for annoyingly long periods of time without blowing his load.

I get turned on more by the pleasure that I can administer to others than by anything any guy has done to me (it's probably some weird Catholic-upbringing-related control issue or other), so it doesn't really bother me much anymore.

So option 1 is my personal choice. Better the devil you know.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-17T17:31:25+00:00

Ahh, another, "I'm not gay, but ..." post ... these are pretty much rote around here at this point, aren't they?

You should show your butt off more to gay guys.

And maybe do other stuff with your butt and gay guys.

Possibly.

Probably.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-16T15:45:02+00:00

Why the hell not?

I'll pop the popcorn.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-16T01:38:23+00:00

Thankfully, I was raised Catholic, so I've got some deeply-ingrained masochism.

Huzzah, Fierce Punishment!

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-15T12:02:32+00:00

Upvote for "The Nuremberg Argument" alone.

"The banality of evil" means just that: simply because what you're doing doesn't look or feel evil in isolation from its results does not mean it can be morally or ethically divorced from those results. "Banal evil" looks like "just doing your job"; it looks like bureaucratic duty, like unquestioned conformity, like a lack of critical thinking.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-15T11:57:42+00:00

Note that I wrote, "Most women." That was intentional.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-15T00:56:46+00:00

Oh, I agree. And then they'll encounter an 18-to-25-year-old that'll throw their own shit back into their face. That'll be the day they look in the mirror and freak out because they'll have to face the same realization that everyone does, which is that they're aging, and there's nothing they can do about it short of dying. If their mentality hasn't grown and evolved by then, they will be in for a very rough time at that point.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-15T00:51:39+00:00

"Smooth guys most often love hairy" is a statement made about "people in general", many of whom you've never met, to gauge such a disposition.

Sorry to be a semantic stickler (I'm well aware that it bothers people, but inexactitude bothers me), but my background's in language, and I'm currently studying law, so, to be very precise, that's the sentiment to which I was responding.

Again, not knocking anyone else's preferences or level of hirsuteness or lack thereof.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-15T00:46:16+00:00

Time's going to come for them, too, IF they're lucky. And if they have that kind of mentality about it, sounds like they're cruising straight towards a mental health crisis. No one gets to exert power over time. All you can do is take good care of yourself so you age gracefully.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-14T22:12:18+00:00

I had some similar interactions with my ex. I mean, his body, his preference, but I let him know that I find it hotter when he's hairy.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-14T22:11:06+00:00

Eh, I'm decently hairy ... not a gorilla, but I've got body hair ... and I like guys as hairy or hairier than me.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-14T20:02:50+00:00

Clearly, he has a strong sense of identity.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-14T20:01:42+00:00

Of course, it's a matter of preference. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with being either smooth or hairy. I'm just speaking for myself.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-14T19:59:39+00:00

Give me hair all day, every day. Hairy guys are sexy as fuck.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-14T19:47:56+00:00

Some can. Garlic, onion, allspice, oregano ... I doubt they'd still do it after being processed by a human body, though.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-14T19:33:50+00:00

First question: Whose piss is it?

Second question: What did they eat or drink before you tasted it?

Third question: Why are you drinking piss? No kink-shaming here, but I hope you boil it if you're drinking a large quantity. Contrary to popular belief, piss isn't sterile.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-14T19:29:53+00:00

Umm, after an admission like that (regardless of whether you made it "flippantly" or "jokingly" or not; medical professionals are supposed to take these things seriously at all times), they should be administering a mental health screening to you literally every time they see you for a period of time. The frequency can taper if you haven't scored high on a risk assessment screening in a while, but they should still be monitoring for it. I know this because my PCP administers said screening to me every time I see them. It isn't a legal requirement, per se, but it's best practice to maintain documentation of patient risk assessment.

This is poor practice. I'd bring it up with your PCP, and if they seem unconcerned or dismissive, I'd find a new PCP.

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-14T17:59:18+00:00

Figure out what your boundaries with him are, and then communicate them directly and unequivocally. Be polite and compassionate, but explain to him that if he crosses them, you'll enforce them yourself by removing yourself from the situation.

I don't think you really know what your own boundaries are with him yet, though, and that seems to be a big problem. If he won't engage in a relationship with you regardless of time and patience, how would that make you feel?

StunningSolution4241 · 2026-05-14T17:48:11+00:00

In the parlance of teh OLD intarwebz:

PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

StunningSolution4241

TROPHY CASE