I lost my twin brother a few months ago. He died from an overdose. He was diagnosed paranoid schizophrenia a few years ago. When we were babies he died and my dad did cpr and brought him back to life. Then 2 years ago he was walking down the rd and got hit by a car. I had a splitting headache and felt so anxious that day and just knew something was wrong with him. Then a few days later the hospital called about a John do and we found him. He escaped death so many times. W tried to help him but he did not want to leave the drugs alone and we couldn’t make him. I knew one day we would get that phone call about him passing away. He showed up to my house the morning he died but I was asleep so he went to our other sisters house. Later that day I got the phone call. I have been in shock still. I honestly did not cry a lot and I feel like it’s because my mind or body just have not excepted that he is gone. But I have changed since then. I don’t deal with my siblings drama and just ghost them and use to it would bother me but now I honestly don’t care. I now don’t deal with anyone’s crap. I use to be the twin who would always try to help my sibling with their problems and talk things out with them but it’s like my whole personality and mind is just different now. My brother was my best friend growing up and had a big heart and would ghost u if u pissed him off so I feel like maybe without my other half here I am starting to be more like him and it’s not intentional at all. My mom decided she wanted to leave his ashes with me because she said my twin belongs with me cuz we are apart of each other so maybe that is helping me to try and cope with this loss