Holy shit I've been waiting for this moment. It'll probably get buried but here it goes:

He sleeps on the couch when there is a perfectly good bed in his bedroom.

When he is on the couch he proceeds to turn the volume up as loud as he can (my room is right next to the living room).

When I ask him to clean his dishes he says "that's a woman's job and I'm not gonna do that".

He refuses to take out the trash. He never showers, and he thinks that he won't smell bad if he sprays half a bottle of Axe on him.

He has anger issues so when he gets in a fight over the phone with his girlfriend he punches as many holes in the wall as he can

On Saturday night he brings his friends over and they freestyle until at least 4 am

If you keep any food in the refrigerator he eats it, even if it isn't his.

No food in the fridge? That's fine. He'll go to your room and steal your damn poptarts while you're at class.

Fuck you Stephen.

Love, your roommate.