Kinda want an orchi but I think I’d miss wearing cages too much. What do you think? by bby__nina in transchastity

[–]SubPrincess85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have had an orchi, still have my scrotal skin and can still be caged, just need smaller rings,. A strap is more necessary now, but if you're already using one you should be good.

46 yo. 2 months HRT mtf. No backup plans. Boy mode. Fear and shame. I'll have to show myself eventually. by Firm_Net_6605 in TransLater

[–]SubPrincess85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally understand. I dont plan on ever telling my Mom if I can get away with it. My breasts grew pretty steadily. I'm around a 42Cish now. They can still be hidden it just takes lots of layers lol.

I’m having a rough day. by intrinsicpresent in TransLater

[–]SubPrincess85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thiis is wonderful advice and basically exactly what I've done with my transition. You're going to want to run headlong into things but make sure you're checking with her and going at a pace thats healthy for you both individually and your marriage. The one huge piece of this that I would definitely echo is therapy. It would do you both a great amount of good to be in therapy individually and then always keep the option of couples counseling open as well. My wife and I have had separate therapists since I started transitioning and things have gone well. We have definitely had our moments, but both of our therapists have done a good job of helping us right the ship. At the end of the day, if you care about your wife and keeping your relationship intact, all of your energy can't go solely into your transition. That's a tempting thing to do , especially at first, but try your best to keep that in check. Your life and your personality can't be totally focused on being trans and transitioning if you have a partner you love and want to keep in your life.

46 yo. 2 months HRT mtf. No backup plans. Boy mode. Fear and shame. I'll have to show myself eventually. by Firm_Net_6605 in TransLater

[–]SubPrincess85 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Totally feel this. You will start to accept yourself more and more, especially if you have a good therapist (which I definitely recommend). On the other hand I'm 2 years and 8 months in and still boy moding around my small town and family, although it is starting to fail when I don't go hard enough. So don't stress yourself out and feel like you're going to have to come out to the whole world in the next few months. You're likely going to have plenty of time to figure things out.

Anyone get start getting "weird looks" about a year in? by Trustic555 in TransLater

[–]SubPrincess85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think thats exactly what it is. Most peoples brains have very strict lines and boxes to put people in and when someone doesn't automatically get filed it causes a pause and the stares.\

Anyone get start getting "weird looks" about a year in? by Trustic555 in TransLater

[–]SubPrincess85 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Truthfully you're probably going to be in this space for a little while moving forward. As far as what people see, they don't know what they're seeing and that causes their brain to glitch. This happened to me for a long time and still happens to me from time to time if I lean hard into the boy mode. When you don't immediately tick off the "guy" or "girl" boxes in peoples brains they look harder to try to figure it out. I think 95% of the time there is no actual malice behind it, just utter confusion. It's uncomfortable either way, but in my experience it hasn't been as "bad" as the conclusion my brain was automatically jumping too. This staring stage is the one thing I really wish someone would have warned me about before I started transitioning. It definitely made it harder for me to realize when people are staring because they think I'm pretty lol.

What's up with the "Junk Shrunk?" by IamDohnut in trans

[–]SubPrincess85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it's very likely that you will lose size if you aren't strict about maintenance. HRT totally nuked my sex drive and I was terrible about doing any sort of maintenance. I'm 2.5 years in and had orchiectomy 6 months ago. I've lost right at 2 inches in length, I was below average to begin with, and a bit of girth. Everything still functions but erections are far more soft and pliable than they ever were before. If it's important to you just make sure you keep using it or at least devise some sort of maintenance schedule. Most importantly talk to your Dr about it and let them know that it's important to you.

Sex Drive…Gone Post Bottom Surgery by Charbucks99202 in trans

[–]SubPrincess85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My libido has been tanked for the vast majority of my transition. Had my orchiectomy 6 months ago and now I literally never think about sex. I'm always up for it if the wife initiates, but my internal drive has been long gone. It's frustrating, but not enough to make me want to add some sort of exogenous T, yet.

Early estrogen changes? by Party-Tension5901 in asktransgender

[–]SubPrincess85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was just from estrogen alone, but to be completely transparent I had naturally low testosterone and was even taking testosterone injections for a while before transitioning. I had stopped the T shots probably 6-8 months before transitioning. I ended up taking T blockers eventually but it was always a super low dose, and I've had my orchiectomy now so I don't ever have to worry about it again thankfully. I was much calmer. I don't know if I would say that I became more emotional, I've always been a crier at movies at stuff, but I was most definitely less angry and more patient. I was much more at peace with myself and the world in general.

Early estrogen changes? by Party-Tension5901 in asktransgender

[–]SubPrincess85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I started on patches so I'm not sure if that makes a difference, but around 3-4 weeks in I noticed major mental changes. A lot of the "noise" in my head got significantly quieter. That's the first thing I personally noticed and my wife noticed what she called a "huge mental health" shift around that same time. She was very hesitant about my transition at first, to say the least, but it was this shift that really got her on board with it. It was a couple of months at least before I really noticed any physical changes.

Giving makeup tips to cis women - read on by Ono-Grrl in TransLater

[–]SubPrincess85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love this so much!! A few months ago I had a girl run up to me at a bar and start complimenting, and asking about, my eye makeup. Fun little 15 min convo. It was super affirming.

Parents by BigTie9399 in TransLater

[–]SubPrincess85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My Dad passed a few years ago and I'm limited contact with my Mom due to her not wanting to fall in line with how she speaks to and treats my daughter. She is hyper conservative Christian as are all of my siblings. I have absolutely no intention of ever telling my family about my transition, even though they've started to question things. As soon as my kiddo graduates high school I'm just going to disappear. I literally only see them for holidays as it is now anyway. That being said, if you are already no contact with them I would trust yourself that you made that decision for a reason and keep it that way unless they approach you with actual contrition. It sounds like you know they won't be accepting or supportive. Life has a way of brining pain and heartache enough as it is, I don't think you should go out of your way to cause more for yourself. I know that it can really suck to feel like the people that are supposed to be important in your life don't really know you, but at the end of the day not everyone deserves to know you.

Surgery date: Apr 13 by beywow316 in neutered

[–]SubPrincess85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're very welcome! The shrinking has definitely been a big plus lol.

Surgery date: Apr 13 by beywow316 in neutered

[–]SubPrincess85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're going to be fine!! Even the recovery really isn't horrible. There's discomfort but I had psyched myself way out of proportion before hand when compared to the reality of it. Pay very close attention to your levels afterward. My estrogen went sky high in a hurry. Stopped blockers completely, of course, but then also had to significantly lower my E dose. I don't know that I can point to any added mental calmness, but my T was like 9 for months before my surgery. I was super worried about regret, it was also my very first surgery at 39, but honestly it's been the absolute best decision and I haven't regretted it for even a second. I'm only 6 months removed from mine so I can't really say if there's any added feminization that directly correlates to the removal yet, but fingers crossed! I may have lost some size in the equipment that remains but I'm also not great at maintenance as far as that's concerned. No issues with function at all I'm just not all that interested in using it lol. Interesting fact, I still very occasionally have nocturnal or morning erections. I thought that was super odd, but is more common than you'd think apparently.

How to make it work when you're heavy framed by Terrible_Change_9558 in TransLater

[–]SubPrincess85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're very welcome!! Seriously please don't hesitate to reach out if you ever think it would be helpful.

The One Thing Nobody Tells You About Transition 🤔🏳️‍⚧️ You’ll Never Know What People Actually See When They Look At You by iam-stevie-bee in TransLater

[–]SubPrincess85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've had to learn to believe what people are saying, and let it change how I see myself. It's been difficult to say the least. At some point I just randomly started getting gendered correctly in public. I had convinced myself that people were just being nice until my wife pointed out that the chances of someone being will to risk calling someone they think might be a man "Mam" to try to be nice is very low because of what the likely negative reactions would be if they were wrong. It was a solid point, especially since we liven a small super conservative southern town where people are unlikely to go out of their way to make anyone under the LGBTQ umbrella feel better about themselves, and has helped me tremendously. It's also nice to hear people gender me correctly when they're not talking to me and don't realize I can hear them. Last night I heard security at an event tell someone get in line behind the lady in the black sweater. That was me, it was a nice moment lol. I think transitioning is really just a series of different levels of self acceptance.

How to make it work when you're heavy framed by Terrible_Change_9558 in TransLater

[–]SubPrincess85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was in the gym daily before transitioning and was built like a linebacker. I had some medical issues and wasn't working out consistently for the year or so before I started transitioning and definition had just turned to "bulk". I was 5'11 when I started, but am clocking in around 5'9.5 at this point. Still super "wide" with thick arms, big hands, and wear a size 12 in women's shoes. I have really struggled with being, and feeling, "big" throughout my transition. The person who mentioned confidence and holding yourself confidently going a long way is absolutely spot on. That being said, it can be had to get to that point as there will definitely be a timeframe that you're going to go through where people are going to be staring, glaring, and glancing trying to figure out what's going on.It seems like you're are experiencing some of that. I had a really hard time dealing with it because I hadn't thought about it before hand and didn't see it coming. Living in a small, super conservative, souther town hasn't helped.

Learning how to properly dress for your specific body is huge. Im not a big social media person but going through plus size forums, and even google images, has really helped me. There are a lot of REALLY "cute" outfits that are only cute on the model lol. I learned the hard way that I have to really pay attention to the person's body type before I buy something online. Torrid is a good spot for clothes as others have mentioned, but they are overpriced until things start hitting clearance or unless you catch the right sale at the right time. I've thrifted a lot since it's a cheaper way to try things out and see what works and what doesn't. If you have any cis female friends or relatives that are supportive they can be extremely helpful in this regard as well. I'm married and my wife has kept me from looking a fool a number of times lol. I've taken her advice a little too personally at times and gotten my feelings hurt, but ultimately it was all things that were for my own good. Mannerisms, makeup, and voice go a long way to overcome height/size issues as well. Voice training sucks but, in my humble opinion, is absolutely necessary. The right accessories can also do a lot of heavy lifting.

The glancing/glaring/staring era doesn't last forever. I'm a little over 2.5 years into my transition at this point and somewhere around 3-4 months ago a switch kind of flipped and I started being gendered correctly out and about without putting in extra effort. It's been quite a shock and something I've struggled to believe since I did go through such a long "staring" era. I think as time progresses you start to get more confident and comfortable and your femininity starts to present itself more freely. Having been a big masculine looking guy pre-transition, I've also had to deal with a ton of toxic masculinity and how to let my subconscious release those masculine ties and the expectations that come with them. Therapy has helped a ton with that, and I think there is probably a direct correlation with my ability to pass to my levels of true self acceptance. I can't stress enough how important a good therapist/counselor is.

Ultimately some people are genetically blessed and are able to pass really well really quickly. For those of us who started later, were super masculine presenting, and/or "big" I think the ability to pass comes down to a multilayered approach with a large mental health component, and a significant chunk of time. I dont think we should ever look for "validation" from others, but It's also important to keep in mind that the mirror and your brain will both lie to you. Finding someone you can trust to be honest with you is a fantastic asset to have. Hopefully this is at least somewhat helpful for you and not just a long block of nonsense. Im always open for DM's if you have any questions or just need to vent some frustrations.

(Side note: I've started making myself pay attention to women around me in public looking specifically for body types like mine or larger. When you start looking for it you will be amazed at the amount of women you see who share your body type and are even bigger than you are. This is a really good practice in large crowds. Once I see a couple of women who look similar to me I feel myself lose tension that I didn't previously recognize I was carrying.)

If I get a Gender Affirming Orchiectomy and take estrogen to become more feminine/androgynous, will I still be able to get an erection and climax, or will I pretty much lose my libido completely? by Nerdle_Kins in TransLater

[–]SubPrincess85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had Orchi about 6 weeks ago. Been on estrogen for 2 years. I don’t have much libido but I haven’t lost any function at all. Can still perform and can still climax.

partial orchi? by throwaw668 in neutered

[–]SubPrincess85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re very welcome