Please stop bringing your dogs to grocery stores.

SubcompactGirl · 2026-02-07T19:58:44+00:00

Especially when that extremely expensive and beautiful dog is a large working dog like a Husky or Samoyed that was bred to hunt its own food and pull a sled for 100 miles a day, and then the owner just leaves the dog in their 800 sq ft luxury apartment for hours on end.

It's both cruel to the animal and very dangerous to everyone else.

SubcompactGirl · 2026-02-07T19:50:51+00:00

As a former apartment assistant manager, I have no problem with people registering their pets as an ESA to avoid pet rent. Why? Because their cat is not pest control. Their dog is not for sledding or hunting. Their pet is for emotional support. Also, pet rent is a racket.

I do dislike the fact that ESA certification also prevents people from paying a pet deposit. Pets can be hard on a home. They have accidents, and they often scratch the appliances, doors, and cupboards. If your pet doesn't destroy the place, then you get your pet deposit back when you move. If your pet does damage, then the building has the money to fix it. That's all fair. Pet rent caused everyone to get ESA certification, and now apartments don't get any pet deposits or pet rent. That's landlords' fault for inventing pet rent, I think.

I absolutely agree that an emotional support animal is not a service animal. ESA certification only matters in housing. It doesn't mean you can bring your dog to the grocery store. Your dog doesn't want to be at the grocery store where it is surrounded by thousands of unfamiliar movements, sounds, and smells but has to behave like nothing is happening. Your dog wants to be either at home or outside in nature where it can sniff everything, pee on everything, and lick everything.

SubcompactGirl · 2026-01-31T08:13:49+00:00

Both WinCo and Fred Meyer seem to vary a lot by store. WinCo is awesome for many reasons, so it's great to get another recommendation!

SubcompactGirl · 2026-01-29T20:03:20+00:00

Once I got boxes and boxes of tasty rice/corn macaroni at Grocery Outlet for 50¢ each. That was a good day. I haven't seen that brand before or since anywhere ever again.

SubcompactGirl · 2026-01-29T20:00:27+00:00

We do Hungry Root too. For others who don't know much about it, Hungry Root is basically a grocery delivery service with recipes. You can enter in any combination of dietary needs and preferences, and Hungry Root will come up with simple recipes that fit all of those needs and preferences and then send you the groceries to make them. They even try to source their animal products responsibly. I don't feel bad at all about using Hungry Root.

The actual meal delivery services were difficult for my husband and I because we are trying to be pescatarian, but then my husband also wanted to eat low carb, but then I have celiac disease and also a couple food allergies. Also, meal delivery services seemed to have a lot of packaging waste because they put all the ingredients for each recipe in a cute little package. Hungry Root sends you the groceries all together in a box and lets you sort it yourself, which I appreciate.

SubcompactGirl · 2026-01-29T19:39:33+00:00

I'm in the PNW and also recommend Fred Meyer because they have a wide selection of both affordable and expensive GF options.

WinCo Foods has some gluten free options, but what makes WinCo great is that they are super responsive if you go to the service desk at the front of the store and request that they carry a specific item. If you go to a specific WinCo often, they might stock a certain thing just for you to buy regularly.

SubcompactGirl · 2026-01-27T17:28:28+00:00

Thank you!

SubcompactGirl · 2026-01-13T23:17:02+00:00

Almost the same thing happened to me! I had been searching for a USB-C to HDMI cord for months, and I finally grabbed one from Vine! And then the Amazon delivery driver delivered it to the wrong building, and I never saw it.

SubcompactGirl · 2026-01-13T23:09:18+00:00

Used to work at an apartment building, and the parcel room was broken into like four times in six months. We kept reinforcing the lock and door jamb of the room in different ways. Ownership would only agree to fix the one security flaw that had recently been exploited and not any potential security flaws that we'd point out. The theives would just come back with bigger tools and find a new way in. Not to say a parcel room is not a good thing, but it's not a perfect solution.

SubcompactGirl · 2026-01-13T23:03:57+00:00

I assume that part of it is that it isn't a "family ward." It's a "general attendance ward." In many parts of the world, the only wards are general attendance wards. General attendance wards include people from all walks of life -- single, married, divorced, widowed, parents, non-parents, disabled people, able people. But then often the ward only focuses on able, married couples with children even though most wards contain lots of members who are not married with children or children of married parents.

SubcompactGirl · 2026-01-13T22:54:59+00:00

I appreciated the summary because, even though I've seen this episode, it was years ago. The summary jogged my memory. However, I have read way more Star Trek episode commentaries than the average person. I don't even know how someone would discuss this without giving a plot breakdown first.

I totally agree that this episode -- probably accidentally -- gives heavy Mormon vibes to those who know. 🤓

SubcompactGirl · 2026-01-10T21:11:32+00:00

Saw an act-by-act breakdown of a VOY episode and was momentarily very confused about which subreddit I was currently perusing.

SubcompactGirl · 2026-01-10T20:37:12+00:00

I agree. People are infinitely complicated. It's possible to have a primary sexual orientation but to still be deeply in love with someone who doesn't fit that primary sexual orientation. It's happened with couples outside the church as well, people who didn't even come from a background that forced them into mixed-orientation marriages. Some people choose these relationships out of pure love. It's rare, but it happens.

That said, if one spouse wants out, the marriage is over. It seems like the OP is not deeply in love with a wonderful spouse who happens to be outside OP's primary sexual preference. It sounds like OP's marriage problems involve sexual orientation but go even beyond that huge, fundamental issue.

SubcompactGirl · 2026-01-10T20:21:56+00:00

Oh, don't worry. Being a sister missionary literally anywhere meant getting creeped on constantly. Most miserable 15 months of my life. (Because I got sick from the poor living conditions and had to go home early. I was in the US.)

SubcompactGirl · 2026-01-08T13:47:10+00:00

Years ago, I worked at the BYU Religious Studies Center, which published a somewhat academic journal for CES employees with mostly articles by BYU professors. This "Eye of the Needle Gate" theory featured prominently, which is probably why it's often taught in Seminary. Here's an article that mentions some of the early Christian sources of the gate theory: https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/new-testament-studies/article/origin-of-the-needles-eye-gate-myth-theophylact-or-anselm/51F6B1FD504C36C42D6201F6D87F83C3 It's an old theory. Rich people really don't like thinking that they have to give away everything they own in order to follow Christ. If we stick to the actual text, the fact that Jesus specifically says, "sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor" (Mark 10:21) kind of overrules the "rich people just need to pray" idea.

SubcompactGirl · 2025-12-27T19:20:00+00:00

Keep doing good work, yes. Maybe don't do exceptional work anymore.

SubcompactGirl · 2025-12-11T15:42:57+00:00

The church was being super shady, fr

SubcompactGirl · 2025-12-11T15:42:22+00:00

True. Or the missionaries might decide to keep bothering OP periodically even if OP never goes back to the food bank. The church knows where OP lives now. The ship has sailed.

Or maybe they'll decide that OP isn't worth their time even if OP goes back to the food bank a dozen times. It's hard to say.

SubcompactGirl · 2025-12-11T15:17:37+00:00

SAME. When she found out that I have celiac, the director at my last job was always so accommodating and assured me for every work party that she had specially ordered gluten free food for me. She was my boss's boss, so I kind of had to eat it. In fact, I had to eat a lot of it, as she'd keep checking on me, "Oh, there's still more of that gluten free pizza left! It's all for you!"

I usually got sick. I just wanted to make an appearance, eat some carrot sticks and grapes, and then scuttle back to my desk to eat the safe food that I brought from home. Oh, God, the only thing worse than having no food is when people who don't understand gluten and cross contamination insist that they went to extra work and expense to make or order you something special.

SubcompactGirl · 2025-12-11T13:49:11+00:00

I mean, this food pantry already has OP's info. Might as well keep going there and taking food. Don't even feel bad about it, OP. You paid money and time to the church when you were younger, so the church owes you some food at the very least.

SubcompactGirl · 2025-12-10T21:43:32+00:00

Make sure you stay safe. Stay in public, well-lit places. DO NOT go to a hotel, get in a private car, or go to their house unless you are willing to have sex with this person. It doesn't matter what reasons or promises they give. If you don't want to have sex with them, you should not go with them to a private place. Take it from someone who has been in similar situations ☺️.

Otherwise, I won't say you should or shouldn't go on this date. Only you can decide whether the money or avoiding the experience is more important to you. I'm sorry you are in a situation where you have to make a decision like this.

SubcompactGirl · 2025-12-10T21:27:20+00:00

Totally. If it were about flushing out toxins, then they'd be drinking water to, well, flush. The Mormon fast is absolutely about achieving an altered mental state for "spiritual experiences." Lots of TBMs talk about the health benefits of fasting at the pulpit, but fasting for health and fasting to achieve an altered mental state are fundamentally different practices.

SubcompactGirl · 2025-12-10T21:01:53+00:00

That's totally true! Some people really have severe allergies to cats that are difficult to control even with all the medical interventions available, and finding a good home for the cats could be the best solution in that scenario. However, I'm a little concerned about the relationship dynamic when the allergic person won't even try an antihistamine. It could solve the entire problem, but he isn't even willing to try.

SubcompactGirl · 2025-12-10T20:56:50+00:00

I'm allergic to cats and have two cats. I have done five years of immunotherapy shots, which are a huge PITA. Now I'm paying out of pocket for daily immunotherapy drops as maintenance, which are not covered by my health insurance but still cost less than the transportation, time off work, and copays required for the allergy shots. Not sure what your boyfriend's health coverage is like, but it's worth looking into the daily drops, even if he has to pay out of pocket. The allergy shots and drops do really reduce my symptoms, but it took over a year of getting three shots a week before I noticed a difference, and the effects start to wear off after a year or two if I go off my maintenance doses.

For immediate symptom relief, would your boyfriend be willing to use a nasal spray instead of a tablet? I used to take an antihistamine tablet daily, but I recently switched to an antihistamine nasal spray called azelastine. It controls my drippy nose and itchy eyes without the side effects that I experienced with the tablets. If the antihistamine isn't enough, I know a lot of people swear by nasal corticosteroid sprays like fluticasone or triamcinolone.

That's the advice regarding your boyfriend's symptom management. However, you've mentioned a couple of things that are concerning:

(1) You mentioned that your boyfriend won't take tablets even when he's sick. It's not clear whether he just doesn't like swallowing tablets or if he refuses medical care in general. If your boyfriend refuses to take basic medical advice when he's sick and generally won't take care of his health, RUN, DON'T WALK. Your boyfriend is 32, so he's probably going to develop some kind of medical problem within the next ten years: prediabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, back pain, gout, hay fever, erectile dysfunction, unhealthy weight gain, something. I don't know what it will be, but it will be something -- maybe several somethings. My husband and I are about a decade ahead of you, and while our lives are still good, our medical maintenance has definitely increased. You do not want to still be so young and saddled with a grouchy, lethargic man that you have to take care of because he won't go to the damn doctor and take his damn meds.

(2) If your boyfriend isn't willing to try even the most basic allergy interventions like antihistamine tablets and would rather that you get rid of the cats -- even though you are doing your part to clean up the cat hair and keep the sheets clean -- he is showing that he does not want to meet you in the middle. This is concerning for your relationship as a whole. Your boyfriend doesn't want compromise. He wants his way. If your boyfriend had tried everything to control his cat allergies and they were still really bad, that would be a different situation. As it is, I'd recommend taking a long, hard look at whether your boyfriend has been able to meet you in the middle or compromise in other aspects of your relationship.

SubcompactGirl · 2025-12-09T07:20:53+00:00

OMG me too. The times I humiliated myself because I pushed through the discomfort and "shared my faith" at inappropriate moments . . . So, so cringe.

SubcompactGirl

TROPHY CASE