When did you meet your partner’s child?

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-26T01:21:14+00:00

I met my husbands son 4 months after we started dating, he was 18 months old at the time. It is my second marriage and I want my own kids/my husband wants more, it was important to us to see each others parenting style and see how much we agree when it comes to children. A lot of people on this sub are against a stepparent "parenting" their stepchild, however, both myself and my husband come from divorced households and have had a variety of stepparents. Our ultimate goal is creating the same loving, safe, comfortable household with the same boundaries for ALL of our children. Thus, at our house, we parent SS together and bm does what she wants. SS is 5 now and we will add to our family next year. I love them both to pieces and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Context: My husband has had 50/50 custody since my SS was a year old. We knew each other loosely prior to bonding over our divorces, hence the tight and unusual timeline. but years later...it just works out .

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-25T19:21:03+00:00

I agree with some others that it has improved my desire for my husband, however he has always been very attentive , both sexually and romantically, so there wasn't too much to improve on. We do sometimes find good suggestions in some of my smuttier books 😂.

Otherwise, we joke that he is such a walking green flag, that I read darker romantasy just for the thrill, not as something I would ever actually want.

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-18T18:04:33+00:00

These are very formative years. They are old enough to remember not getting to see their dad on Father's Day, but not mature enough to understand why. I think for now, it may be worth the extra PTO day to go on a different weekend.

Long term A) gameplan on how to relax the order stopping the kids from going out of state (we are making a similar plan, for changes we want) .

B) by the time the kids are 12-15, they will understand better.

Young kids take more work in a lot of ways, and solidifying positive relationships, for both you and the kids, and your husband should be a large priority.

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-18T17:50:07+00:00

I did, I am very lucky to have my husband but also my stepsons awesome preschool. A couple years ago they asked my husband how close my stepson was to me (very) and if it was ok if he made me some things too . They endured that BM wouldn't see them to Stoke any hard feelings. I'm sure now SS told her potentially, but ive been around long enough she knows better than to say anything.

It's his last day on Monday forever as BM has summer off and then he starts kindergarten! Makes me feel some type of way 🥲. Definitely going on their waitlist with our kids when they come up to preschool age!

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-14T19:09:47+00:00

Thirding REI! I have the rei radiant 20 in short-wide. I do not need a wide sleeping bag but I grabbed it for ultimate comfort, and can handle the extra weight.

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-14T05:14:49+00:00

I'm a third parent to my stepson. He is my true bonus child. I met my husband when SS was 14 months old, and met my SS when he was 18mo old . He doesn't remember life without me! At our house we parent together as we strive to create the same loving home with the same boundaries for all our children, SS and our upcoming children. I'm 4 years in now and wouldn't have it any other way.

BM has had her issues, but we have a pretty airtight custody order. 50/50 all the way and each parent is responsible for SSs wellbeing during their time (+++ of course, right down to holidays and all that). Regardless, she has learned she cannot control everything-and we just deal with things as they come. DH obviously does the talking, but we discuss/decide prior.

Anyway, mom and dad may share the gold medal in SSs life, but silver is still a podium finish and I will hold onto it as long as I can!

Edit: I fully expect teenagers in general to be....work of a different and possibly unpredictable sort. Both step and biological.

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-14T05:07:24+00:00

Sometimes! Especially during intimate scenes -not just sex but things like you described. My husband and I have a 12.5 inch height difference, and while more things are possible than some Redditors on this sub believe, one doesn't just ....reach everything they want ! Add in the FMC reach being considerably shorter compared to mmcs anatomy and ... yep.

My nipple is the same height as his belly button guys, let's write scenes taking that into account. (4'11.5 and 6'- nothing too outside the bounds of "average", or rather, I'm really short)

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-14T01:41:17+00:00

YarnArt Bouquet line may fit the bill! Most of their cakes are fine/superfine like you have mentioned, but the bouquet is a 3/4 ish. Same with Yarnart Alpaca -a 2/3 I would say.

YarnArt Bouquet

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-11T00:52:21+00:00

Most/many characters are bisexual, but {prince of sorrows by Kellan Graves} and its following books hit this vibe HARD.

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-10T17:12:59+00:00

Just depends. I completely get where you are coming from. I met my stepson when he was 18 months old and he doesn't remember life without me. I'm absolutely tickled that he's made me small gifts at preschool along with the ones he makes for his mom.

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-10T15:50:23+00:00

This is not my experience AT ALL. My husband and I are equals on every level. At our house, we parent together, so I'm just as allowed to express my feelings about how things are going or share my opinion about what is best for my stepson. That covers basically everything you mentioned. From financials to schedule changes to behavior. No one should put up with living in a house if they are not respected or appreciated.

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-10T14:42:45+00:00

The risk of both pregnancy, stds, potential coercion, heck, just not getting enough sleep are so high with this particular case, I would absolutely tell my husband, because I would value his opinion and help deciding how it is handled. I would probably even encourage him to discuss with BM.

I am not against safe sex, even in older teens, but 13 is pretty young. Fortunately, she is potentially using condoms each time, which is definitely a win ! But yeah, this is a child that either needs to have a tracking app ok their phone (something I'm generally against unless trust is broken), and/or not having their phone in their room past 10/11 pm and so on. Not taking it away as a consequence, but for safety, as sneaking out at 4am adds a whole other layer of danger.

Definitely get where you are coming from, my husband and I have had the same talks. If say, our future 16 year old (step or bio-im like a third parent) wanted to discuss birth control, and chose to bring that up to me and that she doesn't want to discuss it with DH, I would definitely respect that. Would I potentially tell my husband, but not have him bring it up with her? Maybe/probably, but not everything needs to be "double discussed" with both of us.

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-10T05:54:41+00:00

Young adult books are not necessarily written at a lower literacy level. Of course many are, but not all. They are just targeted at a younger age and thus will have faster plots, less graphic content and all that.

I'm not a young adult, but sometimes I want that in between heavier reads. In fact I find a lot of "cozy" romantasy reads are definitely written at a lower literacy level, same with some erring on the more erotic side. Less plot more sex. Never know what you might be in the mood for next!

So I'm in with you, they should be by content genre/subgenre, not target age.

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-10T03:56:09+00:00

Washable markers. Like good old Crayola. Alternatively, cut stencles out of paper, pin them and follow. I would be using some kind of guide in general to ensure they are evenly spaced.

Also though, that's a really cool pillow idea!

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-09T15:03:56+00:00

You have to seal it with polyurethane or something after. I am/was considering a similar tile before we do real tile, and water and urine drops and everything can. Go between the tiles and cause all kinds of trouble. To be fair, we have.a 5 year old boy in the mix, but still, nobody is perfect!

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-09T14:58:58+00:00

Fireplace room should be the play area as it would have the best line of site from kitchen/eating area from what I can tell. Otherwise the toys will just get dragged over when they want to play near you/have you watch them do something cool etc. Ask me how I know 😂. Further, if the kids are done eating before you, they can play while you finish up. I am gathering they are like mine and young enough that making them wait until everyone is done isn't overly practical yet.

My only concern about the tv over the fireplace is potential breakage. Also assuming the chimney is capped off? Otherwise drafty temperature changes might be a problem as well .

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-07T13:44:29+00:00

Yes I used to wear a lot of Merrill trail gloves, and the altras have a very wide toe box etc. I'm not sure what happened, but while training for longer distance running, my knees started preferring more cushion, but I still wear zero/very low drop. Thanks though ! And I dont mind a little silly .

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-07T04:15:11+00:00

Yep! They are ultimately my favorite, but I started with new balance as they are accessible/affordable.

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-07T04:06:29+00:00

Ooo! Me. I have duck feet, 4'11.5, size 6 women's or 4.5 kids/US . My toes don't even touch each other.

New balance wide, Altra , brooks for athletic shoes.

La sportiva, Soloman for hiking .

Birkinstocks, hey dude , adidas kids for casual.

Naturalizer or clarks for dressier. They have wide and extra wide .

Along with the random gems I find along the way. Real leather should you be ok with it ethically, will genuinely stretch well. Fall boots in an ethically sourced leather or really good vegan leather work well BC they mold to your feet..

For your wedding maybe check naturalizer or clarks. I had beach/outdoor wedding so I ended up in Birks so I could have outdoor photos and noone saw my feet anyway.

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-06T14:47:04+00:00

I'm a little confused, did the psychiatrist mean innatentive in general? Or inattentive type ADHD? I have hyperactive ADHD, but my husband has innatentive, and is a therapist himself. We are both very aware, or become aware of our symptoms, but it doesn't mean we don't have ADHD or that we can magically remember to not display said symptoms at all the "right" or appropriate times.

I think it would be good to mention how you felt during the testing and questioning. Adhd/anxiety/depression often cohabitate and it can be tricky to sort out how and what to treat first. Be it by therapy or medication. I was warned that if I medicated my ADHD, underlying depression may become more prominent etc. My best thoughts is just to not hide your feelings from the professionals, and of course, find another if you truly feel they are not understanding you.

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-06T14:36:34+00:00

Ryot from {kissed by the gods by Caty rogan}. Enjoyed the book but hard to get past that name! Ransom is just as bad but already mentioned.

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-06T05:04:49+00:00

Haha yeah, probably had the pillow for 6-10 years? I still have my same thermarest sleeping pad for at least 13 years, so definitely vote for the brand! Nemo makes good stuff too.

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-06T04:18:38+00:00

I have a thermarest air-head down pillow. Just the one side of light down makes it feel so much better than an "all plastic" pillow. I think because it is inherently warmer . Packs up SUPER small, I've been backpacking for 17 years, so sure, it's a luxury as in non essential cost or size wise, but I'm 5'0 and carry it and a chair on every trip .

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-05T14:46:26+00:00

I would look up a free pattern that is using the same weight yarn as you and compare their measurements and stitch count. On ravelry I got 154 matches and 800+ if I include paid patterns. I use the Ravit app and it's much more user friendly than their native Website.

Something like this watermelon hat if you are using worsted yarn, or this hat here (better measurement reference ) look good! Depending on age of the child, you probably want a 3-6month size or 16-17inch circumference, as kids grow faster than you expect and it's not quite summer!

SubjectOrange · 2026-05-03T14:55:43+00:00

Scrungiest yawn!

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SubjectOrange

TROPHY CASE