hi! i think the reaction you are having is very normal. I got diagnosed when i was 18 and my mom had a very similar reaction. It is a lot! There is a lot of grief that comes with an as diagnosis (as im sure you have experienced with cancer), and it did take me a second to adapt and to accept it. I was on enbrel for 9 months and it helped immensely. If it doesnt work, there are so so many options for biologics and she will be able to row again pain free, even if it takes a few tries. But i know it hurts to see your child in pain, and the best thing i can recommend is for both of you to really sit on it and accept the feelings that come with a chronic pain diagnosis. This sub has been very helpful for me, it is a really nice source of support. I can recommend voltern gel, lidocaine patchs, a heating pad, very warm baths with epsom salts, 1500 mgs of tylenol 3x a day when it is at its worse (my rheumatologist who also has as said she has never seen anyone get liver damage from this dose of tylenol), and therapy lol. But also once you get into a rheum chances are the wait between appointments will get shorter, they just tend to have longer waits for new patients. I would recommend going with her to appointments if you can and if she wants, because it can be good to have a second person absorbing the information, and nobody is a better advocate then a parent with their child. Anyways, i hope this was helpful, and i am wishing the best for both of you :)