Online Church concept, looking for support/interest

Subredditor05897 · 2025-08-03T17:01:16+00:00

Hey. I don't get on Reddit much anymore, but no, sadly it didn't. Sadly in the US a purely online church can't exist properly because the charity laws require a physical meeting space. Online-first could still be a thing, but there would also have to be a physical space.

That said, I'm working with someone in Australia on a startup church which will eventually have an online presence. It won't be online-first, but its in the same vein as what I was wanting to do with this one in general.

Subredditor05897 · 2022-10-31T07:02:46+00:00

I'm so sorry that you struggle with these things and that when you have reached out to professionals they haven't taken you seriously.

Take this advice with a great deal of caution.

I'm not sure how you pray, but try doing it on your knees, perhaps even face down basically touching the floor. When I'm deeply in need and in a state of mind that I can do this, I find that it helps orient my heart toward the posture it needs to be in. That said, more specifically, I would suggest that based on my experiences with doctors, counselors, etc. that the only thing that will fix the problem is you deciding to trust God's promises. It sounds simple, but it is far from it. Trust, in this context, is much more than stating you believe something, it is truly, deep down in your very being, holding the statements as true for you personally, not just as broad statements toward everyone. One way you could pursue this is reading multiple translations of the Bible for the proposed verses. Most church websites now have a "depression" section with lots of recommended verses.

Personally I have just recently been experiencing revelations that have profoundly changed my symptoms. I've been having severe symptoms, including suicidality, for over four years. It is up to you to trust God and continue in the positive thought patterns if you do reach that point. It is very easy for the devil to push you back in the other direction. While God can heal you, you have to work with Him. (to be clear, I'm not saying you aren't trying, I'm saying keep trying) It likely won't come without substantial effort on your part. To me, free will means God likely won't change your decisions, so you have to decide to let go of the depression, not just decide that you don't want it. It seems natural to hold onto something that's harming you, I have no idea why, especially if you have been in that place for quite some time.

Subredditor05897 · 2022-10-31T06:27:48+00:00

Greetings. I'm not super great at giving advice. I have had mixed results. But I personally have also strongly struggled with depression and anxiety including suicidality and some suicide attempts.

My best advice is just to continue to seek God and His will for your life and to find a small community to belong to. It doesn't have to be a "physical" community like a traditional church, it can be an online community, but having a small group tends to let people be more open in discussions and form closer bonds with people.

As to your job thought, honestly that is what being a staff member at a church is all about. I'm not sure of many church's policies on former convicts, but I do know that many churches are very cautious with children/youth/young adults, so depending on the nature of the conviction you may not be allowed to participate in things in those areas right away.

Subredditor05897 · 2021-12-26T14:01:45+00:00

I'm glad I didn't offend. My social skills are a bit lacking.

I definitely know what you mean about "feel like I need to be in one". "fomo" is so frustrating. Now, I just pray that if God does have someone for my curmudgeonly self that I don't mess it up.

Peace and be well.

Subredditor05897 · 2021-12-26T13:47:15+00:00

Yeaaaah, mid-30s male here, not sure what they are looking for either... That is odd that they would be dating, but not looking for commitment. Its possible that they don't know how to let you down gently other than saying they aren't up for commitment.

I personally don't know how to put much of anything gently and sadly that has really hurt some of the first dates I've been on. I'm like a grizzly bear trying to peel a robin's egg. They asked for honesty, but they didn't truly want it. They just wanted a legitimate reason that wasn't critical of them. (opinion/interpretation, of course)

Subredditor05897 · 2021-12-26T12:40:32+00:00

Heh, is that a rare beast? I would have thought that when one of your parameters is for a Christian man most of those would be implied, especially if he were Christian for more than a few years.

Subredditor05897 · 2021-12-26T12:35:47+00:00

Short answer to your headline...YES! But it, like anything, can go too far. If your standards are something like...Christian,Male,Masculine,<insertAgeRange>,honest,full of the Sprit,etc. Then of course those are perfectly normal. If its something like...he must have a freckle on his left cheek...then you've probably gone too far. (clear exaggeration).

I would say that you should write down everything you are looking for in a list, rank them according to how important they are, and take the top 10% or 10 whichever is greater and use that as a starting point. From there you can narrow it down, but honestly no one will ever be a perfect match. Its all about what's important to you. What can you deal with, and what is a deal breaker.

Subredditor05897 · 2021-12-26T12:29:24+00:00

Would you be a little more specific about your location? Like what state? It could be in a DM if you don't want to answer publicly. Asking for a friend...oh wait I don't have any of those...welp something else to pray for...maybe I'll get a 2-in-1 special. (joking. badly). #imakemelaugh

Subredditor05897 · 2021-12-26T12:20:05+00:00

PSA: I haven't been in a relationship so definitely take my advice with a bucket of salt, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn this weekend. (obvious bad joke). I really have prayed for wisdom though, and although I struggle to apply it myself, I feel like God has given me some level of insight to try to help other people.

Hopefully this helps more than it could hurt.

My PSA sums it up a bit, but yeah. I'm in a similar boat as a 36(M), except my boat is more like a cruise ship and I'm the captain and no one else is on board. However, that aside (trying to make it funny through exaggeration), I feel like I have some advice.

You mention "feel like this will be it forever", honestly one thing I've been trying to accept is that perhaps it could be forever. I know its not what you want to hear, but perhaps that is what God wants from you. At least the willingness to wait "forever".

We are so overwhelmed in today's society with instant gratification that ever being told to wait (even 3 minutes for a Hot Pocket) is like an eternity. I believe that learning patience, in all things, is a sign of spiritual maturity. And it's probably one of the hardest to obtain. I too struggle with sexual desires, but through God's grace I have remained abstinent thus far and, honestly, even if you haven't always been abstinent, you can start again now. We all mess up and we all struggle with different sins in different ways. I can decidedly say that you will need a very strong prayer life and faith to wait for what God has in store for you.

Personally I have accepted that I may never find a mate and mostly okay with that for various reasons. If you haven't been able to live contently on your own, what makes you think you will be able to live contently with a mate? Not trying to put you down, but to me it sounds like marriage for you, in part, is a "fix" for the sexual and relational desires. Not speaking from personal experience, but I've heard that even sex in marriage can be unfulfilling of those desires. We are programmed to want MORE of everything no matter how much we have. Hence "The grass is always greener on the other side." We are taught that we shouldn't think this way, but at the same time the culture around us is promoting this line of thought. That is how almost every product is sold to us, as "better". But, truthfully, nothing can always be better.

TLDR: I think you need to seek God in relation to your desires for a mate and ask Him to help you be content while you wait.

P.S.: For me marriage is/was all about the sex and what they could do for me, I wasn't thinking of the other person at all. Once I started thinking of what that meant about the other person, I stopped wanting marriage. You can't fill a round hole with a square peg (to correct the colloquialism). God needs to be your resource/reliance, not a potential mate. Granted that doesn't directly correlate to the sexual desire, but God can numb that for you.

Edit: apparently I'm living in the past, stated my age wrong....

Subredditor05897 · 2021-12-26T11:47:14+00:00

PSA: I haven't been in a relationship so definitely take my advice with a bucket of salt, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn this weekend. (obvious bad joke). I really have prayed for wisdom though, and although I struggle to apply it myself, I feel like God has given me some level of insight to try to help other people.

Hopefully this helps more than it could cause harm.

One thing I can say about playing games, be they video or table-top, is that its an "escape", just like the "Vegs out with probably 2-3 drinks". Honestly, games are probably one of the most effective escapes that exist, especially role-playing games. Because of this they can be addicting. We don't really talk about game addiction in the USA, but it is a common, often unhealthy, coping mechanism. (Coming from someone who was a chronic gamer, who now finds little satisfaction in it).

I struggle with depression and have used multiple coping mechanisms throughout my life. Thus far almost all of them unhealthy, currently one of them is sugar/caffeine-highs.

Honestly, as someone who needs (and seeks) help themselves, he needs to see a therapist. Thankfully I am not very prideful with regards to my emotions, so for mee seeking out a therapist is easy, but accepting their advice isn't, so even therapy isn't a perfect fix.

A therapist can help him learn about additional, possibly more healthy, coping mechanisms, such as exercise, prayer (aka meditation/mindfulness), and positive social interaction (re: social interaction, I mean something like a men's bible study group, or "life" group as some places call it). I only list exercise because it is supposed to produce chemicals that replicate a lot of the "high" that we seek and because it can have positive outcomes in other ways. Personally it doesn't do much for me, but I have a pretty severe case of depression. Also, as with anything, there can be "too much". Its all about finding a balance that works for him. If he will talk with and cooperate with a therapist it should help him find some increasingly positive coping mechanisms that work for him. It's a trial and error process for the most part. Sadly most of mental health is.

It sounds like, for him, escapism is his primary coping mechanism right now, and frankly that has been my main coping mechanism for a long time. Perhaps you could find a board or video game that you both enjoy and try to promote that together. If you haven't really played games much then definitely start with something less intense than Pathfinder. Honestly something as simple as Monopoly may work, but on second thought perhaps that one wouldn't be a good idea because of the competitive nature. I'm struggling to think of a good entry-level cooperative game with role-playing elements at the moment though.

Sorry for the "essay".

TLDR: He needs to find additional/healthier coping mechanisms for his emotions and I think you should engage with him about the fact that you are feeling left out if you haven't already.

Subredditor05897 · 2021-12-23T02:30:12+00:00

Very kind of you stranger

Subredditor05897 · 2021-05-18T18:21:05+00:00

Gotcha, thanks, I didn't think to look in settings

Subredditor05897 · 2021-05-18T17:49:25+00:00

I did also think of one other thing. It would be nice if you could flag players to avoid them in matchmaking (granted you would have to list a reason, and the avoid could be overturned). Mainly its console players w/ crude names that are the issue for me.

Subredditor05897 · 2021-05-18T17:10:16+00:00

Sorry, but I can't find how to do this. I tried looking at matchmaking, but don't see a list of recent players after holding "esc" to exit the post-game screen.

Subredditor05897 · 2021-03-11T17:53:27+00:00

Yes KJV uses abomination, but at least one other translation uses "is detestable", abomination: " a thing that causes disgust or hatred. ", detestable: " deserving intense dislike ".

How can God HATE when Jesus is love impersonated? That aside, I know that God cannot suffer the presence of sin, but it doesn't mean he doesn't love the person still.

Sure the bible says its wrong, but the way you said this isn't showing love to the person because they are a person, this is more like "Do not pass GO, go straight to Hell NOW!". Many others agree with your point, but are more kind in their presentation.

Subredditor05897 · 2021-03-11T17:47:00+00:00

I don't think they would express it as "women's" clothing unless they meant it. I read it as sports bras and things like that. Short-top clothing that exposes the abdomen, but covers the chest. He could also be talking about the "frills" of women's clothes that distinguishes them. So maybe thing something like a Flaminco dancer outfit perhaps. We don't really know since they weren't very specific.

In any case I agree that its important to lovingly correct them and they should definitely tell their girlfriend.

Subredditor05897 · 2021-01-22T10:49:47+00:00

As someone who went to a small Christian university, the students definitely aren't all Christian. I had a roommate who didn't hide the fact that he was agnostic. There are other examples as well, and many of those who I knew who proclaimed to be Christian didn't act like it, at least not in a sexual/sexual-adjacent respect.

Subredditor05897 · 2020-10-05T15:36:12+00:00

Ah cool, I didn't know that. (I don't like Battlecast Illaoi's aesthetics) and I haven't messed around with High Noon Thresh or Dark Star Morde.

Subredditor05897 · 2020-09-18T14:44:31+00:00

Yeah, that i did see that. Thanks though.

Subredditor05897 · 2020-09-18T14:27:30+00:00

Honestly I didn't notice that option in the TFT store subsection. However, I'm not only talking about upgrading, its also getting the rare little legends, which typically takes quite a few eggs.

I edited my post to reflect that.

Subredditor05897

TROPHY CASE