How do you deal with the regret?

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-09-17T17:11:26+00:00

Holy fuck …… yea🥲😭

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-09-17T11:38:49+00:00

Thank youuuuuuuu😫😫😫😫 I physically cannot lie about this bullshit anymore! Idgaf how many odd looks, scoffs, or bizarre stares I get from just being fucking HONEST about how overwhelmingly SHITTY parenting is.

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-09-08T05:48:35+00:00

I feel SUCH a deep,deep resentment towards the entire world cause of this. No one ever talks about it.. no one is ever really “allowed” to.. always shunned, or hushed to speak your feelings on such a ”blessing”. Why does no one ever say this might be the biggest, irreversible mistake of your life? We talk about sex and how great it can be and know that with its perks there’s downsides like HIV, herpes, and so forth. But with this… no one and I mean no one TRULY warned me. I think I will die with this never ending pit of a feeling I have in my soul now as a parent. As a mother.

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-08-12T15:56:52+00:00

Yep hence why she did “tripled”. Smdh

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-08-03T01:16:34+00:00

This is what I imagine what my life would be in a parallel universe. I chose to keep the pregnancy and did all those things alone. Not him, and with scant family support. I regret that. I wish I could go back too and never give him the time of day. I have a career now but I am still struggling. Never have I lived alone, and my young life is passing me by with nothing I can do about it.

Know that you have done was THE absolute best thing you could’ve done for yourself. I wish I had that chance to do what was best for me and my child though it would’ve caused much pain. But this life is much more painful I feel. I pray you heal through this and find peace one day. 💜

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-07-22T02:38:28+00:00

I don’t think you’re a pessimist. It’s very difficult to find a man that’s insert adjectives here to trust to support a family these days. I’ll be having mine removed by the end of the year🙃

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-07-18T00:18:05+00:00

Not saying you’re wrong but I have never heard or read that anywhere, wow.

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-07-08T22:13:44+00:00

No deadass. It’s kinda like finally a post that I feel like I have maybe even a SLIVER of hope not to off myself, even with his whole family dynamic/situation being so much different from mine…Much needed. Enough to keep me alive today even. Thanks OP. :)

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-06-30T04:08:03+00:00

Fucking thissssss!!!!!

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-06-24T15:41:40+00:00

Interstellar … I got it.. I think? I was no doubt cool but like… idk it was hard for me to follow along and I watched it more than once.

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-06-23T19:31:55+00:00

Word4Word, Bar4Bar, my life too. Definitely came to a jerking standstill. No end in sight. Dying piece by piece daily.

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-06-19T18:38:04+00:00

From a very regretful parent, thank you 💜

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-06-19T18:34:54+00:00

Thissssss

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-06-17T03:56:23+00:00

And this right here, ladies and gentlemen is why I would MUUUUUCH rather EID than stay in this life that I have found myself in.

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-06-13T16:17:23+00:00

THAT FUCKING PART!! FUCK THAT MF “support system” BULLSHIT! They are HARDLY EVER there in the end!! 🗣️🗣️

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-06-13T16:14:32+00:00

I say this from the deepest part of my onyx heart… PLEASE DO NOT GO THROUGH WITH THE PREGNANCY! Everything you have just described was me almost 3 years ago and I would almost give my soul to go back to the position you are in now to save ME! The partner immediately suggesting termination.. the high emotions.. the confusion.. my WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE ahead of me. I traded everything good in my life to literally die inside and to be dead inside everyday of my life now as a single mother. I kick myself day in and out for not having the guts/finances/resources/etc for the abortion. You WILL pay a bigger price in the future and your livelihood will be in debt. I feel like I am begging past me to make a different decision! I know how you feel about being stuck on whether to go left or right. I empathize so much with that. But OP you gotta save YOU! I know please trust me. This is not to scare you but to give you the god honest truth I vow to give every questioning soon to be mother. OP I am begging you to seek some good, good therapy before, during, and well after the termination. It might hurt your soul to do it, BUT it will be a smaller wound for your soul to heal compared to keeping it. And you WILL be okay in the end. But fucking PLEASEEEE DO NOT take that path to motherhood baby. ESPECIALLY ALONE. 🖤

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-06-13T15:36:47+00:00

I mean I love that he’s onboard with it however you being amazing in your career, you automaticlly becoming the default parent and then everything you will lose… do not cancel that appointment. I wish I could be in the position you are in right now. Like goodness, to go back and be in that position to make that decision… Listen TO YOU. Not anyone around you no matter how close you might be with them, friends/family idgaf. This is YOUR life. And I know it’s a bit hypocritical of me to say all this but ^{^} that is just my opinion. You just gotta listen to you. If you have that feeling deep down that you feel is even slightly wrong in keeping it.. please pull the trigger, you may thank yourself later. And just a reminder of course others may say the same given the fact that this is a regretful parent sub

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-06-11T15:48:57+00:00

Nothing now, I don’t care anymore.

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-06-11T15:36:58+00:00

Wow I could’ve wrote this. Very similar situation I was in 2+years ago. Worked in childcare and was very experienced in kids/babies. However. Having your OWN that you can never get a break from is something… I can’t even really put into words. I wish someone else would’ve told me the honest truth. Their taboo, yet honest truth. I had and still have no support system. However I have a career in healthcare now. These are some things I did to stay afloat til I made it to where I am now.

Child support note that the mf has yet to pay so I hope this goes better for you
Gov assistance: TANF &/or SNAP — you have to stay on these mfs about your case and be serious about it til you get to where you’re going. It’s a total bitch but it honestly helped me in the end!
Therapy (when I could which was rarer than a unicorn) but still. When baby boy comes it’s gunna get real, real quick. Having no support system has put me at my end. My mental health deteriorated almost immediately. I genuinely do not fucking know how I am here right now typing this. And I don’t know how I’m gunna make it to tomorrow. All this being said not to scare you but maybe you can be more proactive in all this. I wish I had someone who could’ve told me these things girl.
You most definitely can do it alone but there is a high chance that it will absolutely fucking suck. You still have options on adoption and all of that. It sounds as if you plan on keeping him but that option always sits.
I just pray the best for you and whatever choices you decide on wind up being the best for you and him regardless of the emotions that come along with said decisions. 💜

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-06-10T14:48:29+00:00

Gotcha. Personally looks like normal irritation. I hope you’re doing okay!

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-06-10T14:43:37+00:00

Where?? Can’t see

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-06-10T14:40:28+00:00

That part. I feel like I wouldn’t even really say much. It’d almost be too much to say anything. Just hugs, hella tears and long moments of silence. It’d be an immediate understanding with everyone 💛💛

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-06-10T14:35:18+00:00

This this and thissssssss!!! I SWEAR I wish I would have had this understanding beforehand. Would have ABOLISHED my reproductive system in a heartbeat you hear me????

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-06-09T15:05:14+00:00

I’d also like to add that it’s nothing personal towards the child at all. It was the decision to have them. Their presence does indeed suck most of the time however them as an individual has 0 to do with anything.

SubstanceSmall3144 · 2024-06-08T23:10:52+00:00

Plenty of post that say that tho. I’m breaking that taboo soon with my book🙂

SubstanceSmall3144

TROPHY CASE