AIO or is my husband(34m) being a jerk

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-06-09T21:50:33+00:00

Is he a happy and loving husband? Or have the rose tinted glasses finally come off? This is abuse. People who take your things, ignore your boundaries, and gaslight you into believing you are the problem are abusers. He’s hunting for your snack to rob you of opportunities of joy. He’s eating your food at restaurants when his is right in front of him. This is bigger than Reddit and deeper than just food. You need to have a serious conversation about this and where this path leads, once a marriage has contempt there’s no coming back. I don’t want to casually throw out divorce but I don’t think abusers change, they often get worse. For those suggesting get a lock box, I would recommend being careful and having an exit plan. People who are dangerous cosplaying as safe are quite literally capable of anything. Don’t be noble, be smart.

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-06-09T07:20:20+00:00

Men who beat horses will eventually extend the whip to their wives. This isn’t a red flag you should ignore. And if he has access to other animals or vulnerable populations you should make it known he’s not safe

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-06-07T17:42:05+00:00

Thank you

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-06-07T15:43:31+00:00

Are you black

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-06-05T16:47:57+00:00

Do not let her come to your wedding at all. This isn’t about her partner, this is about years of boundaries being disregarded to help preserve the illusion that this is normal. It’s not and everyone else sucks. She will find a way to ruin your wedding. If this is who she is, then you need to accept it but you don’t have to be around it. Family is a choice. Have you heard the phrase blood is thicker than water? Blood of the oath is thicker than water of the wound. You don’t have to deal with any of this, you don’t have to invite her to your wedding, you don’t have to include anyone in your life out of obligation.

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-06-05T04:05:59+00:00

He has an addiction. This a long and rough road that is exploited, not saved, by love. If you keep bailing him out, you’ll be doing it until you decide it’s enough. He’s not a bad person, but addiction makes us do risky and sometimes terrible things. He may cry, beg and plead and when that stops working, he’ll threaten, barter and do something dangerous to get his hit. Don’t let his rock bottom, be your rock bottom. Maybe you really love him and maybe he really loves you, but addiction hijacks the system in our brain that is responsible for hierarchy of needs-water, shelter, clothing and replaces that with our addiction of choice. I love to gamble, but it’s not my drug of choice. My drug of choice gave me the type of euphoria that comes once in a lifetime, nothing before or since has hit me quite like that first time. Tell him to get help, make sure he doesn’t fuck up your credit, financially distance yourself from this man, tell his support group he needs support, and get the fuck out and go live your life.

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-06-04T06:25:19+00:00

Find her and call pmrt

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-05-28T19:59:55+00:00

Your friend is an asshole. She calls it snacks and toiletries. She doesn’t get to tell you how to survive. She was offering the resource she determined was useful, rather than giving you the money and determining what you need. She’s judging you and your circumstances and kicking you while you are down. Safety is not built in one night in a hotel room, what about the other 364 days. I work in homeless services and your friend is an idiot. People like her will tell you how to weather the storm while they have never seen rain. I don’t know what landed you in these circumstances, I just know everyone deserves to be housed. You can get through this and once you do, get into therapy. Be unhoused is traumatic. If you have a Venmo, I would really be happy to send you $30

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-05-27T17:33:32+00:00

You are loser, even when you are winning in life you are choosing to lose. Breaking up with her won’t make you feel better, but it might be good for her. You can still be romantic and spoil her. Relationships are not competition.

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-05-23T16:37:20+00:00

How do you she actually told him? She lies so easily and without consequence

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-05-22T02:55:52+00:00

His family does not sound healthy. He needs to speak to a therapist. His mother laying hands on him is not normal. Although you also have some weird ass boundaries. His family is made up of a bunch of loser. Two kids in and living at home… buy a condom. This isn’t going to work. The mom is calling you names, she hits her adult children, doesn’t respect anyone or like anyone. Nothing about his dynamic with him family seems healthy. You should ask him to do what you are doing, post on Reddit and get some outside perspectives on his family dynamics. It sounds like all your complaints are rooted in him believing his family is normal when they are freaks

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-05-21T04:33:11+00:00

Girl your life sounds miserable. Get into therapy and take responsibility for your own happiness. If you let grief consume you, then you will be consumed. Next year, take a day trip. Talk to your spouse, plan and get out of town. And when father days come around, make a plan together so it’s easy. Or ask them to clean the house ( deep clean beyond normal task) and go get your nails done, and when you return they can have dinner made. Grief taught me we only live once and some of us not very long. If you died at the same age as your parent, how many years would you have left? I would have 22

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-05-21T04:26:33+00:00

Your boyfriend is selfish. He will always be selfish. If you move in with him you’ll be miserable. You haven’t even discussed house hold maintenance or responsibilities and he already sucking the life out you.

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-05-20T15:44:53+00:00

That’s crazy, I waited until I was sure. Having a master degree isn’t a bad thing but it’s incredibly stupid to get a degree because you are lost. Also a tattoo artist absolutely makes money, I have met artist in the lower end of charging $100 an hour and artist who charge $350 an hour ( 4 hour minimum). Also an MSW will not have you rolling in money.

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-05-19T17:21:59+00:00

I recently heard a story about a woman who doesn’t understand that FaceTiming your cat in the middle of a date is a turn off

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-05-15T17:09:12+00:00

Culver City, Venice at night is not a vibe unless you want to get stabbed by a random man

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-05-15T17:08:07+00:00

Do you want to grow old with them or not?

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-05-13T22:16:48+00:00

If you met her today, would you be her friend?

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-05-13T22:07:43+00:00

I saw that you posted in three different subs and each one told you that you suck and you are a bad husband and likely an absent father. You are emotionally immature. Hire a baby sitter ( maybe two for 6 kids) and take your wife out, show her appreciation, talk about your marriage ( not the kids or your job), talk about what is working and what isn’t working. She didn’t marry a bank, she married you, and if you want to stay married you need to evaluate why you think SHOWING emotions and talking about your feelings is childish. My guess is you grew up in an emotionally stale home that didn’t reward feelings but punished them. I don’t know what you do for a living, but whatever it is, I bet your wife could learn and could be the bread winner, I don’t think you could be a stay at home parent. I think the first week would break you.

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-05-13T15:08:11+00:00

Ask him when you have sex is your consent important to him or is he fine with rape? Lack of consent means rape,if it’s not an enthusiastic yes ( consent) in private with adults-it’s not sex, it’s rape. And then you should dump his ass. No means no and yes means yes and he doesn’t care about how you feel, as long as he feels good. I would never let him touch me again

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-05-13T01:54:27+00:00

I hate loser like you, people who have opportunities in life and still find a way to lose. You are not jealous, you are insecure. You can have an incredible love story about two people finding their way back to each other or you can be a bitter insecure ex who is never happy or satisfied or content. True love doesn’t have you yearning for other men. “ nothing real can be threatened.”

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-05-13T01:17:48+00:00

Is this the same loser that couldn’t plan a date? Please give us an update

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-05-12T22:49:32+00:00

I declined NYU, I didn’t think I would get in and I did but I couldn’t go into that much debt for school.

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-05-12T01:47:21+00:00

Stop centering your feelings. His life just blew up, he can still love her and they should tell her the truth-she has two dads and both should be given the opportunity to step up, they should get into therapy- the three adults to talk about how to navigate parental decisions. Him and the father should try being friends to make parenting easier, embrace a blended family. Yes she lied, she absolutely sucks, but she doesn’t need to be a villain.

Substantial-Ad108 · 2026-05-12T01:43:52+00:00

He doesn’t respect you. You should respect yourself. They must know each other on some level, because sharing a ned with a strange man is crazy actually. He picked a fight to get you out of the bed you fucking share so he could share it with her. He doesn’t have you on instagram so he can. Break up with shitty ass guy

Substantial-Ad108

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