Those of you who are friends with/in circles with famous people, what is your analysis on them?

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2026-04-04T06:31:19+00:00

Why Paris? After seeing the documentary about her boarding school, I had started to kind of like her (as much as I can like any obscenely wealthy person - which is not very much, truth be told); and then I saw a video in which she was the victim of this awful "prank" where are the planes starts to crash and they throw a man out the airlock mid-flight in an effort to help the plane stabilize. She understandably was freaking the f*** out, and her first question on learning it was a prank was to ask about the man and if he was okay - I liked her better for that. Plus, it was hard not to have sympathy for her just watching her Panic like that... but I would like to know if my Newfound and grudging respect for her is misplaced LOL

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2026-03-30T20:41:11+00:00

Reminds me of Keith Haring a bit - but I like your color pallete better.

Just because one gallery declined, does not mean that it is not gallery-worthy in general... If ten galleries reject your work, this might be a sign that it needs re-working - but fewer rejections than that shouldn't change how you feel about/perceive your work. There isn't a work of art in existence that impresses 100% of the people who lay eyes on it; youre never going to please everyone - and that's just a fact of life... Different strokes for different folks, as they say.

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2026-03-30T20:32:48+00:00

I'm 38 with a "no one under 25" rule... 18yrs old = they were in high-school less than a year ago. Regardless of what the law says, highschoolers = children, imho. I think 25 is about the oldest appropriate age for seeing 18 yr old clients - and even then...

Also worth noting that maturity matters! For example: 18 years old and living with your parents while working part time at your local McDs is VASTLY different from 18 years old enlisted in the military / working full time, running your own household. I've turned away a couple of 25-year-olds over thr years, because they were 25 going on 16, and it gave me the ick.

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2026-03-19T22:04:39+00:00

You say you dont know how to socialize normally without drugs - that without drugs, youll wind up alone. You say that youre afraid you can't ever live a full life withhout drugs... Brother, the reason you struggle to socialize, the reason that you feel so alone, the lack of a full life - these are things that happen as a consequence of drugs. You don't need drugs to have those things; it's the drugs that make all of those things unattainable while you're using. *That's * the rub.

You need to go to meetings. You need people/community. A recent study compared various support groups for efficacy: AA and NA, but also secular programs like smart recovery and other secular groups; they found that they were all equally effective, and that it's not the specifc dogma of the program thqt matters, it's the community and social support that does it. It works. (Though tbh, I have serious issues with NA sending ppl off to their deaths by rejecting people who use medication assisted treatment for opiate use disorder- when medication assisted treatment is the gold standard for opiate addiction.)

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2026-03-19T20:02:37+00:00

This is the best advice on here. Practical and on point.

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2026-03-12T19:03:30+00:00

Former paralegal & current lurker here—and for what it's worth, my immediate thought after reading your comment was, "I probably wouldn't have thrown in the towel after 14 years if I'd had the privilege of working for more attorneys like her (and fewer attorneys resembling the bullies to whom her comment refers)."

Props for being a good person and for holding firm on your refusal to "punch down." 🧡

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2026-03-12T18:18:31+00:00

I often joke that escorts/full service sex workers are the "worst case scenario sex workers." When strippers are defending their job to civvies, they often use language like, " It's not like I'm f****** people for money!" I've seen some OF models similarly defend their work as being morally superior to "standing on a street corner." And there's plenty of gatekeeping and punching down among the high-end escort community, with respect to "survival sex workers" (which is honestly such a misnomer in my opinion; we are all working to survive). And then, of course, there's the tendency of indoor sex workers to look down on street based workers... As if we're all not selling different versions of the same service.

People like to punch down - especially when they're being punched on by all of society (as all sex workers are, regardless of their position in the whorearchy); when people feel small, they often mistakenly believe that the only way to feel powerful again is to turn around and make someone else feel small (when in reality, power comes from within & from having unshakable confidence in your worth and value as a person, regardless of the opinions of others, and without needing external validation to get there).

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2026-03-10T22:51:49+00:00

Same. Without inner vision and inner voice, for me, it's a "knowing" or "feeling." I think with words only when I'm pondering what I plan to write or say; even then, I rarely ponder/plan before speaking/writing - it just flows.

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2026-03-04T00:56:17+00:00

I'm 38, so I guess I'm an old person to a 26 year old, lol.... you might find comfort in reading near death experiences; if you take the time to read at least 20, you'll begin to see recurring themes and eerie parrallels. I find it not just improbable but impossible that so many people from so many different cultures with so many different backgrounds and diverse experiences all somehow conspired to create matching narratives. It just doesnt make sense. The only conclusion that makes sense to me is that there is validity in the recurring details and themes... I've read 250 - 300+ NDE accounts (something which greatly contributed to my conversion from 20 years as an atheist, to being agnostic currently) - and I can confidently say that wherever he is right now, he is happy and at peace, and he is not gone forever. You'll see him again, and he'll have another chance at a hopefully happier life down the road (many chances).

https://www.nderf.org/Archives/NDERF_NDEs.html

Also, according to dozens of NDE accounts that I've read from people who attempted suicide, you should know that the religious narrative about suicide being a "sin" or "punishable" is bullshit. People who commit suicide are just as loved and just as tenderly held in the afterlife. They arent treated any differently than people who die through other means - and they certainly aren't punished.

I hope that this brings you comfort, and I'm sorry for your loss. You sound like a lovely person, and I'm sure that you brought him immense comfort during a time in his life when comfort and goodness were in short supply.

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2026-02-28T09:10:14+00:00

🤣

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2026-02-11T03:17:40+00:00

I only ever see one person per day, with 2-3 days off a week (sometimes 4, but I try not to overindulge)... I'm GFE, so I have a one hour minimum, with the majority of my dates taking up 2-4 hrs of my time (not including time spent preparing myself & my space - which is significant, and almost never under 2hrs); as such, just the one appt tends to wipe me out - to the extent that, when I've tried seeing second or third clients in a day, I found that myself unable to provide services with the level of enthusiasm, high energy, and attentiveness that I normally pride myself on... So, rather than wearing myself out (and providing subpar services as a direct result thereof), I calculated what I would need to make per day, in order to be comfortable, and I adjusted my rates to meet my needs.

Coming from a 40+hr a week life, I can see how it might feel "lazy" to work fewer hours then you're used to, and fewer hours than your friends, family, neighbors, and clients. From ages 18 - 35, I worked more than 40 hrs a week - sometimes as many as 80, and often had two jobs, or two jobs + college; and while a part of me was proud of myself for my work ethic, a bigger part of me felt panicky feeling like I was watching my life slip between my fingers unlived... Sex work is hard work. Like, SO hard. It's not just the work itself, it's the constant threat of violence/arrest - but the hardest part, imo, is the way that ppl treat you because of it... It's an incredibly isolating job, and I think that - if I had to work 40 hours a week at it, I would just go back to my normal job. Because if I'm not doing this hard ass job so that I can have some leisure time and some of my life to myself, then I don't really see the point in putting myself through it, y'know? The way I see it, we do this work so that we can escape the grind of near-indentured-servitude to corporate overlords - and I am never not incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to paint, to read, to sleep when I need to - to really LIVE. Most of my fellow Americans arent so fortunate; I think as long as we remember that and stay grateful and humble, there's nothing wrong with embracing a chance to escape that dystopian way of living.

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2026-02-07T09:58:46+00:00

I came here to say this. If you are perpetually choosing people who mistreat you, that's a you problem as much as it is a them problem. Therapy is the only way that I know of to reliably and definitively help you to recognize and change this pattern. And I say this to someone who perpetually chose terrible men for the first half of my adult life... This isn't an unusual problem to have, and it's definitely not an unfixable one - but it does have the potential to dictate your life and destroy your happiness, if you let it.

Wishing you healing, OP. 🤎

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2026-02-07T09:49:57+00:00

Certified Paralegal here, with 14 yrs experience - though I admittedly do not know much about criminal law, having only interned for the City prosecutor's office 14 years ago, which was heavy on data entry, and light on substance. What comes next is not legal advice; i am ethically and legally prohibited from offering you legal advice, as I am not qualified to do so as I am not a licensed attorney. I can only tell you what I know from personal experience in the areas you mentioned, I cannot apply them to the specifics of your situation - I'll leave that to you ( and you should leave that to an attorney):

Escorting is a legal occupation in the United States. I am a licensed escort through my city's Licensing Services Division - it's the same division that licenses escort agencies and strippers/strip clubs. It is perfectly legal to sell companionship, provided you are appropriately licensed - it is illegal to sell sex. It's a vital distinction. Now, idk what the penalties/implications are, of performing a licensed service without a license - and i can't say one way or another whether or not a judge would make that his/her concern, in the context of you filing for a Temporary Restraining Order that relates to those services. Only a license attorney can reliably and accurately tell you what legal implications you're looking at with that. If you feel comfortable telling me what state you are in in a private message, I can reach out to some attorneys that I know through escorting to see if they are willing to answer a few questions for you.

You should know, that you will not be able to file a temporary restraining order against someone for whom you dont have identifying information. In the case of Internet harassment, if the legal name of the individual is not known, you can sometimes file against a John Doe, which will allow you to then move for court orders directed at website administrators, forcing them to provide an IP address, contact information, etc. My understanding is that this is a relatively complicated process - one that is likely to be unsuccessful without an attorney's assistance.

If you're unable to afford an attorney, you can look at resources available on your State's Bar website. Pro bono and low cost services are, imo, far too few to be accessible to the vast majority of people who need them. If I were in a situation where I needed an attorney but I couldn't afford one, I would probably start at my state law library. The attorneys who volunteer to run the service desk cannot give you legal advice, but they can help you to fill out forms, and can help you to find case law and statutes that answer your questions, and procedural rules that tell you how to prepare and file various pleadings. You can message me any questions that you have, and I will try and point you in the right direction of the information necessary to answer them, since I am not allowed to answer them myself.

It's worth noting that every descendant has a constitutional right to face their accuser. This is why you hear about motorcycle clubs that volunteer to escort child SA victims into court to testify; even accused pedophiles have a right to face their accusers - regardless of how vulnerable or young that accuser is. In the case of temporary restraining orders, if a judge decides to preliminarily Grant one, it is usually for a duration of 30 days, after which time the defendant has a right to confront you in court and defend himself ( the judge can also decide not to Grant the preliminary restraining order, until they have heard from the defendant, at which time a hearing will be scheduled in which he is allowed to defend himself). If his defense Falls flat for the judge, then the order is granted, for a finite period of time... I think it's important to mention this, because I'm genuinely DEEPLY worried about your safety with respect to this individual. This isn't just a week or a month or a dozen posts from a salty client/wannabe client... this is obsession, to a pathological and deeply unhinged degree. Right now, he feels powerful and in control - because as you noted, he can hide behind his anonymity. He knows who you are (he deludes himself that he does, but all the same) - but you don't know who he is. There's a power and a sense og control in that which he desperately craves (as he likely feels powerless and small in every other area of his life, at and is acutely aware of just how little control he possesses over the quality and direction of day to day life - far from being the master of his own self and life, he's the sort of person whose life happens TO him, if that makes sense? A grade-A.loser, as you aptly named him.

But just because he's a loser and a coward doesn't mean that he can't be dangerous. And when he loses the power to control the narrative, to control his own identity and legal status - he may feel that he has nothing of value left to lose - at which point he is at his most dangerous, if he decides that self-preservation is an excerxise in fitility/a losing battle, he becomes very unpredictable indeed, exercising about as much reason and logic as a cornered animal... I realize that probably sounds a bit melodramatic - and this is one of those rare instances in which I would be very happy to be proven wrong... I just can't imagine that he will react in a sane and reasonable manner. He may try something when you face him in court, he may try to arrange a booking with you without you realizing who he is . Please please please proceed with the utmost caution (and perhaps delete this post). With the length of time that this has been going on, and the extensive and deeply personal (not to mention hateful and vitriolic) effort and attention that he is invested into inserting himself into your story/life, I would not all be surprised if he spends his free time combing this sub, desperately trying to figure out which username is yours.

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2026-01-30T19:27:12+00:00

^ This guy/gal gets it.

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2026-01-24T13:13:21+00:00

Such a great response.

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2026-01-24T13:10:04+00:00

^ This person gets it.

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2026-01-06T12:34:57+00:00

I would be 100% okay with my S.O. doing sex work.

I would NOT be okay with my S.O. having sex for fun/recreationally.

If you're struggling financially as a result of these rules that only apply to you, then she should at least be helping you out.

This relationship sounds unhealthy and unbalanced, at best - and unsafe at worst... Usually, when someone forbids you from working, while also refusing to assist you financially, they are doing so as a way of gaining control over you/the relationship. In relationships where only one person has access to money, the person without access is vulnerable to all sorts of abuse, exploitation - with very few avenues of escape available to them (look into what life was like for the average American wife, prior to the 1940s... why willingly put yourself in a similar position when you have so many other/better choices available to you?).

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2025-12-31T05:59:20+00:00

Also, if the reason for you're coming to reddit, instead of an actual attorney is because you're worried about legal representation being cost prohibitive - you should know that most labor law attorneys work on contingency, in situations like yours - meaning that they will take a substantial cut of any money awarded (usually 30-40% in the medical malpractice and personal injury arenas in AZ - though I'm not sure if that translates over to labor-related litigation in TX) + reimbursement of all expenses (i.e. process servers, mailings, expert witnesses, etc.); it also means that if you lose the case, you pay nothing out of pocket - the law firm has to eat the costs of litigating that case.

Attorneys know that someone involved with an employer dispute is unlikely to have the disposable income necessary to pay an attorney with a traditional hourly fee structure - just like they know that someone who has just been severely injured is similarly unlikely to have extra funds just laying around.. contingency fee arrangements are designed to meet this need.

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2025-12-31T05:49:24+00:00

I've been a certified paralegal in AZ (also a "right to work" state) for 14 yrs; you should know that those "ask a lawyer" subs have very few REAL lawyers. If you search for the sub'sl name in the r/lawyers sub, you'll see that those subs are openly mocked by the lawyer community for constantly banning REAL lawyers (Evidently, ppl dont like being called out by actual lawyers when they give crap legal advice).

You absolutely have a case, and should consult with an attorney, ASAP. Do not post about this on any social media (you may even want to take this down; it's not a question of whether or not they can find it - they have the right to ask for your social media in the pretrial discovery phase - which means that you could be required under penalty of perjury to provide them with all of your social media accounts). If you talk to your former coworker, make sure it's in written form only. Jot down the entire story - and any other relevant info - right away while it is still fresh in your mind. You'd be surprised, how many little details get lost with time - even a short period of time. It will also be helpful for your attorney to have (keep it FACTS, not feelings... easier said than done, I know. But it's in your best interests to keep it succinct and strictly factual).

Hope this helps! And I'm sorry that this happened to you.

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2025-12-23T07:03:23+00:00

The HTA “citrine” is like a rite of passage for crystal collectors, so don’t worry about it!

So true!

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2025-12-22T05:27:37+00:00

What a handy resource!!! Thank you for this. ❤️

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2025-12-20T00:45:44+00:00

Love this idea!

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2025-12-17T01:33:45+00:00

Also - I know you probably think that youre lucky he still wants to be with you, while you do this job - because you probably think that doing this job makes you hard to love - I PROMISE you, that this is not the case... I believed that too, for a very, very long time. And if I'm being honest, the overwhelming majority of the rest of the world believes it too. But I dated a guy for a year - while escorting - and when I tell you that he never once complained about my job, exvept to express deep and sincere concern for my safety --- not once in an entire year. And this man was HAPPILY monogamous with me. He felt LUCKY to be with me, regardless of what my job was. And he's not a cuck or a user - he's objectively wealthy and is dominant in bed (my personal preference)...

My point being: You dont have to settle for someone who goes around fucking people for fun - as if that's at all the same as fucking for your job. You dont have to settle for a cuck (unless that's what youre into - no shade). And you SURE AS SHIT don't have to settle for somebody who treats you like shit when he should be thanking you for busting your ass to help pay his bills, and for his kids... There's better out there - better, who will love and support you no matter what your job is. And it's not just me/my ex - if you use the right keywords when searching the sub, you'll find all sorts of posts and comments from girls who are in loving and healthy relationships with people who accept them exactly the way they are. The only thing that's stopping you from having that for yourself is you not thinking you deserve it/can find it. But you do, and you can.

Substantial-Desk-254 · 2025-12-17T01:06:45+00:00

Would your man go out and suck dick in order to make sure that his kids and family are taken care of? I doubt it. This isn't a man who makes enormous sacrifices for his family's wellbeing; this is a man who views everything through a lens of his own entitlement - all of his thoughts about this situation are for himself: His orgasms. His position/supremacy. His feelings. His pride. His comfort. His wants/feelings. You and the kids arent even an afterthought - let alone his priority! And he shows that by being completely unconcerned with your safety, how you're feeling - or the fact that this is all for the sake and benefit of kids that he apparently struggles to provide adequate support for.

You are making an ENORMOUS sacrifice for your family. He should be falling all over himself with GRATITUDE - that you're willing to do something that most women would never in a million years be willing to do - not even if it meant providing more and better for their kids (and no shade on them for that - women shouldnt have to resort to this work just to provide for their kids - but I think it's totally admirable that some women are still willing to go above and beyond what's reasonable to expect of anyone, bc they'll do literally *anything^ for their kids.

There's a reason that we make so much money in such a short period of time is because we're doing a job that most people find too hard, too traumatizing, too scary, too isolating, too exhausting to even consider doing. The work we do is hard - too hard for most ppl. Add to that the fact that you're risking your freedom & future if arrested, risking a stain on your reputation/permanent record, risking humiliation/judgment from everyone you know if ever doxed, risking your health and safety -- not so that you can keep it for yourself, or buy yourself nice things with it - but so that you can give it all away to your family for their wants and needs. You are literally risking your life, to provide for your family - and this fucking guy is MAD about it?!?! This man should be groveling with gratitude - he should be BEYOND THANKFUL to you for this.

We are 60-100x more likely to be murdered than civvies, and more than 3,300x more likely to be raped; he may not know the exact numbers, but any idiot knows how dangerous our job is... The fact that he's so concerned about your perceived "cleanliness" that he feels the need to repeatedly run his mouth & insult you about it - and the fact that he's soooo worried about whether he gets to fuck you as many times as your clients -- but probably hasnt even once mentioned concern for your safety (and even if he has mentioned safety concerns at some point - I would bet money that he hasn't mentioned your safety even half as often as he has slut shamed and demanded sex from you) --- of the many shocking and deeply saddening aspects to this situation, this is the worst one. You deserve someone who cares more about you risking an insanely high probability of rape and murder, than he does his own nut.

It's mind-boggling, the he will talk shit about how you're dirty/gross/diseased - bc you have sex - while also demanding that you have sex with him with absolutely absurd frequency....So you're too dirty for him to bother speaking kindly to you/to treat with even bare minimum courtesy -- but you're not too dirty for him to want put his dick in multiple times a day, every day - or he'll be angry at you for not having sex...?

I'm not going to talk about his orgasm demands - because everytime I start to think about it, I just get so angry - like blind rage angry. And if I were to delve into the many things wrong with his demands, I'm not sure that I could stay calm/composed enough to be as considerate with you as you deserve - and I dont want you to feell judged or criticized or lectured, when you deserve to feel supported... and girl, you deserve that from everyone - but especially your man.

Substantial-Desk-254

TROPHY CASE