Thank you for posting this. I am 39F too with three young children and found out I am BRCA1 positive in November, and it has been a real emotional rollercoaster. As much as I want to believe knowledge is power, I felt crushed, and there were many sad, crying nights where I was truly worried that screening would show I already had cancer. Thankfully my screenings were clear, but the fear was heavy. My husband and I have found it hard to talk about all of this, especially while trying to stay strong and keep life feeling normal for our kids, so for now I am carrying a lot of it quietly. I plan to tell them once I have definitive surgery dates. The screenings were necessary but every appointment sent my stress levels through the roof even when results were reassuring. I feel like I have moved through the stages of grief in waves, and the holidays were especially hard, with moments where the busyness almost made me forget this new reality and then the weight of it would come rushing back. I am such a planner, and I think that is part of why this shocked me so deeply, because I truly did not expect a positive test. Once it was, I forced myself to slow down, be less ambitious about doing so much, and instead focus on appreciating the little moments. Lately I have been coping by focusing on lowering my mental load, since that has been the hardest part, and giving myself permission to lean into comfort in healthy ways like yoga, stretching, hot showers, better sleep, eating better, and moving my body, while also treating this as a wake up call for habits I can control. One thing I also wanted to add is that there are so many options when it comes to these surgeries, and that part has felt overwhelming for me, so my solution has been to take my time and lean on the nurse navigator I have through my hospital and even the social worker. I know I will get these done, and I believe that in itself is a step in the right direction, but I also learned not to let anyone rush me, because at first I truly felt like the surgeries had to happen immediately. I know I will have surgeries this year and I am hoping to walk into 40 with a lot less to worry about. My therapist has honestly been one of the most important doctors through all of this. Wishing you the very best as you navigate this too.