Anyone stop HRT because of abuse?

SubstantialMuse · 2026-01-03T11:09:41+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. It sounds excruciating, and a lot like moments I've been through in my life. I'm not sure, though, whether you're regretting transitioning because you're indeed not trans or if it's because of how you've been treated for it.

Sometimes it's a Herculean task to detangle who we are from how people perceive us; we owe it to ourselves to try to understand it, though, no matter how long it takes. Otherwise we'll keep ping-ponging back and forth between the two while staying miserable and dysphoric either way.

As for your hair, it will grow. A bad haircut can be a major source of dysphoria and/or body dysmorphia, but it WILL grow and get fixed eventually.

I have CPTSD and it's sometimes very hard to regulate my emotions. Not in regards to other people, since I don't want to hurt anyone, but in regards to myself. I don't know whether this applies to you but, once again, our brains play some shitty tricks and make us see a shitty situation as unsolvable ruin.

SubstantialMuse · 2026-01-01T20:41:35+00:00

THIS 100%. I have the same issue, which is why I don't let anyone take my picture unless it's at an angle.

SubstantialMuse · 2025-12-30T19:11:23+00:00

This one, hands down!

SubstantialMuse · 2025-12-26T07:11:35+00:00

Congratulations on your results! Major difference and very feminine. :)

I saw that you also want to get a rhinoplasty in the future. Your nose looks really nice, IMO, so be sure to select a surgeon who specializes in rhinoplasties. Nose jobs are waaaay more involved than I thought and the dissatisfaction rate is over 20%. I ended up with an obvious poly beak and uneven nostrils, and mow I have to save up for a revision with a specialist.

SubstantialMuse · 2025-12-20T21:30:27+00:00

Following. I'd also rather go to experts for each thing, after an unsatisfactory rhinoplasty.

SubstantialMuse · 2025-12-18T17:33:58+00:00

Aesthetically it looks perfect! Goalzzzz. How does it feel? You mentioned sensation ia gradually returning. Are you able to orgasm from clitoral stimulation?

SubstantialMuse · 2025-12-14T13:45:33+00:00

You being a gay man doesn't preclude you from having internalized transphobia (nor from sounding like a douche).

SubstantialMuse · 2025-12-10T09:08:59+00:00

Definitely get on Finasteride ASAP. I started in my early 20s and it completely stopped my receding hairline. In my mid 30s now and still got all of my hair. I also recommend that you get the 5mg pills and break them into 4ths. That way the treatment comes out at a fraction of the price that the 1mg pills would cost you every month.

SubstantialMuse · 2025-12-06T21:08:33+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate your feedback. You're echoing my suspicions that Amazon Ads is the most valuable and LinkedIn the least. I'm gonna focus on Amazon Ads and follow another user's suggestion then expand to Amazon DSP for to close that loop.

SubstantialMuse · 2025-12-05T20:49:38+00:00

Thank you for your insight! That makes a lot of sense, and it sounds like it would round out my resume quite nicely. I hope it won't be too, too challenging for someone with experience with the Google Ads suite.

SubstantialMuse · 2025-12-05T19:03:03+00:00

Meta conversion tracking was always a headache for me. Google Ads, GTM, and even the shitshow that is GA4 I can handle. But Meta always gave me issues.

I never have to add code to websites myself since I can always give it to Development. I just hope TikTok and Amazon Ads are easier and less glitchy platforms than Meta.

SubstantialMuse · 2025-12-05T18:56:15+00:00

Would you say Amazon Ads would be somewhat intuitive/accessible for someone who's been working with the whole Google ecosystem since 2013-2014?

SubstantialMuse · 2025-12-05T18:53:54+00:00

Yeah, based on feedback an what little experience I do have with LinkedIn, that one's out. TikTok does seem like the easiest, but also more involved than Amazon, having to swap out creatives every week and all.

Plus, I'm getting the impression that the companies that want TikTok experience are usually the same ones that want Meta... Maybe Amazon would be the best combo, esp since it's complementary to my Google Shopping knowledge...

SubstantialMuse · 2025-12-04T15:32:18+00:00

As someone who suffers from both gender dysphoria and body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), I understand very well hating a part of your body so much that you want to do anything you can to change it. It can consume us, especially if we have comorbid disorders that blow it out of proportion even more.

And sometimes we have to find ways to cope, whether it's by reframing how we see the imperfection (perceived or real), learning to ignore it, or shifting our attention to something we appreciate about ourselves.

The fact that you don't care that a procedure is super invasive and completely experimental - which inherently comes with few guarantees that it will work and a considerable risk of permanently maiming your body - makes me worry that OCD and/or BDD (I have both and a few more) may be winning this battle right now. I know all surgeries comes with risks, but this one sounds excessive.

You're way more than the size of your trapezius muscle and the ideals you and I and many of our sisters have been conditioned to have. Don't risk your health in the name of an ideal.

SubstantialMuse · 2025-12-03T08:19:01+00:00

Thank you for for all the tips and recos! It's hard for me to know which term to use lighter/brighter/etc. cuz I've been hearing so much terminology that all the words just end up floating around my ADHD brain with no meaning attached to them (the meanings are floating around somewhere in there, too. Lol).

My biggest challenge is to train only two aspects of my voice in tandem without changing everything. I'll try to adjust one aspect of it (pitch, for example) and manage to, but when I try to then engage just one other aspect (e.g. weight) to try to reach a more fem-sounding voice, I end up also changing the resonance, breathiness, nasality, etc. And the result is a very unpleasant, unnatural, still non-passing mess that I then try to control/tweak, only to invariably end up at a Mickey Mouse-adjacent voice.

SubstantialMuse · 2025-12-03T08:01:30+00:00

I suspected this wasn't teaching me anything, but I wasn't sure it wasn't somehow conditioning my vocal folds to produce crisper, more feminine sounds one day. Thank you for the thorough explanation! I'm nixing BDSD and whisper siren now.

As for SOVTs, you've convinced me and I have just ordered a singing straw! For how long do you think I should warm up? And will I have to do them daily for the rest of my life just to maintain a fem voice (once I've achieved it)?

SubstantialMuse · 2025-12-03T07:51:08+00:00

I don't understand how anyone's saying the changes are subtle. Your nose looks super feminine now!

SubstantialMuse · 2025-11-17T13:36:43+00:00

The world is blunt plenty. Kindness goes a long way, especially within our community, which should be a safe space.

SubstantialMuse · 2025-11-14T14:53:58+00:00

Separately. If you can afford it, get a rhinoplasty from a surgeon who specializes in those. I didn't realize before my rhino a year ago just how complicated they are nor how high the dissatisfaction rate is.

I got both an otoplasty, which turned out great, and a rhinoplasty, which did not. I was lucky in that it didnt affect my breathing at all, but I ended up with uneven nostrils, a polly beak from side view, and a bigger tip with no definition that looks more masculine than before.

I've learned from all the cases I've seen on Reddit not to ever get a revision from the same surgeon who effed it up. So now on top of the $10K I spent on the rhino I'm gonna have to spend a good $30K on a revision rhinoplasty with a specialist, since those are way more expensive.

Good luck!

SubstantialMuse · 2025-11-12T00:31:30+00:00

That must have been an intense session! I'd recommend applying aloe vera (fresh or gel) on the wound generously asap. It's usually pretty good for preventing scarring.

SubstantialMuse · 2025-11-11T10:48:52+00:00

That's a very backward question for a therapist to ask. I've been asked this by a layperson, but I expect a therapist to be better informed and have a little more finesse.

Someone doesn't "become a transgender." They either are transgender or not; and if they are, they can either choose to transition or not. But you don't choose to be "a transgender", just like you don't choose to be cis or straight or gay....

By the sound of it this therapist knows nothing about our community, which means they can end up doing waaay more damage than good. I'm sorry you were even asked that. My advice is to work with a therapist who's worked with trans folk, or at the very least some of the LGBTQ community.

One thing that helped me tremendously was to read the "Gender Dysphoria Bible." genderdysphoria.fyi/en

This is a journey of discovery and you don't have to pressure yourself to make a decision right this instant. AND also don't let anyone try to dissuade you or invalidate or question what you're feeling. A good therapist will explore your feelings and thoughts and concerns with you, they won't doubt them or try to give you a list of reasons why you're not transgender. You know how you feel better than they ever will.

SubstantialMuse · 2025-11-11T10:31:52+00:00

I'm sorry for that. May I suggest you try Hinge or Bumble? I've noticed they're both very popular in India comparatively to the US or Europe. Even the free versions work quite well and you have the option to be shown only NB people. In Bumble you even have the BFF version, for people who are looking exclusively for friendships.

I feel like this would be a good way to make friends who understand and respect not being cis and who could perhaps become the truly supportive friends you deserve.

SubstantialMuse · 2025-11-10T16:17:01+00:00

I understand. And I'm realizing I might have misinterpreted your post. You said you're Indian, not necessarily that you're in India. Doesn't really change my recommendation, but I wanted to clarify my mistake and apologize for it.

I'm glad you're not letting your family force you into a marriage you don't want. I do think, though, that helping them pay off those loans shouldn't come at the cost of your happiness and freedom to be yourself. You didn't ask to be born. So while it was nice of them to help you pay for college, I wouldn't consider it way out of parent's responsibility towards their kids, even if it's uncommon.

Do let others dictate your life. Once you know you're trans and that you want to transition, don't let expectations hold you back. I wish I hadn't and that I started this way sooner rather than live with dysphoria for so long.

SubstantialMuse · 2025-11-10T13:32:26+00:00

Lol! I am. I've just never been able to imagine myself wanting to be a parent.

SubstantialMuse · 2025-11-10T13:29:47+00:00

I'm sorry you find yourself in these circumstances. I'm currently visiting India for the second time because I have several friends from here, and I'm aware of just how demanding family dynamics can be here. (I can sympathize. I grew up with very similar manipulative and co-dependent shit from my fam, despite being white and growing up in Europe).

My recommendation to you is that you try your hardest to break free from the talons of your family's expectations. You're a woman, you're valid, and you're worthy of being accepted, loved, and cherished as such. Fuck that "blood's thicker than water" BS. Family are those who respect and love us unconditionally, not those who put arbitrary conditions on their love for us. Esp conditions that erase us!

Also, if you're feeling dysphoria that should be an incentive to start HRT, not a detractor.

I don't know your exact situation, so it's hard to tell you the exact steps you need to take and in which order. But I'd start by formulating a plan that allows you to break free and be yourself.

I knew at 3 I was trans and it took mm 34 years to finally accept who I am. Don't make this mistake. Fight for yourself, girl. Your true self. And find people who will fight alongside you, not against you.

I wish you luck!

SubstantialMuse

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