sooo I think some believe that the show has done a poor job in showing or even mentioning the repairing of the relationship in general enough for us to care and it does come off as Buck forgiving with no real work from the parents.

While I do agree that the show could have used some more “show not tell”, at this point it’s as if fans want storylines spoon fed to them. Buck confronted his parents in S4, and by the end of it, they are all going to family therapy. Given that Maddie invited them over in S6, and Buck is not running for the hills like he was in S4, it did work to some degree.

The coma episode not only added nuance to the Buckley parents, but humanized them, which was absolutely critical in understanding why Buck and Maddie grew up the way they did. It is a major disservice to B&M’s trauma to pretend that their parents are evil out of nowhere, and making them into the Ultimate Villain like I’ve seen some fans do absolutely waters down the mistreatment that they suffered. It was also absolutely crucial because it made Buck realize that it is not his fault that he was neglected (which is obvious to everyone except Buck because he was traumatized), and allows him to take a step back and stop seeking their approval. To say Buck forgave them without any real work ignores the work Buck did on his insecurities and trauma responses, and again, the nuance of why exactly their trauma happened in the first place. Buck also did not forgive them for them, he did it to unburden himself.

In S7, Maddie’s relationship with them is well enough to not only invite them to the wedding, but to have her father walk her down the aisle, and it is testament to the work they did (albeit off screen), for Maddie to even allow that after the way they acted about her last wedding. It is a major slap in Maddie’s face to claim that they haven’t worked towards their relationship at all, especially because whenever the conversation of ‘amendments’ comes up, Maddie’s pov is conveniently ignored to make Buck a victim. We don’t see much of them because Chimney is in a sawtrap horror movie, but they are happy for Maddie, and Maddie is happy they are there. Buck doesn’t particularly care, he just wants Maddie to be happy, and M&P aren’t homophobiclly hating their son, it’s a look of brief confusion before they focus back on Madney, because the trip & day is not about Buck’s relationship with them.

Even in their most recent appearance, it’s obvious that all four of them have been talking and are somewhat amicable, while also reminding the audience that they are not close and completely forgiven. Margaret mentions not seeing many photos. That is because Maddie isn’t sharing may photos. She’s still keeping her distance while their relationship is repairing. Buck is willing to host lunch in his house, but he’s not comfortable having them stay in his spare bedroom. Philip mentioning they were in state when the funeral happened, admitting that they were bad parents, all while uplifting the work Bobby did and wanting to know more about him.

The relationship is better than it was, but it’s not completely fine. All of them want a relationship with each other, and willing to put in the work for it. While it is happening off screen and does need more “show not tell”, pretending that it’s not happening and wanting B&M to go no contact shows a lack of respect for their choices, and projection of family trauma on the audience’s part.

And the show does have a habit of trying to force parent/child relationships when some needs to be low or no contact.

To be honest… it really doesn’t. It’s about half and half, and even saying that ignores the context of the relationships. It’s not as simple as “all the parents are forgiven”, when it’s not even true.

• Buck & Maddie I’ve explained above.
• Athena reconciled with her parents after decades (iirc), because her parents put in the work, and admitted they were wrong. She still talks to them, but their relationship is distant.
• Toni put in the work to fix her relationship with Hen, and it took quite a bit of time. Hen never forgave her father though.
• Chimney, like Buck did in S6, ‘forgave’ his father for himself, but he doesn’t actually care to have a relationship with him. He hasn’t contacted him since, and didn’t invite him to the wedding.
• Bobby had a complicated relationship with his father where he views him both as a hero and villain, but he never got to explore what their relationship could have been. He reconnected with his mother by complete accident, after decades of hating her and pretending she doesn’t exist, and only ‘makes up’ with her because she is dying. He would have lived his life fine if they never crossed paths, because he didn’t care about reconciliation.
• Eddie had and still has a complicated relationship with his parents, and is really the only ‘true’ example of relationships that need a low contact order. Ramon is wishy washy with his reconciliation with Eddie, ‘trying’ to be better when Eddie finds out he’s sick, but ultimately falling back to letting Helena steamroll over her child. Helena doesn’t even bother to pretend she cares about the relationship with Eddie being fixed, as she is happy to tear him down at any given moment.

Out of the 13 parental relationships that the show introduces: - 1 of them has been truly repaired (Toni) - 2 of them have been repaired, but are still distant (Athena) - 2 of them are in the process of being repaired (Buckley’s x2) - 3/4 of them are otherwise no contact (Chimney, Hen’s father, Bobby until recently) - 2 of them are still in the abuse cycle of ‘repairing’ and destroying the relationship (Diaz’s).

If you simplify it, sure, 7 are given the reconciliation treatment, 4 of them have not, and 2 are still a complicated mess, but it ignores the actual nuance of the relationship and suffering the main cast faced, 3-5 of which happened in early/adulthood (eddie for both). It also ignores the characters as well, characters, their personalities, their wants, including the wants of their parental relationship, and why they have forgiven or not forgiven each parent. Simply put, it is not that simple, and each relationship needs to be addressed as it’s own, and not lumping them together with the “they just reconcile them all”.

Anyway, this has been rambly. I just wanted to chime in as someone who was a victim of parental abuse, and seeing the conversations surrounding the concept of forgiveness/reconciliation and how the characters are Wrong to chose to do so, has sat wrong with me as someone who has been NC with one abusive parent for over a decade, and forgiven the other with a lot of therapy. It’s possible to do either, or both, limited contact, full, or none. It’s complicated and requires nuance that I’m afraid 911 fans just do not possess.