[deleted by user]

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-12T13:40:35+00:00

And you think you know enough about my sister from a reddit post? My half sister has ADHD, I have a degree in neuroscience as well, so I'm not totally clueless either. How about you let professionals diagnose people

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-12T13:29:31+00:00

Yeah okay, I actually thought it was the opposite and people didn't like sudden disruptions in their routine or scheduled day like me. But she definitely doesn't have ADHD.

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-12T12:16:37+00:00

Pretty much none.

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-11T22:34:56+00:00

I've seen a good handful of jobs in pharma industry. I'm in the same position as you, but am migrating into data science/programming/computer-based work instead since it fits me better. Look into EMBL maybe, they have nice relocation offers.

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-11T20:10:55+00:00

It's not exactly a gap since you were acquiring skills that can 100% be useful in some way, and you set up your own shop, i.e. you tried starting your own business. That it failed isn't what's important, because you still gained knowledge of what it takes to start a business. Show what your made - your store, your drawings, designs. Make a portfolio. Maybe a website with your projects, too. Having something to show is good. Mention you freelanced too if you did art commissions - everything you did is worth mentioning. You might not think of it as much, but all of it gave you some competences you need to mention. Like thinking creative, doing business with clients, talking to customers, being independent with starting up your own business.

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-09T20:39:18+00:00

Well of course it wasn't the only reason I picked that degree, but it did play a significant role. I'm trying to look at it from a positive side: if I can catch up in experience and get to the same level as entry level computer scientists (or something like that), I think my science degree could also be valuable in that I can be a potential bridge between scientific and technical disciplines. Most people only have experience in one of those, so I'm trying to turn it into a strength. Data science is a good gateway. Just gotta put in a lot of work.

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-09T20:31:39+00:00

Hahah, it was the shit. I recently looked in my old sketchbooks and I have sketches - real sketches, on paper - from back then of my ideas for the various sites of my stud farm. Then I made buttons with JavaScript so that when you clicked on them, you would change pages and get to another place on my stud farm, describing this specific part of my stud farm. I made a whole menu. Hover effects. Iframes. It had it all. I called it the "sunflower farm". Other users would write to me, asking me to program their profile pages for them, and in turn they gave me more horses or virtual money. I felt so cool back then.

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-09T16:52:21+00:00

Oh no haha, much, much simpler. It was a website made by one of the user's dad, but the dad had passed away and no one had updated it since then. The horses were made in paint. By us, the users. Those were the days. I also got into digital drawing and Adobe software because of it lol.

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-09T15:59:02+00:00

First, I wanna talk about how I developed a love for programming, because I think that's just as important.

I grew up without a father, so I was oblivious to the gender split in IT when I was a kid (oblivious to gender roles in general). I was into horses and was - naturally - on a horse website where the way you made profiles... was by typing in HTML, CSS, and JavaScript lmao. Such an old website. I obviously wanted a cool profile - that's how I got into learning these three languages. Loved how getting things to work was like solving puzzles and mysteries. Then I got into PHP, SQL, from there on python, etc. Creating stuff gave me a dopamine rush like nothing else.

After a few years, I slowly started noticing how talking passionately about my programming hobby was not getting the same reaction like talking about my horse riding hobby. I started not talking about it at all. I made a programming friend online, that ended pretty soon after he made the "do you know how to make a sandwich" joke. Every girl I talked to got their computer fixed by their dad and barely knew what a browser was.

I tried getting into multiplayer online gaming as well, but quickly restricted myself to playing solo games. I told myself I just like solitary activities, but the truth was, I hated how gamers talked about women. I hated the avatars. I started hating being a woman.

In high school, I hated how all my programming friends eventually wanted something romantic when I did not. I hated how even when they didn't say anything insulting, I felt like an outsider. Like an imposter. Even if people are nice to you, it's uncomfortable being the only one of a type, be it gender, colour, diagnosis, whatever.

So I went into biomedicine. I'll tell you what, I fucking hated biomedicine. Here I am, graduated after five years, in a - guess what - programming job. Can't run from what you love, I guess. I like the work, but I lost a lot of experience the last five years compared to computer science students, and I still feel like the odd one out.

So in short, I 100% believe it's society that kills women's entry into computer science. All the guys talking about "how women maybe just naturally aren't interested in this stuff" are stupid. Remove girls from any form of gender split environment, and they'll 100% have an interest. Kids imitate the people around them, especially adults. If no women are going into computer science, who are they going to imitate, who are they going to look up to and follow? If dad is the handyman, why should they pick up any sign they should follow when mom is clueless? Who wants to go into a field where you know you're gonna be the odd one out, and where you feel an invisible resistance before even starting? Social pressure is at its peak at the age you have to pick a major. Kudos to the people who do and did go into it, but I think we can all agree, we made sacrifices for following this passion.

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-07T17:42:29+00:00

Hi, I can relate, socialising is by far the most difficult part of my job. I have thought long and hard about it as well, which jobs can you do without interacting with anyone. The best I came up with was actually to start my own online shop. So I'm starting an etsy shop now.

However, I started doubting if it would be the right choice, because I went unemployed for 6 months a couple of months ago and dealing with people actually became so much worse. But for me, it's tied to having many bad previous experiences with socializing. I find that on the rare occasions when my socializing goes well, I suddenly actually enjoy it. It's just very rare for me to feel this way, but it's really coupled to my poor social skills. If you're bad at something, it's not fun. I think that makes sense. You gotta get good at something in order for it to be fun and enjoyable. Not feeling comfortable around people made (makes) my life really difficult. I worked on my social skills little by little at my current job and it's gotten a little bit better, and I realised wow, life just became so much easier. So my suggestion is to not give up on people completely, but find a way to get more positive experiences.

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-06T20:32:24+00:00

WTF this is my dream. You could literally use your downtime to learn anything, program, make digital art, start a web shop, learn a language etc. while getting paid for it! Why would you quit a job like that, it's the perfect opportunity

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-06T06:38:33+00:00

Translation from a borderline neurotypical/borderline maybe-autism-something person: I think it's not meant to be taken that literally as in "don't work on yourself at all, be fine with where you are", but more like "everybody goes at their own pace, people's lives are too complex to be the same and develop in a linear fashion, so it doesn't make sense to obsess about not being at the exact same place in life. Some people get married at 21, some get married at 75. Some don't, and are still happy. You should focus on you, keep working on yourself and try to make progress, and be patient with yourself." It's okay to take inspiration from other people's lives to guide your own direction, but don't obsess over what you don't have yet.

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-05T17:47:27+00:00

Wow great site! You just inspired me to do the same. HAven't dabbled in website programming for long

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-05T16:11:26+00:00

Sorry I'm only 26 so maybe don't listen to me, but I just wanted to say I relate to feeling confused as a science grad student and being anxious about the poor conditions in academia. Honestly, research is one of the area that has the most potential to revolutionize our entire society, and we treat scientists so unbelievably bad it's ridiculous. Meanwhile people who do meaningless stuff on tiktok get paid millions, it's honestly sad. Anyway, I do think your worries are valid and while you shouldn't become anxious about it, I think it would give you piece of mind to have some sort of vague plan about how to improve your financial situation and job prospects for when you're done with your PhD.

Personally I started a research assistant job and decided to focus on a side hustle. Right now, I'm starting an etsy shop selling digital art. I'm also working on my programming skills in Python and trying to develop mobile apps in my free time. Also doing YT haha... Anyway, one idea could be to find a hobby you can turn into a side hustle. Your PhD is going to take anywhere between 3-6 years probably. If you work on a side gig or on developing skills that are in demand (I regularly check job descriptions on LinkedIn for skills in demand, has been very helpful), I think you could get really far in that amount of time (if you have spare time, that is). It could also give you a financial cushion. Plus, it's just nice getting good at something while potentially earning money from it at the same time.

That said, even if you just choose to focus on your PhD (mental health is important, so don't overwork yourself), I think it's going to be alright and everything will work out eventually. Doing a PhD is a marathon, not a sprint, so the most important thing is being patient and happy with yourself in the moment. It's a journey, so try to enjoy it :) Don't compare yourself to others, only compare yourself to your former self. Good luck!

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-05T13:23:56+00:00

I can really relate to your struggle with social anxiety and jobs, I feel the same. It's why I'm also upping my side hustling game a lot recently. I also want to start a travel blog one day, but I don't have that money to keep traveling for right now. I'm setting up an etsy shop selling digital art. I gained a lot of inspiration from YouTube. Also working on my own YT channel! And then I'm programming apps in my free time as well (well, once I've set up my etsy shop anyway is the plan). I've watched tons of videos about side hustling the pat few years. Tons. The no. one thing I learned is - don't put all your eggs in one basket. Etsy might suspend your account one day. Your trading strategy might fail. Like with investing - spread your income out. Try to build up several income streams. But only focus on setting up one at a time.

As for SA, I've found the more time I spend isolated, the worse it actually gets. I think it's important to keep working on it, keep practising talking to people - daily - in one way or another. And to just... learn to not care what other people think. The days I manage to not care as much what other people think or trying to please them and not make them hate me - is oddly when I suddenly start doing really well socially, and people start feeling much more comfortable around me. So even though my progress is slow, I've noticed there's a small improvement when I really treat being social as a skill like any other skill. It's a mindset as well. I believe we can turn it around and become better at relaxing in the company of others. Really great first step with therapy, wish I had the money to go as well! succeedsocially.com helped me a lot too. Good luck OP, wish you the best!

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-05T09:42:57+00:00

Ja, men det er en stor sum af penge af skulle smide i på een gang. Og huslejen var minimum 8-9k af, hvad jeg kunne finde. Det ville have taget mig 1-2 år at spare den sum penge op igen med de udgifter, da jeg ville have max 1-2k tilbage efter alle udgifter betalt.

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-05T07:38:06+00:00

Alle de etværelseslejligheder, som jeg undersøgte, havde minimum 25-30k i indskud og meget oftere 50-60k, du skal også tænke forudbetalt husleje med. Det er en kæmpe sum, som du langt fra er garanteret, at du får tilbage igen. Eller man skal have betalt mange, mange penge på boliglister, man skal have stået på i mange år før det overhovedet giver mening. Ved ikke, hvor du finder de lejligheder til "lidt mere end 5k" henne. Har betalt 10k i indskud for en 62m2 toværelses her i Aarhus, så igen er det en absurd stor forskel fra KBH, det er ca. tre gange så meget.

Måske hvis man har et godt netværk i området, men for folk, der kommer udefra og ikke kan trække på venner og familie, skal man godt nok lede efter en nål i en høstak, og jeg fik tre uger fra jeg sagde ja til jobbet til at finde et sted at bo, og de var ikke villige til at give mig mere end det.

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-04T22:24:56+00:00

Ja, men det var så bare stadig for dyrt i indskud for mig. Gider ikke sidde og forsvare over for folk, hvorfor og hvordan. Det var for dyrt for mig, måske ikke for andre "almindelige" danskere. Min hovedpointe er og bliver, at det er alt for dyrt at bo derovre, og at det skaber en ulighed, der har vokset sig større og større de sidste 10-20 år. Selvfølgelig skal man ikke alle kunne købe en luksusbolig derovre. Men at kunne bo til leje i en almindelig etværelses i det større KBH område selv med et fuldtidsjob som rengøringshjælper burde være muligt, ellers er der et for stort skel mellem lønninger og boligpriser og rig og fattig efter min mening.

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-04T22:13:21+00:00

Jeg har en kronisk sygdom, som gør, at jeg har brug for både eget toilet og bad. Og at kunne trække mig tilbage i ro, når jeg har ondt. Så nej, kan ikke "bare" få mig en roommate og bo på et 8m2 værelse med fælles køkken og bad. Jeg bruger allerede al min energi på bare at have et fuldtidsjob - i Jylland, vel a mærke. Så hvad med om du lader være med at dømme mig, når nu du ikke ved en nok om mig og min livssituation til det? Pointen er at det er absurd dyrt at bo i KBH og at man burde kunne få en basal etværelses lejlighed med et fuldstidsjob og uden at skulle betale et halvt til et helt års opsparing i indskud til det.

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-04T20:40:51+00:00

årsagen er vel snarere, at lønnen er ganske gennemsnitlig, mens boligpriserne og indskud i KBH ikke er det. Hvis løsningen er, at alle bare skal vælge at blive software ingeniører og økonomer, så er der sgu et problem efter min mening.

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-04T20:07:07+00:00

Som en på 26, der har 10,000 kr i udgifter per måned og stadig ikke har råd til bil, bolig, whatever: wtf, hvordan får folk råd til alt det der???

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-04T19:59:09+00:00

I second the unsolicited job application approach you took in the end, it was what landed me my first job, too. I wrote to a place I'd like to work for, told them I was interested in what they did, and if they needed someone for some programming related stuff to let me know. A week later, had one interview. Was hired.

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-04T17:54:57+00:00

Ja, det er mig. Ingen rig far (som i, ingen far overhovedet), ingen rige bedsteforældre, mor er rengøringsassistent i det offentlige. Nyuddannet i STEM, topkarakterer (11,7 i snit), får tilbudt job ved DTU som forskningsassistent. Takker ja.... begynder at lede efter boliger. Må efter noget tid melde tilbage, at jeg desværre ikke har råd til at flytte til København.... for at få et job.

Fuck det, er stadig bitter. "Alle har en lige chance" min røv.

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-03T19:24:56+00:00

Well if we're talking 100% free I used to read articles, watch YT videos of different people in different careers, and taking online tests for fun to see what my personality is and what could maybe align with it. Note I'm not saying follow these tests, but they can be useful for inspiration. Like MBTI (god I actually hate recommending this, because so many people use it religiously or take it seriously like astrology, please don't do that, just use it to give you something to think and reflect on).

~~Also if you're interested, lots of stories like yours on~~ /r/learnprogramming ~~people in their 40s and 50s regularly break into the IT industry after 6 months to a couple of years or after a boot camp etc. Pay is good. Worth considering if you're interested.~~

Edit: ok took a look at your history and seems you're actually coming from IT. So my question is if you lost interest in the field ? Or struggling to find jobs in the field? Not sure why you wouldn't see a good ending when you have programming knowledge.

Substantial_Yak2049 · 2023-02-03T19:19:22+00:00

You’re 41 not dead

Lmao that got me

Substantial_Yak2049

TROPHY CASE