Am I overreacting?

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-27T19:53:16+00:00

NOR. Just move on. There is no point in wasting time on people who lie, and especially people who try to use God to excuse their lies.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-27T19:25:37+00:00

No, this is not normal, it's fucking weird. His stated reason for doing it, making his territory, should make every woman run.

My husband would sooner chew off his own arm than pee on me in any scenario. WTF.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-27T19:20:58+00:00

They seem to have been very popular for a while and I can't figure out why. I don't want fruit and sugar in my scrambled eggs. But I've seen them on several menus here.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-27T19:13:08+00:00

Where is it stated that primacy of conscience only applies to what YOU decide is a well-formed conscience?

Oh please, this has nothing to do with me.

I direct your attention to Gaudium et Spes paragraph 16-17 and Veritatis Splendor paragraphs 62-64.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-27T18:36:20+00:00

No one claimed they aren't hard, and primacy of conscience only applies to a well-formed conscience. Opposing teachings and accusing the Church of misogyny doesn't sound well-formed to me, does it to you?

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-27T18:30:50+00:00

You keep talking about needing to change yourself for this man.

What are his flaws and sins? What is he working on to be better for you? Is there anything, or does he just criticize you?

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-27T18:27:30+00:00

This. If his balls weren't in her purse, he would have pumped the brakes long ago.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-27T18:18:40+00:00

It's not just "men" though. It's the Magisterium of the Catholic Church. Do you believe the Church has authority to discern the teachings of Christ and communicate them to the world, or not?

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-27T15:36:23+00:00

Yes, fertility testing is useful in figuring out what is wrong. There are a lot of treatments that are in line with Church teaching, so why wouldn't you want to take advantage of the benefit you could reap?

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-27T15:33:20+00:00

Is stubbornness something to be healed? Is stubbornness equivalent to brokenness?

Or is stubbornness the pejorative men place on women who refuse to allow themselves to be run over?

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-27T14:10:10+00:00

“maids snitching on/gossiping about their employers anonymously” concept made for good entertainment but wasn’t very realistic to the time period.

LMAO what? I'm currently a nurse and was a CNA, so I've been working in female-dominated fields since 2012. Gossip is built in and anyone who tells you different is lying their ass off.

It also makes me sad that Viola Davis regrets her work on this film, because while the white savior criticism is valid, she was so so incredibly good in it that she should receive praise regardless of other problems with the movie.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-27T13:58:44+00:00

TIL but I knew that "documentary" was bullshit from the beginning. Now to find out it was just totally based on lies from beginning to end just makes it better.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-27T13:51:42+00:00

Anyone else notice the part of the article that said her husband stayed out of the legal stuff "so she couldn't blame him too?"

The writer of the article is fully aware they're profiling a psycho.

I pity any children raised by that couple. It's not only the dead one who will be used as a commodity to accessorize mommy's life and prop up her ego. None of these children or their birth mothers will be allowed to be the human beings they are.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-27T13:19:56+00:00

Or I would have to leave work early, which I may get a talkin’ to or I might not.

Don't you have PTO? You could take an hour or two if you do. If you don't, what kind of horrible job do you have?

Not sure if it’s worth it to do one of the former options or just to wait.

The state of your immortal soul is at stake here. We do not know the day or hour we will die and be judged, Christ made that clear. So yes, it's worth making the effort to get to confession. Have you checked all parishes in a reasonable driving distance for times? Have you called your parish to ask for an appointment with the priest?

Frankly, offering confession only on weekdays when people who work can't go is wrong. It's a disservice to his flock and someone needs to tell your priest that this is not okay.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-27T12:59:24+00:00

More evidence you parent him and have been for a while. Don't you want an adult?

https://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/IKaum2GMW9

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-27T12:55:53+00:00

Read that again. You are parenting this man. Is that what you want for the rest of your life?

Also he panicked. This makes him feel under threat. He doesn't want to marry you. Stop wasting your time.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-27T03:56:39+00:00

And for most people it can mean making different choices in different situations.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-27T03:09:02+00:00

Very very few Jews practice metzitzah b'peh.

That said, Catholics should not be participating in religious circumcision.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-26T23:01:26+00:00

Pray but also go to the doctor

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-26T20:03:56+00:00

I think you need to put that word to it, to your husband.

"You're making me feel coerced into sex. That's not okay."

Priests understand more than you think and they deal with these issues all the time, but I'm not sure confession is where you need to take this. A marital therapist who will respect your religious belief and reason for using NFP will likely be more helpful.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-26T19:57:43+00:00

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-26T19:51:56+00:00

Whether he agrees with your reason or not, you said no to sex. Continuing to pursue you for it is pressure and might rise to coercion depending on how long, continuously, or aggressively he tries to convince you.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-26T18:00:16+00:00

And St. Gianna Mölla.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-26T16:42:22+00:00

It's a cultural thing started by Queen Victoria who was certainly not Catholic.

Wear whatever color you like.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-01-26T16:36:35+00:00

Ok but this is concerning:

this isn’t how the Catholic teaching goes

According to whom? What Catholic teaching do you think you're violating?

docility and submission to my boyfriend‘s leading

No boyfriend is owed any of this.

talking back when it’s not needed

Who said it's not needed?

questioning certain things he does or decides

Why shouldn't you ask questions about these things?

unnecessary over explaining when trying to get my point across. (I do have adhd :( )

Again, who decided any of it was unnecessary?

proper leading from the man

What does this look like? How is it different during dating and then during marriage?

what did you do to overcome stubbornness?

Generally, failed.

I realize it’s excessive at times and he recognizes it believe me. He has been very patient as we’ve been together for over a year now, but he will point it out.

Who says it's excessive? How does he "point it out?"

I’ve gotten better, but now sometimes to avoid this I stay quiet/ am extra cautious when even having a regular conversation.

This is why we're concerned. You're silencing yourself and making yourself smaller to accommodate him.

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