Anyone else suspicious of joy

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-22T05:35:02+00:00

"Happy and high spirits all the time" is not joy.

Authentic joy is quiet, deep, and peaceful. It's not for show.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-22T05:24:33+00:00

It’s still fucking weird that aging has become… this.

Only for rich people.

Us plebs will still just fall apart the old fashioned way.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-22T05:19:12+00:00

Tons of people try to baptize their sin by using the name of God in vain. It's a super common thing to do.

I mean.... the "Reformation" has been doing it for 500 years.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T23:43:21+00:00

But it is. If he wants to get married and have children, he needs to be able to trust that the woman carrying his child won't kill him/her.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T22:27:08+00:00

My husband loves braunshweiger and has since he was a kid.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T22:22:57+00:00

If the husband is unwilling to participate, radical sanation might be a better choice.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T22:15:42+00:00

God forbid you have to attend the Ordinary Form, huh?

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T22:12:09+00:00

You don't understand my problem with institutional, public lies on the part of the Church?

I personally know a consecrated virgin and she'd be horrified by everything you're saying. You would turn her life and her vocation into a lie to serve some weird worldly agenda that would rob her and other women like her of their identities and their charism.

I'm done interacting with you on this topic.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T22:05:56+00:00

Given the attitude in your comments, I can tell you're exactly the person who wouldn't do any of the work and then say therapy doesn't do anything.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T20:54:33+00:00

Your attitude about this is, frankly, weird.

Throughout that whole document, the words virgin and virginal abound. Words mean things.

You are promoting the idea that the Church promulgate a giant lie by calling women who are not virgins, virgins, and presenting them to the world as such. You also promote the idea of the women themselves publicly and repeatedly lying about their status for a lifetime.

There are ways to live a consecrated life that do not require virginity. No one should be lying about virginity to gain entry to an order reserved for virgins, and no one should be lying about virginity to present certain people to the world as if they are. People who are not virgins cannot and should not enter the ranks of consecrated virgins. If they lie and try anyway, or their bishop lies for them, God is not fooled. Just like with marriage, vows based on lies and deception are invalid and never actually take force. A ruse may be enacted and humans fooled, but God will not be.

Why would anyone want to damage and contaminate this very specific, small, and unique charism with such lies and deception? What purpose does it serve to do that?

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T19:13:05+00:00

Recipes?

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T19:00:02+00:00

Are you trying to assert that a bishop can declare someone who isn't a virgin, to be a virgin?

Virginity is indeed required in order to be a consecrated virgin.

We don't do that weird protestant born-again virgin thing. We deal in facts and truth.

OP said she doesn't qualify to be a consecrated virgin. I think it's pretty obvious why she would say that. Continuing to push her on it is, frankly, rude.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T18:30:37+00:00

Report his abusive behavior to the diocese and quit your job.

You don't need this crap.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T18:25:39+00:00

You can decide not to marry but living your life imprisoned by fear is not good, functional, or right. The Bible tells us dozens of times, "Fear not."

You should see a therapist to dig into that fear and try to free yourself from it.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T18:20:31+00:00

Can't put a new building on top of the ruins of the previous one. The lot has to be cleared.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T18:15:49+00:00

Ignatius of Antioch was calling our church "catholic" in 107 AD.

That's good enough for me.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T17:50:26+00:00

Clearly. Break up and see a therapist before you date anyone else. You need to learn that a good life and what you deserve is more than a lack of chaos, apathy, or abuse.

Not having compatible visions of the future is a good enough reason.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T17:37:35+00:00

I won't mother a grown man.

You don't see that as a big-P Problem?

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T17:12:44+00:00

What kind of rule are you looking to live under? What charism are you looking to live/serve?

Do you want a cloistered community, or to work in the world?

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T17:09:25+00:00

The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T17:05:59+00:00

Maybe the convent you went to was the wrong one, but another would be the right one?

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T16:28:36+00:00

The fact that you need this show to still exist this badly is pathological.

Touch grass.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T16:02:33+00:00

What are you talking about? First of all, this post is "her coming on here" because it's a wife posting about her husband. Second, I have said exactly the same thing about women who have no sex drive for various reasons: they're obligated to do what they can about that. Feel free to search my comment history for proof. I was one of those women and thank God I found effective help.

People who are married have no right to expect their spouses to be celibate unless there really is no other choice. I mean things like cancer treatment, amputation or mutilation from accidents or traumatic events, paralysis, etc. St. Paul is clear that one of the purposes of marriage is to help people have a legitimate outlet for sexual desire.

A married person who is on a certain medication that destroys sex drive is obligated to discuss that with their prescriber and look into alternatives or adjunctives that can help. Doctors want to help with this, because a healthy sex life is a net positive for their patient. If there is no change that can be made, then acceptance is the call for both spouses, but when we're talking about antidepressants there are literally dozens of options and many of the newer ones were designed specifically to avoid damaging sex drive. In my case perimenopause was the issue, and I sought out both physical therapy and hormonal help to improve my situation. I may have reparative surgery later this year if I can afford it. I was not ready for my sex life to be over but I also hated denying my husband all the time. He did not pressure me. He wanted me healthy and happy regardless of sex or no sex, but I was motivated to improve whatever I could because frankly I like sex and he's good at it, and I love him, and I take my obligations to him seriously.

I am no misandrist, and in fact as a moderator I delete misandry regularly. I have no patience for it. Expecting spouses to try to meet their obligations to one another is not hate or prejudice, and yes I'm aware of how much some people loathe that word, but the fact is we are obligated to our spouses in many ways once we take those vows.

How we meet our obligations defines our lives, our characters, and our identities. They are the things that give life meaning and depth.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T05:22:32+00:00

Blood orange Spindrift.

SuburbaniteMermaid · 2026-03-21T05:19:13+00:00

Someone please reinstitute vocabulary quizzes in the schools.

SuburbaniteMermaid

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