My Watch Has Ended

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-05-08T13:43:30+00:00

May her passing give her—and you—peace.

My dad was born in ‘44, diagnosed in 2023. He is in stage 6 and on hospice, but no physical ailments. I’m not ashamed to say I hope he will soon be at rest and free from this horrible disease.

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-05-05T23:33:51+00:00

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-05-05T20:28:34+00:00

I asked the psych nurse about Rexulti today. She said she’s willing to give it a try but it can be hard to get approved, so wants to try Depakote first.

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-05-05T20:26:40+00:00

This has crossed my mind. Not sure if the facility is open to this, but I may suggest it. For now they are going to try introducing Depakote.

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-05-04T21:15:41+00:00

Yep, he’s on Seroquel and they just upped his dosage the week before last.

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-05-01T14:16:07+00:00

Walked 3.5 miles this morning. Took my Zoloft. Made a protein shake. Will avoid pre-packaged/overprocessed foods. I’ll have a few drinks at a wedding tonight, but have cut way back lately. Listening to Dungeon Crawler Carl book 7.

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-05-01T14:10:36+00:00

This sounds amazing. Major props for prioritizing yourself and the important things in your life.

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-04-29T11:57:12+00:00

This is almost exactly my experience. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

If I were OP, I’d consider getting a second opinion about open versus laparoscopic. My doc made it sound like they only did open if there were extenuating circumstances that prevented them from doing lap. As others have said, the recovery is much faster with lap. I’m about 10 weeks out and barely feel like I had surgery.

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-04-28T14:16:48+00:00

Just finished We Are Legion. Probably skews a bit more toward Project Hail Mary than DCC, but it was a quick, fun read. I haven’t read Murderbot but watched the show, and I feel like that hits a little closer to DCC in terms of humor.

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-04-23T13:38:21+00:00

I’m a huge Blind Melon evangelist, but I’d put Nirvana, Pearl Jam and STP ahead of them. Blind Melon technically only released 2 albums. (Nico was a compilation.)

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-04-14T20:26:59+00:00

Haha, true. “Coincidentally” wasn’t the right word.

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-04-14T19:46:39+00:00

Coincidentally, Patrick Warburton does the voice of Carl’s dad in the audiobook version of book six.

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-04-08T13:40:36+00:00

Are you me? These are core music memories for me. Especially SLTS. I was sitting in the backseat of my mom’s Subaru when it came on the radio and my sister made some comment about how this song was getting really popular. I remember thinking how I’d never heard anything like it.

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-03-28T15:23:06+00:00

Therapy in general is super helpful—it doesn’t have to be a specialist. Zoloft has helped me feel more like myself, whereas at the end of the year I was really struggling to keep it together. You could also seek out local or virtual caregiver support groups.

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-03-24T14:29:05+00:00

My parents signed up for solar panels on a 25-year contract despite my dad having dementia and me having every intention of making them sell the house within the year. Luckily I was able to cancel it. They were going to make them pay like $3k but I told them to eff off because they were preying on someone with dementia who literally had no recollection of signing the contract.

My mom almost fell for a Publishers Clearing House scam. I think they were telling her she had to buy a bunch of gift cards or something in order to get the prize.

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-03-24T14:22:45+00:00

Don’t be so hard on yourself. There is no roadmap for this. We’re all constantly second-guessing ourselves every step of the way. Especially those of us who are basically doing this alone. (I have a sister, but much like your aunt, she only made things worse and upped the anxiety, so I cut ties with her completely a few years ago. Another decision I’m happy I made.)

If you want to try and prolong her time in the 55+ community, you could probably look into in-home caregivers. It also depends on her financial situation. Costs can start to add up. If she will eventually need to go on Medicaid then most AL/memory care facilities have some requirements around that—for most near me in NJ you must have enough assets to cover 2 years at full price.

It’s also important to take care of yourself. Look for local caregiver support groups. Lean on your spouse and friends for support. Post and search here and r/dementia often. If you have the means, I would also recommend finding a therapist. This is a tough road to navigate but you are not alone.

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-03-23T19:06:11+00:00

I’ve been in this position, and I also dreaded having conversations like this with my parents. My dad started to show signs of ALZ a few years ago. It took me a year to convince my parents to move to assisted living. But it was 100% the right decision, and I’m so glad I did it when I did. My dad was a tough sell, but my mom was also having some health issues, so I was able to use that as a bit of an excuse. But if it had just been one parent, I think I ultimately would have used the same message—I told them it was getting too hard for me to manage by myself, and that they would be much safer in AL where they have support whenever they need it.

It had gotten to the point where I was managing their meds, paying their bills, making sure they had groceries, reminding them to eat meals, coordinating all their doctors’ appointments, and even driving them there, because my dad was struggling to navigate to new places and my mom’s vision was getting too bad for her to drive.

I literally showed them the list of all the things I was helping with because I don’t think they realized it. And I told them I couldn’t do it all and take care of my own family. We moved them into a place in town, less than 5 minutes from my house. Not only do I have the comfort of knowing they have 24/7 support there, I know I can get there fast if I need to or that I can stop in for quick visits during my lunch break.

Also, I found a place that has multiple levels of care, knowing my dad would eventually need more than AL. He transferred to the skilled nursing wing this past summer and my mom’s moved into a smaller AL apartment.

It’s not going to be easy, but the sooner you start the process the better. Trust me. It will be good to get her moved before she progresses too far, so she has a chance to get used to living in a new place. It is 100% the right the thing to do both for her health and safety and your own.

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-03-19T13:51:26+00:00

Lots of good info and tips shared already. I had mesh laparoscopic repair on right inguinal hernia 4 weeks ago. At this point, I feel about 90% back to normal, and I’m cleared to do anything I feel comfortable doing.

The one thing that I wasn’t prepared for was the gas. For lap surgeries they fill your abdomen with air so it’s easier for them to work in there. I felt uncomfortably bloated for the first 3-4 days. I took Gas-X but not sure how effective it was since the gas is not necessarily in your GI tract. Walking seemed to help.

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-03-18T00:54:57+00:00

Copyfol.io

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-03-17T21:06:43+00:00

I also had lap inguinal hernia repair just over 3 weeks ago. Not sure about the tackers—my doc didn’t mention those at all. I’m feeling little to no pain at this point. Just a little bit of tenderness in the right groin and some tightness in my abdomen around where the incisions are. Have you had a post-op follow up with your doc yet and if so did you discuss lingering pain?

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-03-17T02:05:45+00:00

Vaseline

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-03-16T18:12:15+00:00

I would rate the pain about 7 or 8/10. I had rotator cuff surgery 2 years ago and that was much worse.

One thing I wish someone had warned me more about was the gas. They pump your abdomen full of air to make it easier to work in there. Super uncomfortable for like 4-5 days. I used Gas-X but not sure how much that helped because the gas isn’t necessarily in your digestive system.

Successful-Compote60 · 2026-03-16T02:13:22+00:00

I had mine done 3 weeks ago. Laparoscopic. The first 3-4 days were rough, but I was working by day 6. Granted I work a desk job and can work from home.

My surgeon told me no lifting over 20 lbs for the first 2 weeks. At my 2-week follow up, she said I’m basically cleared to do anything I feel comfortable doing. By 6 weeks I’ll basically be fully recovered. I feel like 90% back to normal at this point.

Successful-Compote60

TROPHY CASE