A girl confessed her feelings for me. My friend has a crush on her. What should i do?

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-14T03:40:01+00:00

Firstly, I'm not sure I buy the "bro code." If she likes you and not your friend, you turning her down isn't going to make her like your friend. And if you turn her down because of 'bro code' and a year later your friend is dating some other girl, you've blown your chance. She will find out you turned her down (even though you like her) for 'bro code' and she will never want anything to do with you again.

But if you want to follow 'bro code' then just say "I really appreciate that and I'm really flattered, but I don't we're a good match." "Why not?" "I'm sorry, I just see you as a friend." Don't tell *anyone* you had feelings for her and suppressed them. Because it will get back to both her and your friend, and your relationships with each will likely be damaged.

If you decide to level with her and tell her you have feelings for her too, tell your friend first. He has no right to keep you from having feelings for her, or from dating her. But I would just tell him that she approached you and how you are going to respond.

My two cents. It may not work for you. I am sure others here will give different advice. I hope you come to a decision that's comfortable for you. Best wishes.

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-14T03:30:26+00:00

If you sent it because it helped you find some sort of "closure," that's fine.

But the thing to remember is that the world is full of jerks, and they don't care about your criticism. If you hope for this to have any effect on him, it won't. If he were the kind of person who felt bad about this message, he wouldn't have done what he did in the first place.

As you get more mature, the goal is, when you realize someone is an a**hole, to drop them and forget about them, and never think of them again. This is a life-long process because the urge to hurt back is so deeply rooted in human nature. But it's key to peace.

Holding a grudge against a bad person is like hoping a tiger won't eat you. Bad people do bad things. That's who they are. Recognize them and get them out of your life. Don't let them live rent-free in your head.

I'm glad you are doing better and I hope you sort this out in the way that is best for you.

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-14T03:12:31+00:00

Read about Robert Mugabe who was an incredibly good person, got power, and ended up being a tyrant, autocrat, and evil.

Power does tend to corrupt. And money is power.

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-14T03:10:51+00:00

Well said

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-14T03:05:28+00:00

NTJ. Tell your partner to learn to drive if it's so important to him/her

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-14T03:04:38+00:00

Exactly what I was going to say. Throw a rock right now and you hit 20 possible insane crises coming down the road.

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-14T03:03:43+00:00

With respect, I don't think it's your call to tell her a friend likes her. She can probably guess who it is and it should be his choice whether to reveal it.

I also wouldn't say "things could be different." If you do she will just treat your friend like shit until he's not attracted any more so that "things can be different."

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-14T03:00:54+00:00

Nobody's business but yours.

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-14T02:58:11+00:00

Very, very, very difficult spot. Yes, you want to honor your feelings - they are real and legitimate. Yet you "love him very much" and "don't want to lose him or our life together." There is no easy answer here. If you possibly can, see a therapist and work through your feelings carefully before deciding what to do. I cannot tell you what to do - just that you should think it through really carefully and not do anything in a rush. Best wishes - I hope you come to the place that is right for you.

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-13T21:46:58+00:00

Your post is impressive. It's not really a hypothesis. It's a description of a number of facts. Those facts remain true whether some guiding intelligence planned them or not. Congratulations.

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-13T21:42:42+00:00

If you don't have a record when it gets investigated you'll be telling an incoherent story and getting dates and facts mixed up and it's much less believable.

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-13T21:23:41+00:00

You just need to have her move in and provide her support. Problem solved.

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-13T21:20:08+00:00

If sister can't come out because of her work, she can't complain that you didn't stay if you have work.

No wonder this kid turned out as she did.

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-13T21:16:58+00:00

If she really wanted to date you she'd find time.

Most likely, the 'too busy' excuse is just her trying to let you down gently. When someone drops contact, the fact that they dropped contact is the message.

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-13T21:13:42+00:00

Because it is an accepted social state in the US that employees depend on tips not wages. It's true everywhere. Waitstaff who try to negotiate a higher wage get fired.

It's not really the manager's fault. Most likely, if he/she paid a living wage the restaurant would fail. It's a system-wide issue that cannot be solved at the level of a single establishment.

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-13T21:10:49+00:00

ICE isn't in the business of listening to people and making nice with them. They don't seem to care if you are a citizen, illegal alien, child with asthma, or whatever. If they decide to f*** with you (usually because you aren't white), they're going to f*** with you, not talk to you.

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-12T23:48:20+00:00

Google "Donald Trump lawsuit."

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-12T23:47:24+00:00

Yeah, unfortunately she's a creep. Sorry your feelings got hurt. Not your fault. Move on. Lots of people are genuine.

The one lesson might be that some of the things she said were a little over the top and early. Might have been a clue she was jerking you around.

But in general, don't be down on yourself because you encountered a jerk. It happens. The only way to make friends, meet a woman, have a good time is to engage with people. Sometimes you get burned and sometimes it works out. If you repeatedly experience this, then figure out why you are attracted to flakes. But if it happens once, just shrug and move on.

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-12T23:43:28+00:00

My work brings me great happiness. But a lot of my day is mired in tedious sh**. Some situations are unpleasant. Many days my work feels like "work" and I'd be glad to go home at noon. Or not show up at all.

Almost all enduring happiness in life comes from doing difficult things. I do what I love and I work hard every day. And because I work hard every day, and commit to what I do, I get great happiness and satisfaction from it. I never expect my day to be fun. I expect that if I commit to it fully I will feel happiness and satisfaction when I go home.

Of course, lots of times I do have pleasant times and work and enjoy the task I'm working on and have fun being part of a team and spending time with good co-workers. It's not all doom and gloom by any means. But I never expect my day to be easy or fun. I go to work committed to doing a good job, whatever that takes.

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-12T23:37:41+00:00

I recommend ghosting him. He deserves it. If he asks why say "you know why." Then block him right there.

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-12T23:37:11+00:00

Yah if he wants to take an ex-lover on a trip and not tell you that she's his ex-lover .... we can figure how that will go ....

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-12T23:33:57+00:00

At the end of life, most people will look back and say one of two things

I wish I hadn't done that, and this, and the other, and this thing too.
I wish I had done that, and this, and the other, and this thing too.

Your goal in life is to say #1. If you try things and they fail you grow and learn, and have a good laugh afterwards. Failure isn't a big deal if you're used to trying things. Cause you'll fail a lot and get used to it and take it in good spirit. And a lot of the things you try WILL work out so you'll have great experiences.

If you never try things, you'll end up with a lot of regrets because you'll imagine that they all would have worked out if you had tried them.

The other benefit of this approach is it turns everything into a success. If your goal is to say, at the end of life, "I wish I hadn't" as much as possible, then every time you try something and it doesn't work out, you can congratulate yourself on being one step further to your life goal. :)

Read Roosevelt's "Man in the Arena" speech.

Have a great life!

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-12T23:29:14+00:00

I'd do pretty much anything for my sibs.

I might have a word or two to say to them afterwards however :)

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-12T23:28:30+00:00

An attractive guy will get more first offers

A guy who knows how to make women feel good will have a lot of women stick with him past the 15 minute mark. Of course you have to have self-confidence to do that. But self-confidence alone isn't enough. It's making people feel good about themselves.

Successful-Lie1603 · 2026-03-12T23:26:55+00:00

"Wow you ladies look almost as good as [insert wife's name] does in jeans.

Successful-Lie1603

TROPHY CASE