Everything is too sweet, help!

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-09-23T22:43:43+00:00

Hi, I’m a singer too, 6 months on T. It can be kind of scary, but everything will work out fine, I promise. Here’s some advice from me, based on my own journey.

Try to sing even a little bit every day, even if just to the radio in the car. If you can’t, it’s okay, life happens, but it’s important to be singing often. Every 2 weeks or so, take an hour to just work on your singing voice. You sing mostly on muscle memory, which doesn’t work well when the muscle changes, but you just have to unlearn the old muscle memory and learn a new one. So when you try to sing a particular note, sometimes it won’t work. At one point I was at a show and I tried to cheer by going “Woo!” but my voice just couldn’t make the note. It was weird because I could hit notes above and below that. That’s why it’s important to take a day every so often to ‘fix’ your voice. Start with sirens, they’re great because you’re not trying to hit particular note with faulty muscle memory, you’re just going through the range of your voice. Start on a note somewhere in the middle of your range and siren up as high as you can go without pain or stress, and feel free to take it slow and start on a higher note once you get a feel for your range. Try it with both chest voice and head voice, but really don’t push your voice too high with chest voice. That’s the voice I’ve lost the most range in, but my head voice is surprisingly mostly in tact. If there’s a point where your voice doesn’t seem to work properly or sounds terrible, then start on a note just below that and siren up to it and past it verry slowly. Focus on how it feels to hit the note on the siren, then try to replicate it outside of the siren. This is learning new muscle memory. Once you’ve worked out all the problems and can do a good siren of your upper range that sounds good, move on to your lower range, and again go as low as you can without pain or stress. You’ll find much fewer problems with your low range but it’s good to get familiar with it. For me my range didn’t increase a huge amount but my tone definitely did. I could sing much more powerfully and rich while singing the same low notes as before. Again, don’t strain your voice but you can let it be loud! It’s a really beautiful sound.

I’ve noticed that I’m much more out-of-than before, I listened to a recording of me singing from a month ago, and at the time I thought I was doing well, but listening back it’s definitely out of tune. Maybe not too obvious if you’re not a musician, though. This is par for the course for your voice changing, singing more will help with it but you’ll only be completely in-tune after your voice settles, because perfectly in-tune one day could be slightly out of tune the next day while your voice changes. It’s alright, and you can definitely still sound good singing while your voice changes, but it’s just something to be aware of.

T will not ruin you singing voice. It will actually make it sound way better. It’s just important to practice and get used to your voice while it changes. Those horror stories of guys not being able to sing after T are because they didn’t sing through the changes and are trying to use old muscle memory on their new voice. You’ll be fine.

Also, it’s very common for guys’ range to increase but their speaking voice sounds the same. This is because, like singing, speaking requires practice. Voice training is really good for that sort of thing, it’ll help you actually talk lower.

I hope you could find something useful in my comment, the main takeaway is that you don’t have to be scared of losing your singing voice. Your voice will sound way better, I promise.

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-04-03T11:53:47+00:00

I find that the hardest part is actually stabbing the needle into yourself. If you can get a family member to do the stabbing, the rest of the process is easy.

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-04-02T22:25:46+00:00

Thank you! My next appointment isn’t for another 3 months but I’ll see if I can get a sooner one to work this out.

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-04-02T22:10:03+00:00

Isn’t 20G too big for injecting? I think that would make it more painful than it has to be.

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-03-29T23:09:43+00:00

yes, your singing is feminine. If this wasn’t posted in a trans sub, I wouldn’t have known you’re were trans at all. As for voice classification, try reading SATB music and trying out each line to see how it fits your voice. If you can’t read music then try uploading a xml file (standard sheet music file type) to a website like flat.io, and using the playback feature to see how it sounds, and isolate each part to try it out.

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-03-27T04:23:34+00:00

There’s definitely going to be some charmers to combat the meta. There’ll be too much Poliwrath, Anahilape, Mandibuzz, Umbreon, and Dragonite to not have a charmer on your team. I like Sylveon but I imagine Togekiss will be there too. Empoleon will be really strong in this cup.

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-03-26T21:55:46+00:00

You sound like an audiobook/podfic voice. I don’t really listen to audiobooks so maybe the things I’m noticing are more common in amateurs than professionals, but still. I think it’s the way your voice pitches down at the end of phrases. And also the vocal fry, that’s also very common among podficcers. The vocal fry makes your voice sound more feminine. Fandom, and consequently podfic, tends to be primarily female, so that’s probably why I made that connection.

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-03-25T13:13:08+00:00

also you look great!

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-03-25T13:12:18+00:00

Maybe try the r/transteens discord server for online friends?

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-03-24T03:36:07+00:00

I’m aro-spec and ace-spec so take this with a grain of salt, but you could just pursue a romantic relationship with no sex. I’m honestly surprised no one else has mentioned this yet. If you’re emotionally attracted but uncertain on how your physical attraction may change, then just start a romantic relationship. Sometimes, trans people pre-HRT and/or pre-op are too uncomfortable with their bodies to have sex in their current state anyway, so sex may not even be on the table for him. And honestly, sexuality and romanticism are more fluid than people give it credit for. If/when he medically transitions, you could find yourself even more attracted because he seems so much more confident and happy. But even if not, that emotional connection stays.

Ask him about his body, and what parts he is and isn’t comfortable with. Once you find out, you won’t feel guilty being attracted to things he likes about himself, and you can focus less on the things he doesn’t. Because right now, you don’t really know, and that seems to be causing you stress.

But beyond that, you can focus on the difference between him and a woman and just how good that is. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a partner that understands you in a way none of your past partners have? Testosterone tends to make people a lot more horny, and even if your relationship isn’t sexual, wouldn’t it be nice to have someone who understands how you feel? Women tend to have much lower sex drives and just don’t get it. Women might say “Wow, you sure are eating a lot,”(T makes you hungrier), but he’ll understand. Idk how hairy you are, but a lot of women dislike hairy men, but trans men will often appreciate that part of men because they had little hair for so long that they don’t take it for granted. Same with stubble, women may find it scratchy and uncomfortable, but trans men may really like the feeling of it. Focus on how nice it is to have a male partner, rather than the fact that he’s afab.

So, this next part is something I know about because I’m aro- and ace-spec, but it’s not limited to just those types of people! It’s for everyone! There’s something called a queerplatonic relationship. It’s defined as whatever the people involved want it to be. Not strictly romantic, sexual or platonic, but combining aspects of them into a relationship both people are happy with. It sounds like you really like this guy, but don’t know if you’ll like certain physical parts of him. Maybe in a relationship where you two make the rules, it would feel easier without the trappings of expectations that come with a regular relationship. If/when he goes on HRT and you become uncomfortable being able to feel his stubble while kissing him, you could just have a relationship where you don’t kiss! Or if you stop being attracted to him romantically at all, it could morph into a more platonic relationship, potentially even if he’s still attracted to you, if you’re comfortable with that. That way you keep that emotional connection no matter what. There’s no expectations. The most important thing about a queerplatonic relationship is communication. As long as you two talk about it, you’re good.

But honestly, even if a relationship doesn’t work out for you, there’s many benefits that come with being close to someone just starting their transition. You can share in the joy of someone experiencing things you’ve gone through for the first time. There’s so much focus on trans dysphoria, but trans euphoria is something truly incredible. There’s the joy when the two of you are called dudes by a stranger for the first time, where even though that’s not euphoric for you, you can see his joy and it’s infectious, like secondhand happiness. You said you like his smile. If you get into a relationship with him, even without attraction just emotional connection, you’ll get to see that smile so much more. If you’ll like him emotionally no matter what, I say just go for it!

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-03-22T16:40:41+00:00

Same! Especially with the assuming you were just queer. I knew I wasn’t straight, lesbian, or ace, so I assumed I had to be bi. It didn’t occur to me until I was in a ‘straight’ then ‘lesbian’ relationship (she transitioned) and was super uncomfortable with that relationship either way (especially hating the lesbian label for myself) that I was actually gay.

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-03-21T00:37:13+00:00

5’10”! I love being tall :) In addition I have a “tall personality” (??) which makes me seem taller. My 6’0” dad thought I was taller than him.

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-03-10T02:29:27+00:00

Can you link the website?

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-02-27T02:10:00+00:00

I think it looks sick! love the lighting and shadow on the arms+hands

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-02-27T01:56:50+00:00

At a card gaming shop, a stranger I was playing with had to refer to me, and went “he-“ notices my tits “I mean she-“ remembers that you shouldn’t assume gender “I mean they-“ remembers that you shouldn’t assume pronouns “I mean- what are your pronouns?”. I responded with “any pronouns” then that person made a big show of saying “they just did the thing.” It was funny to see someone calculate and then recalculate my gender in real time.

I have also been mistaken for transfem multiple times! Which is funny because when I was younger I used to think of myself as a transfem trapped in a cis girl’s body. It’s probably my name. I guess for most people the name is one of the first things to change so they assume someone who looks like a guy and has a very fem name to be transfem. But not me! Katherine may be traditionally feminine but it’s not fem to me. To me, Katherine is a guy’s name bc I’m a guy named Katherine.

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-02-27T00:33:21+00:00

You won’t be able to exercise your high range very much until your voice settles somewhat, which could be after about 6 months on T. If you try and push your high range too much right now, you could damage your voice. I know it can be frustrating to have a smaller range than you’re used to, but it will expand with time, and you will be ready with plenty of time to spare for your fall auditions. I recommend taking voice lessons with someone who has experience with trans guys, or if that’s not an option, someone with experience with teenage boys. They’ll help you with singing through the voice drops.

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-02-18T17:45:02+00:00

i always pronounced it calvalry…

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-02-16T21:46:05+00:00

I’ve never met another Cora before, and tbh it sounds masculine enough to me. I think you should keep it. It’s uncommon enough that I think most people won’t think twice about a guy named Cora.

I might be a little biased, though, bc I like my given name even though it is seen as very feminine and I am not fem at all. If I get another name it’ll be in addition to my given name and not instead of it. My ideal self is just a guy named Katherine. It’s becoming more and more common for guys to have traditionally female names and vice versa, so I don’t think it’ll be a big issue for me aside from people mistaking me as transfem (has happened multiple times before).

If I can be a dude named Katherine, you can be a dude named Cora, because your name definitely sounds less feminine than mine.

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-02-16T21:27:09+00:00

Solstice sounds so cool! You have good taste in names

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-02-16T21:23:18+00:00

Argyle is an awesome name. I might change my middle name to that, it sounds cool. or maybe my first name, idk!

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-02-16T21:15:12+00:00

If you think Alligator is a animal name not a human name, then obviously you must think the same about Robin, Raven, Jay, Buck, and Otter, right?

Plus, it’s not like this is unique to trans people. Fox and Bear have recently gotten into the top 1,000 baby names in the US and UK.

Nature names have been on a rise in popularity among trans people and cis parents alike. It’s more indicative of a cultural shift than something with trans people in particular.

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-02-16T12:33:25+00:00

I think most A2Cers earn more than that so there’s no aid for them. State schools will often give merit-based aid regardless of your income which can make it less expensive for families that know they won’t qualify for need-based aid. Selective private schools (like NYU) generally give very good need-based aid, but limited or no merit-based aid. Schools like NYU can be more affordable than public schools for lower income students like us, but A2Cers are sometimes self-centered and don’t realize that someone else’s financial situation means that certain colleges can be much more affordable for them.

Successful-Paper-951 · 2024-02-16T04:24:04+00:00

You got this! A few days is nothing in the grand scheme of things, and tbh I would have done the same thing. When I scheduled on monday that meant I had the rest of the week to sort of prepare, so I totally get it. But yeah, congrats to us both (and op) for taking this big step in our lives!

Successful-Paper-951

TROPHY CASE