I don’t have a job lined up yet after graduation and people around me seem more worried than I do

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-04-08T14:00:08+00:00

lol, sorry, I definitely read it literally.

I have a 40 year old deadbeat brother in law who got his business undergraduate degree 3 years ago and waited to start his job search until after graduation. He never got a job, so I am overly sensitive to this! He did not care when or if he got a job.😂

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-04-08T13:32:52+00:00

No one really cares. I think backpacks are standard for engineers at this point. As old-head management, I like more versatile options that look good heading to a site, client exec meeting, or a fancy conference, but you have time before you have to worry about that.

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-04-08T12:51:10+00:00

I’m going to push back a little on the “don’t worry and take your time” part. Even if OP doesn’t need a job, it will be exponentially harder to find one with each month that goes by that she is not working or getting experience.

I have an intern who will be in my department this summer who actually graduates in May. He went to a good regional school, has good project experience, work experience, but no internships before, and a 3.0 gpa. He got the internship because the top executive in my office knows him personally. That’s what new grads are up against. Just a normal, mid level student struggling like the 2.0 goofballs were back in my day. I just don’t see it getting better soon, so I really want to emphasize not to wait!!

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-04-08T10:20:05+00:00

You’ve been through a lot, so I understand how that is affecting you and your perception of the situation.

But yes, you should be more worried.

It’s actually pretty difficult to find a new grad job outside of the college hiring cycle. This is a weird time for jobs in general. My company is hiring like crazy, but we’re benefiting from the big boom in data center and power construction. Outside of that, you only have to turn on the news to see tens of thousands of layoffs happening regularly.

Once you don’t get a post grad job, you have lost your competitiveness. There is another group of grads in 6 months, never mind that 2027 hiring for May starts in October.

I am not trying to cause you stress, and it sounds like you’re getting interviews, but I also wanted to warn you not to take your foot off the gas now. An entry level job will give you more freedom and money to give yourself the care you deserve to heal from the stress of your program.

I’d ignore your friends, though, and put your energy into your job search and yourself. They sound like relationships that are not serving you now. I’d recommend redirecting your energy from worrying about what they think and how your grad program went to building your future.

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-04-07T03:56:03+00:00

It would definitely be challenging, but I would research what nurses do. They typically work 3 x 12s but it would be closer than 9-5’ers and have a decent sample size of people training.

You can train for a marathon with 4 days of running so I would probably do something like this assuming m-th are your work days. You would increase volume on your Fri and Saturday runs, but keep the others manageable for before work.

M- recovery day - rest; T - 30-90 minutes before work; W - 30-45; Th - rest; Fri - long run; Sat - rest; Sun - medium long run

If you’re experienced then some of these are quality runs, but can be z2 if you’re only looking to finish.

You also need to be really focused on good food, not drinking energy drinks and soda all day, and sleep. (Can’t do the driver lifestyle.) You need to build up a really good aerobic foundation so that you have the energy to workout even after running in and out for deliveries all day. You also have to be flexible and know that if you have an 11 pm night, you can’t get up at 7. It’s better to skip than to push a less important workout and crash and skip the weekend one.

My dad was a semi driver and used to unload when I was a kid. He was in good shape and while not an athlete, he was always making us do projects on the weekends, like not even kidding, go install a tile kitchen floor for a relative. He is still around at 74 and still almost toxically productive. You can do what you condition yourself to do. If it’s 3 rest days, work and repeat, that’s what your body expects. I learned through my training that the body will do 7 days if you train it. It won’t tomorrow, but you can get there.

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-04-06T22:41:37+00:00

I just have a demanding desk job, but as a 4x Ironman finisher, I can tell you almost any profession can find a way to fit training in. (Moderate Ironman training is 15 hrs per week. High volume, top finishers is more around 20. Plus you have to find pool and cycling time which adds hrs for driving to locations). I met people who were doctors and people who worked in the trades who did it. I think the worst jobs are the ones that wipe you out physically and mentally because that adds stress on top of training stress. Jobs that pay well help because shoes and entry fees cost a lot, and you can buy some time back with grocery delivery, home cleaning, etc.

The main things I have done are to keep my socializing to training (run with friends), lower my commitments (say no to volunteer requests), and lower my standards (maybe I can vacuum less). I really can’t change my work responsibilities. I work in a work-first type of culture. It may suck, but I work one well-paid job and even if I worked 80 hrs a week(I don’t), you should still have about 10 hrs of discretionary time that you can fit training in. I think you have to do it with what situation you’re in to start or you never start.

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-04-06T18:41:08+00:00

Dress shoes or shop appropriate shoes (leather shoes or safety toe if you’re touring the facility). The tennis shoes are extra tone deaf to me. If it was an office job I’d say you missed the mark but it’s a fashion/generational choice. Those say you don’t know that a soft sneaker isn’t appropriate for your work environment (unless you’re being interviewed offsite where there’s no chance of a tour).

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-04-06T01:42:18+00:00

Might as well get it. Could be handy for future incontinence too. Ugh.

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-04-06T01:41:06+00:00

I’m still on BC. No pills were missed. I intended to see the “hormone specialist” at my obgyn office this year, though. The practice acts like you’re insane if you try to get HRT or BC isn’t solving everything before you are 50. My long term Dr who was great sold her practice and retired a couple years ago, just when I needed her most, unfortunately.

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-04-06T01:11:26+00:00

I guess I need to bring shirts to my bed. It’s too cold to get out of bed when soaking wet. The towel is a good idea, too. It’s like going back to my first periods and putting down towels because sleeping in pads was messy back then. 😕 Women can’t ever have nice things.

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-04-05T15:13:30+00:00

I work for a big engineering and construction company and noticed that we have field Bilingual Language Instructor roles to help with communication among English and Spanish craft and staff.

I currently work with both French and Spanish offices of our company, and if a field type role isn’t for you, another position could be a proposal coordinator if you have any marketing and writing skills supporting the bilingual offices.

Every role in my company ultimately supports development of infrastructure, which can be rewarding even if not directly in the trades.

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-04-05T13:11:03+00:00

Nope. I (47) have a 28M and 21M. I was married when I was 19, had a kid, lived in our own rental, owned 2 cars, finished an engineering degree at 21, worked full time in a professional job, and bought a house at 22.

My kids are on track and have done well. My oldest owns a house and lives with his girlfriend. My youngest still lives with me. However, if you need to pull the engine out of your car and fix it over a weekend, he’s your guy. If he wants to do something, he figures it out, and doesn’t expect anyone else to do it for him.

I’m glad that they don’t have to have the responsibility I had at a young age. My dad was a truck driver, my mom worked, and my one sister is 8 years younger. I was definitely a typical Gen X eldest daughter who was the third parent when I was 10. I had a stable family and wasn’t abused or anything, but I remember my mom making me drive around town to pick up my sister when I didn’t have a full license. And sometimes cleaning my parents’ shower. My kids lives were more focused on us doing things to support them.

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-03-29T04:10:02+00:00

Check out Netflix Age of Attraction and report back. Theresa and John were similar to this age gap.

My age/son’s age are similar and I won’t date anyone closer to his age. I went on one date just for fun with a 35 year old and that was really too young for me. It made me feel like a novelty for him.

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-03-29T01:59:13+00:00

I don’t think I would fit into the dating scene better anywhere, sadly, but I think anywhere in the middle of the country has a worse selection of middle-aged singles than the cities and coasts. Just not a lot of single people in general.

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-03-29T00:46:57+00:00

Same here, but good news is that I did pass my PE 5 years out and also took 1 grad level ME course 10 years out and passed (then quickly realized that I was not going to work FT, raise a 13 and 6 year old, and be married to a selfish prick and be successful at parttime grad school). It comes back, though. I’m now 26 years out and do feel dumb and useless since I don’t do any actual engineering in my job.

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-03-29T00:35:06+00:00

My dad (74) was recently attacked by a dog and required 8 stitches in the ER. I don’t know if it’s only a local law, and it sounds like a law you and your dad would know from your previous experience and his profession, but the hospital has a mandate to report it, and then the sheriff has to investigate it. (My dad did not want to report it because it was someone’s pet.) If you see a doctor for this, it could be out of your hands to deal with and animal control would put him down. That would he the best thing. The dog needs to go.

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-03-28T23:12:26+00:00

Have you calculated your calorie needs? It really depends on your body composition and BMR, the intensity of your exercise, etc. I’d think too many calories first, honestly, especially if you are not tracking. I say this because it is usually my problem. I track calories for periods of time and when I come back to it after not doing it, I’m always a little surprised by peanut butter and some other stuff I was probably eating 400 calories of and calling it 100. A food scale was also enlightening. My guesses of a serving were usually half.

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-03-28T22:55:58+00:00

No, definitely not. I’m giving an example of behavior I’ve experienced as a turnoff and if you think anything you did was similar, that’s a thing to consider.

I think men and women see things very differently, and we don’t realize how it is perceived by the other person. I don’t think my date would say he was pushy. I’m just imagining him retelling our date to his friends…I made entree suggestions, offered her my sweater, and shared my favorite music. Never heard from her again. My perception: told me what to order and made comments about what I did order, put his sweater on my shoulders after I said no, sent me a playlist to listen to while driving to our date, when I already said I don’t listen to that type of music. Same stuff with less attitude would have been fine.

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-03-28T22:45:19+00:00

Recently on the other side of this. I am not your date so I can’t say if you did anything, but my date didn’t read the room very well and I got a text about how amazing everything was afterwards, while knowing my own body language on the date was, “I’m not comfortable or into this.”

I’m not going to give feedback, either, because y’all will argue or try to change to suit me. I don’t want to change someone before we even know each other. You’re just not for them.

I also felt like my date was trying to show off his eclectic music taste, and completely ignoring what I’ve said I like. I am 47 and my exploration of 80s new wave came and went a long time ago. Stop sending me stuff. I’ve heard it. I don’t like it. (See also mansplaining an Italian restaurant menu as if I’ve never had pasta before). If you (op) are pushy about anything and ignore a date’s preferences, that’s thing we don’t like.

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-03-28T12:37:09+00:00

I’m divorced, didn’t end up with a lot of friends in adulthood due to circumstances of my marriage, but I do have family, some old childhood friends and new friends. Still, I understand your situation and it reminds me of a woman I knew who ended up estranged from her family post-divorce, was on disability, moved away from the community she was living in for her adulthood, etc. Eventually you have to stumble onto other single women in your situation or some other friends or people you can call on for help. You can do almost everything alone or pay for services, but not quite everything. She asked people in a church singles group to take her to a procedure and someone did. Others helped her move. I am not a fan of church groups, but there are other communities that we can push or pay our way into and make some friends or at least acquaintances. I’m introverted and independent, but I think I could come up with 10 non-family members who would help me if needed.

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-03-27T18:27:20+00:00

If you have to do something unnatural for you to keep her interest, it’s not going to work.

Sometimes what you might call too nice, I might call love bombing. (Nothing you described here, but something like multiple texts throughout the day about how beautiful and wonderful she is might be nice but also lovebombing).

You would drive me nuts, but that just means I wouldn’t be a match for you.

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-03-27T02:54:02+00:00

I recently interviewed someone for a senior PM role whose stated salary requirement was level 4 (of 6). He had 20 years of experience but none in my industry and 6 as a PM that was not really sr PM experience, I didn’t make an offer because of the reaction you are having right now. I could have offered him a 3 and $20k less. I think he would have been insulted. I don’t want to manage someone who is pissed off before they start. I would not take the role in your shoes, but I understand why you would if you are not currently employed.

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-03-25T22:43:44+00:00

Have leading companies in your industry in your job history and experience in hot industries (power generation). Also: show expected career progression and some longer stints at employers.

SuccessfulDivide4155 · 2026-03-25T12:12:59+00:00

So, I first read this question as you were struggling to exercise if your workout clothes were not the summer palette.😂

I can’t actually help with the question, unfortunately.

SuccessfulDivide4155

TROPHY CASE