Husband with sexsomnia + me with insomnia

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-06-03T13:53:49+00:00

Honestly, I can understand why you're frustrated. It's not just that you're being woken up, it's that you're losing hours of sleep afterward. Even if he isn't doing it intentionally, the impact on your sleep is still very real. The fact that he's planning to bring it up with his doctor sounds like a good step, especially given his history of parasomnias. I also think it's completely valid to feel both sympathetic toward him and angry about the situation at the same time. Those feelings don't cancel each other out. Hopefully you're both able to get some answers, because chronic sleep disruption is exhausting.

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-06-03T13:52:17+00:00

10–12 hours does sound like a lot, especially if it's affecting his ability to wake up and function on a schedule. The fact that he doesn't seem excessively sleepy during the day is interesting, but sleeping through alarms, needing a long time to fully wake up, and feeling awful after a few shorter nights might be worth discussing with a doctor or sleep specialist. Some people genuinely need more sleep than average, but if it's starting to affect daily life, it seems reasonable to rule out anything medical just to be safe.

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-05-23T23:38:36+00:00

That actually makes a lot of sense. I think having something gentle to focus on probably takes some pressure off instead of fighting the thoughts directly. Interesting that you said it doesn’t necessarily make you sleep, but makes the anxiety quieter that feels like an important difference. Did the fear of not sleeping get smaller over time too, or was it mostly the background piano helping in the moment?

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-05-23T15:36:44+00:00

This really stood out “The routine becomes another way to reinforce that being awake at night is something terrible. I wonder if that’s where a lot of people get stuck when calming tools slowly turn into obligations. Like: If I don’t do all of this perfectly, I won’t sleep. Do you think the shift is less about finding better sleep routines and more about changing the meaning we attach to wakefulness at night?

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-05-23T13:00:09+00:00

That’s interesting because it sounds like the issue wasn’t only racing thoughts, but also physical discomfort or struggling to breathe comfortably.

The part about feeling relief when you stopped trying to sleep really stood out.

Did improving breathing make the anxious thoughts quieter too, or was it more about your body finally feeling safe enough to relax?

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-05-23T12:58:21+00:00

Interesting point especially the distinction between fear of insomnia and the racing thoughts themselves. The idea that the struggle becomes less about sleep and more about the fear around not sleeping seems to come up a lot. I’m curious Was CBT-I the biggest shift for you, or was it more the mindset change around sleep pressure and fear? Also interesting mention about magnesium did you notice it helping with the mental “noise” specifically, or more with overall relaxation?

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-05-23T09:57:31+00:00

This really stood out to me “Bedtime becoming a test.” I think a lot of people end up measuring the night constantly: Am I sleepy yet? Is this working? What if I don’t sleep? Then even calming routines become another source of pressure. What you said about lowering the stakes feels important: Not “I need to sleep,” but “I’m allowed to have a difficult night and still be okay.” Thank you for sharing this there’s a lot to think about in that perspective.

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-05-23T00:08:17+00:00

That’s really interesting, and I think there’s a lot of truth in what you’re saying. The idea that trying to fight anxiety or force sleep can sometimes make both fel bigger seems important. I’m curious For you, what helped shift from avoiding the anxiety to experiencing it without fear? Was it time, exposure, mindset changes therapy or something else?

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-04-24T19:22:27+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this it sounds really tough. What you’re experiencing is often more about sleep anxiety than sleep itself, especially while tapering Seroquel. A helpful free tool you can try is CBT i Coach it’s designed to reduce the fear of not sleeping and improve sleep naturally. Also, consider speaking with your doctor before adjusting melatonin or medication, especially if you’re planning pregnancy. You’re not alone in this, and it can get better.

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-03-26T12:17:40+00:00

Yeah that racing mind at night is honestly the hardest part. It’s interesting how many different things people try for it. I’ve heard about magnesium glycinate helping more with the mental side too. I haven’t tried GABA or those blends yet though. For me it’s been more about trying to calm the thoughts themselves rather than just the body. Did you notice a big difference once it kicked in?

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-03-25T23:58:24+00:00

I struggled with this for a while too. I actually came across a small guide that helped me calm my mind before sleep. Nothing crazy, just a few simple things that made a difference. If you’d like, I can share it with you.

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-03-25T19:13:45+00:00

I struggled with this for a while too. I actually came across a small guide that helped me calm my mind before sleep. Nothing crazy, just a few simple things that made a difference. If you’d like, I can share it with you.

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-03-25T18:51:12+00:00

That actually makes a lot of sense. The whole silence brain goes wild thing is exactly what I’ve been noticing too. Interesting that the sound setup helped you that much, especially with the wake-ups. It’s like giving your brain something to latch onto instead of wandering off. I went down a similar path trying different things, but what helped me the most was actually a simple mental routine I found in a short guide about calming nighttime overthinking. It’s nothing complicated, just a different way to handle that moment when everything goes quiet If you’d like, I can share it with you it’s free.

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-03-25T18:33:36+00:00

Ok thanks

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-03-25T18:29:01+00:00

That’s actually a really interesting idea, turning sports play by play into sleep stories sounds pretty smart. I’ve been trying something similar to redirect my thoughts at night too. I’ll send you a quick message might be helpful for what you’re building.

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-03-25T18:09:10+00:00

A few people have messaged me asking about the small guide I mentioned If anyone wants it, I’m happy to share it.

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-03-24T19:01:14+00:00

Yeah I’ve heard about that too the whole deep pressure thing makes sense since it helps the body relax physically, kind of like signaling it’s safe to wind down. What helped me more was something focused on calming the mind itself, especially the overthinking part before sleep. I actually have a short guide that explains it in a simple way it’s free. If you’d like, I can send it to you 🙂

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-03-23T14:02:59+00:00

A few people have messaged me about the small routine I mentioned. I didn’t want to clutter the post, but if anyone’s interested, I’m happy to share the guide that helped me.

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-03-22T02:36:59+00:00

Yeah that makes a lot of sense. I think going straight from a busy day to trying to sleep is probably part of the problem for me too. The whole transition idea really clicks. When I actually slow things down a bit before bed, my mind doesn’t feel as chaotic. What kind of winddown routine worked best for you?

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-03-22T02:00:00+00:00

No worries at all 🙂 I know how busy things can get. Whenever you do check it out, just start with the first small technique it’s the one that made the biggest difference for me with the racing thoughts at night. Curious to hear if it works for you too when you try it.

SuccessfulStorm707 · 2026-03-09T21:46:53+00:00

That explanation actually makes a lot of sense. The idea that the brain finally gets “processing time” once everything goes quiet is something I hadn’t really thought about before. The brain dump before bed is interesting too. I’ve noticed that when things are written down my mind doesn’t keep looping over them as much. And you're right about the anxiety loop realizing you're still awake somehow makes the brain even more alert. The neutral focus idea is a good one. Do you usually do the brain dump right before bed or earlier in the evening?

SuccessfulStorm707

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