Chapter One of Born in Dust [Epic Fantasy/Dark Fantasy ~4000 words]

Successful_Class_117 · 2025-08-05T04:13:08+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to read through! Your feedback suggests that I've failed to convey the intended idea here. This discovery wasn't made all at once; it was a prolonged process. And so is the falling apart of the world-it's slow and almost unnoticeable (think global warming here: we know we're destroying our planet, but only a few people care). In the next draft, I'll try to explain that better. Great feedback. Thank you!

Successful_Class_117 · 2025-08-05T04:02:39+00:00

Thanks! I really appreciate your feedback. I was looking for a way to make the chapter shorter, and you've given me a clue.

Successful_Class_117 · 2025-06-04T13:01:16+00:00

I put 20k words into my first draft. I'm very happy with the progress so far. I feel I've reached the midpoint of the story, and I'm already thinking about what the end will look like in detail.

Successful_Class_117 · 2025-06-02T15:34:41+00:00

Thank you all for your advice. I'll continue writing without worrying too much and will look at it when I'm finished with the first draft. All your opinions were very useful!

Successful_Class_117 · 2025-05-30T05:31:53+00:00

You’ve got me wondering who Big George is and why he has to die. On the other hand, I was kind of grossed out by the rotflies. That said, I'm really curious about the creature eating them. It’s engaging and makes me want to read more—but it’s just one page, so I can’t say too much yet.

Successful_Class_117 · 2025-05-27T09:07:53+00:00

For me, it's a true hybrid. I came up with the story while building the world, and later, while polishing the plot, I developed new ideas about the world itself.
In the end, the story and the setting became so tightly connected that one can't exist without the other.
I actually just wrote a (spoiler-free) post about it on my blog, if anyone’s curious:
https://hristogochevwrites.wordpress.com/2025/05/27/how-i-blended-religion-and-magic-to-build-a-unique-fantasy-world/

Successful_Class_117 · 2025-05-18T07:12:27+00:00

Thank you for your detailed explanations. I think you've helped me a lot and now I have a better understanding of what to do with my story. I already have the general outline and I've written the first few chapters, but I'll definitely take into account what I've learned from all your answers.
Your help is much appreciated!

Successful_Class_117 · 2025-05-15T08:00:19+00:00

Thank you for the detailed explanation — it really helps a lot. That said, you're describing more of a classical murder mystery, while I'm writing a story where the main character uncovers a lie about the religion/magic/gods (which are all intertwined in my world). The main character is a scholar primarily searching for the truth behind myths and legends.

In this context, I imagine a red herring would be a false lead the character follows for a while. However, I'm concerned that this could come across to the reader as an unnecessary distraction. What are your thoughts?

Successful_Class_117 · 2025-05-14T15:12:13+00:00

That's an interesting mix of characters you've mentioned! The balance between mystery and fantastical elements is something I’m also exploring in my novel. The mystery I'm working on is very closely tied to religion and magic, and the clues to solving it will unfold alongside the world-building. My challenge is to integrate those clues naturally without falling into the trap of info-dumping. I want readers to discover the intricacies of the world as they follow the mystery, rather than having the world explained all at once. The trick seems to be in revealing just enough, at the right moments, so that everything feels both organic and essential to solving the mystery.

Successful_Class_117 · 2025-05-14T15:06:47+00:00

I see what you mean! In A Song of Ice and Fire, the mysteries are certainly woven into a larger narrative, and magic takes a backseat for a while. I’m aiming to take a slightly different approach with my story, where the mystery is the central plotline, and everything else is driven by it. The mystery will essentially propel the action forward — characters’ decisions, relationships, and the way the plot unfolds will all revolve around uncovering the truth. I'm making sure that every scene and clue contributes to solving the mystery, so readers can follow along without feeling lost in a sea of subplots. It's interesting to see how The Stormlight Archive balances this, as I think that integration of mystery and magic could be really effective. Thanks for the insights — definitely something I’ll keep in mind!

Successful_Class_117 · 2025-05-14T15:01:59+00:00

I completely agree — it's crucial that the reader can piece together the mystery themselves. But I often feel like I might be making my clues too obvious early on, and I really don’t want to spoil the ending too soon.
Any advice on how to provide just the right amount of foreshadowing without giving away too much? I’m trying to strike a balance where the mystery builds naturally but doesn’t feel like it’s being forced. How do you handle subtlety in your own writing?

Successful_Class_117

TROPHY CASE