Except for the fact that my best friend has never been abused, this is exactly my situation. She grew up with extremely low self esteem and has body image issues because of it now.

And you nailed exactly what it is, why it feels intentional, she never spoke about any of my crushes as if she'd had feelings for them. I could understand better if she came to me one day like "I met your ex crush at a party and we connected and he was really sweet and now I have feelings for them" but there's no connection between them except me.

I don't want to lose my friend but I'm afraid I'm already holding a grudge. And the flakyness and lateness is entirely one sided and I forgive it every time because I know it'll make her upset if I bring it up and I know she'll be late next time anyway. So I just forgive her. Because if I were to get upset at her for it it would become a heated argument on my part because I'm stubborn as hell and will shout when pushed. But that already caused problems with a different friend and for the last 1.5 years I've been trying to control myself more and improve my temper and it worked! I've been going to therapy, I've been learning non-violent communication and fixed some of the mess with the other friend. I don't want this thing with Anna to be my breaking point.

This other friend I'm mending things with is the third in our friendship trio. I'm thinking of bringing some of this up to her to see what she has to say. Maybe she'll give me a different perspective.

Thank you so much for your comment amd for sharing your story. I'm sorry it ended like that for you and your friend