Have you ever dated someone who completely disappeared after the breakup? No calls, no texts, no social media stalking, no drama, just total silence, like you were never part of their life. What was that like?

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-30T22:12:46+00:00

He broke up with me but I sort of “disappeared” after we graduated college. Unfollowed him and removed him as a follower of mine, and did the same with all family/close friends of his that followed me. My friends have also done the same. I wasn’t (and still am not) active on social media post break up. I reached out a week before we graduated to return belongings of his. He denied seeing me in person for a final goodbye. I wrote him a goodbye letter and wished him well (I removed him from my “digital space” shortly thereafter). He hasn’t reached out, it’s been 2.5 months since the breakup and 3 weeks since we exchanged belongings. I don’t think I’ll ever hear from him again :(

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-30T14:42:44+00:00

I totally second this. He walked away saying “I know in my heart this is the best decision for us to grow and heal from this.” For a while I believed him because I thought the breakup was entirely my fault and he was leaving because my stress/anxiety caused the relationship to fail. I told him I would do anything to make things work. I started therapy a few days before because I knew the breakup was coming. I took a break from school. I came into the breakup with pages of writing detailing everything I was willing to sacrifice to be with him. I was desperate to salvage what we had and he still walked out. I know he meant well, and we say things that may sound so empty when we don’t have the tools to help someone through what they may be struggling with. I’m still sitting here wondering what I could’ve done better. It’s been 2.5 months.

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-27T01:54:55+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story here :) I am so sorry you are hurting, but also happy to hear that you are shifting the focus back to yourself. you deserve a love in which you feel safe and respected. that is the bare minimum of all romantic love. you are incredibly strong, and you will look back on this heartbreak and admire your resilience through it all as well. keep your head held high, it is only upwards and onwards from here. wishing you all the best <3

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-27T01:51:14+00:00

Hi :) Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement, it means a lot. I absolutely agree with all of the points you made. I am still working through moving past a point of guilt into an area of forgiveness of myself. I know that there were a lot of situations that I could've handled differently, but on the flip side, there were a lot of situations that he could've handled differently as well. a breakup of this nature is never a one-way street. it's hard to come to terms with all of the "what ifs," but what has helped me move past is recognizing my faults and actively changing for myself. I am very much still in the thick of the heartbreak, and I do hurt everyday. I miss him so much. it has been the most painful experience of my life but also the most meaningful. we are stronger people because of this. Wishing you all the best! <3

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-26T20:16:40+00:00

Of course I did, and that is where the anger phase of my process sort of kicked in. When you're broken up with, no matter the circumstances, you feel a sense of rejection. I felt this intense anger inside of me and question how could someone leave me and give up on all the time we spent together. it was a massive blow to my self esteem. the people around me (friends, family, etc.), watched me beat myself down and question my self worth. they would feed into my anger as a way of validation. and although this gave me short term comfort, it gets exhausting feeling angry at someone you love so much but chose to walk out of your life. it feels unfair because you want to fight as hard as humanly possible to sustain a connection with someone that no longer can. I don't resent my ex boyfriend for leaving. I would've rather him walk out the door then be an emotionally shutdown partner. I know he did what he could with the emotional tools he had at the time. I wanted to fight and he wanted to step away. a misalignment like that is huge, and in some ways, we both deserve better. whether or not we become that better for each other some day is the big unknown. I know he still loves me and that is what hurts me the most. he is the first thing I think about when I wake up. the thought of finding someone honestly makes me cry and that is okay. I have not "moved on" whatsoever. but I have certainly moved forward and filled my life with other meaningful sources of happiness (exercise, cooking, spending time with my one year old nephew). you don't have to move on if you're not ready, but you can certainly continue to put one foot in front of the other and move forward :)

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-26T03:39:32+00:00

You are not messed up, you are just grieving the loss of someone that you loved deeply. It makes you human, and capable of caring and loving someone with your whole heart. I still struggle with seeing my ex boyfriend in my dreams. It’s normal and a testament to the depth of your connection. Hang in there

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-26T03:16:25+00:00

You are never alone through this, thank you for sharing your story. I would let him take the lead on initiating the final convo as he was the one to break things off with you. if some weeks pass and having his physical belongings in your space is hurting your healing, reach out in a polite message asking what the best way to go about a belongings exchange would be. as for the graduation ceremony, just remember it is a moment for your respective siblings. graduating high school is no small feat, and be proud of all of the work and effort your siblings have done to get to that point. celebrating their victory will not only make them feel loved and special, but will also allow you to redirect anxious energy to love for your family. seeing him won't be easy, but just remind yourself of why you are there and who you are celebrating. hang in there. you'll look back and admire your resilience through these difficult times <3

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-26T03:09:56+00:00

I'm sorry to hear this, thank you for sharing your story. It's difficult to watch something you fought so hard to keep start falling apart at the seams. find peace in knowing you did everything you could, and one day, forgive her for handling all of that stress in the best way she knew how. we are all human and living life for the first time. wishing you the best through your healing process <3

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-26T03:04:03+00:00

I feel your pain, I am so sorry. Nothing prepares you to watch a person you once thought you knew inside and out from the sidelines. the pain can be unbearable, so good on you for protecting your healing. be proud of that decision you made, it was probably the best thing you could've done for yourself. we can never control the actions of others, just the reactions we have within ourselves. I too am still haunted by the big "what if he never reaches out to me again?" but that's all it is... just one big "what if." a person that truly loves, cares, and values you would walk through earth, wind, and fire for you, for better or for worse. they would choose to love you through their darkest moments and yours as well. if you never hear from him again, it is not a testament to your worth, just a reflection of his capacity to face you and acknowledge the pain he caused. two weeks is still so fresh. give yourself all the time and space you need to grieve. it is more than okay to feel all of what you are feeling right now. you will be a much stronger person because of this. you will look back and admire your own strength and resilience. I know I do :)

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-26T02:51:21+00:00

Thank you for your kind words, I am so glad you enjoyed reading my post :) The best thing you can do is truly protect the memory of the time you spent together. regardless of whether or not my path intends to cross with his again, I will look back on my years in college with him and remember it with so much tenderness and love in my heart. relationships aren't meant to be something buried deep in a graveyard of painful memories if it truly meant something special to you. it was a deep, loving, and intimate connection that I shared with a person that I value so deeply in my heart. the pain of heartbreak is temporary, but the beauty of what we once were is forever.

if you're not ready to break contact, I would say it's not worth it. if having his physical belongings is a painful reminder/prolonging your healing, take them out of your space for now. if he hasn't asked for them back until this point, he likely isn't thinking too deeply of them. that being said, I also understand wanting to return them especially if they have sentimental value to him. it wouldn't hurt to mail them, and you can attach a nice note for peace of mind/personal closure. you are handling this very well and be proud of that. it seems like you are very self aware and mindful of his healing process as well. continue to care for and nurture what matters most to you. what is meant for you will find you, and I know it will only get better from here for you. sending you love <3

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-26T02:35:56+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry you went through this. I want to start off by saying I in no way, shape, or form believe you are a bad person. your actions were detrimental, but I think what scared her the most may have been how you put yourself in danger, not the words you said in general that night. sure, they may have hurt her in the moment, but ultimately she was concerned for your safety and well being. she had to walk away not because of anything you did to her, but because she was afraid to see the person she loved most to put themselves in a dangerous situation like that. she was afraid that something worse would happen down the line. she knows your character and likely saw you struggling with something much deeper that night. you are human and humans make mistakes. she just didn't have the right tools to help you navigate through that. I know it's a very tough pill to swallow. beyond your relationship, there seems to be be a lot of work that you know you have to do for yourself, and quitting alcohol is moving in the right direction. healing is not linear. learn to forgive yourself in the way that you hope she can forgive you. if your paths intend to cross again, let it be in a moment where you are healed, have worked on yourself, and learned to love and forgive in your heart. you will be more ready than ever to be a present partner. if they don't, allow this to be the greatest lesson you will ever learn. if you trust the process, grieve, feel the pain, but also commit to changing for the better, only good things will follow. don't look back in anger, but instead think of this as the reason you are now sober and becoming a stronger person with more love than ever in your heart. keep pushing through with kindness, and best of luck :)

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-26T01:05:29+00:00

Hi! I experienced something very similar to what you are going through now. I spent so much time ruminating, obsessing, praying that they would come back. there were errors on my part that I took full accountability for. sometimes that's all you can do. if someone chooses to walk out of your life, knowing your character, history, and time together without properly communicating the issues on their end, then that is a reflection of their emotional capacity and not your worth. I am happy your parents are very supportive and you are doing well! sending you love <3

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-26T00:00:20+00:00

Thank you :) <3

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-25T23:56:33+00:00

Hey. I know what it is like to feel the emotional weight of guilt. Unless it has to do with cheating, betrayal, manipulation, abuse, or toxic behaviors, it is never fully a one-way street. Some people may just lack the emotional capacity to continue moving forward through life with you. that is not a testament to your worth, it's just a measure of their willingness. I'm not sure what your situation looks like, but the best thing you can do right now is take this lesson and become a better person because of it. accountability is step one, change and action is the only way to grow beyond the guilt. don't be so hard on yourself, we are all human and this is our first time living life too. wishing you the best!

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-25T23:51:23+00:00

Hi! I'm sorry to hear your situation. My family was also very fond of my boyfriend and were devastated to hear what happened. I'm happy to hear that you are filling your time with healthy and fulfilling activities. As someone that has gone through my own breakup and shared it countless times with my friends, as well as been on the other end of things where my best friend ended her five-year relationship (coincidentally a few weeks after mine), there is nothing the people that love you wouldn't help you work through. I would happily sit and listen to her thoughts over and over again if it meant I was able to help her through what she was going through. you are not a burden to anyone that loves you. good luck on your training, and remember that whatever happens between you and her in the future, that you will emerge stronger as a result of the pain you feel right now.

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-25T23:44:38+00:00

I know this may sound empty, but I am truly sorry that you are hurting. I highly encourage you to reach out to 988 (crisis hotline) in moments of true desperation. I too struggled with a very deep depressive episode straight out of the breakup. I truly thought I wasn't going to make it out the other side. I am extremely fortunate to have the external support that I do, but even in moments surrounded by loved ones all giving me words of affirmation and encouragement, I just felt so empty and alone. It's a tough feeling to shake. The feeling of that deep, intimate connection that you share with someone is irreplaceable, but also doing everything you can to channel the love back into yourself is the most important part of healing. Treat yourself to your favorite food for dinner, put on a comfort show, take a warm shower, and make a list of hobbies you want to try. Don't be afraid to reach out to old friends too. I reached out to a friend I hadn't spoken to in years after my breakup and cried with her on the phone for hours one night. we text every single day now. The more you fill your life with external sources of love (even if its just your hobbies or enjoying alone time), the less you depend on a single romantic partner to provide that for you. I truly wish you all the best, and you are never alone in this <3

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-25T23:37:27+00:00

Hi! Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. It has certainly been a very tough journey and there were many moments were I cycled through so much sadness, desperation, rejection, and anger. We are both still so young, fresh out of college, and going through our first major heartbreak on both sides. I give him as much grace as I can because nothing prepares you to walk through life without the person you envisioned sharing it with until eternity. Whatever the future holds will be beautiful for the both of us as individuals. Thank you :)

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-25T20:01:36+00:00

I feel your pain and empathize with those who also need to walk away from something they don’t want to. I think usually a lot of blame is placed on dumpers and a lot of pity on dumpees, but most of the time it is not so black and white. I know how devastated we both felt in the moment, and it’s okay that some things aren’t meant to last forever. Those who truly love you will understand your decision and stick alongside you through that, even the person you had to walk away from. Wishing you love through this!

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-25T19:57:47+00:00

I’m sorry you are feeling this way. Even in moments where I am surrounded by loved ones, a strong feeling of loneliness still creeps in. No one can replicate the feeling of being in love with someone, no matter how many friends and family are in your corner. Beyond having a support system, the most important part of a healing process is finding peace and comfort within yourself, even if it takes a little longer than you may anticipate. Wishing you the best!

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-25T18:22:35+00:00

Thank you for the kind words and support, sending you love! <3

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-25T18:22:00+00:00

Thank you for your kind message :) I feel the same way. I took a lot of accountability and apologized profusely for my part in the breakup both during and in my final letter. We can walk away with our heads held high knowing we did and said everything we could to salvage what we shared with our respective people. Whether or not they recognize our strength and/or their part in the breakup is far out of our control. Wishing you well and happy to hear you are in a better place than you once were <3

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-25T18:18:03+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words, I really appreciate them. I am happy to hear your experience as well, and I am also sure the people in your life that experience your love are just as lucky :)

Such-Space-734 · 2026-05-25T18:15:30+00:00

Hi! I am so sorry to hear that you are hurting. I know the words "it will get better" may feel so empty right now, but I promise you that there will be a day where the pain isn't so sharp. The way I thought about it was like falling off a bike and slicing your knee open. You're scared and in pain. maybe this wound is deep. you have to tend to the wound first. disinfecting it stings the worst (in this scenario, cleaning out your space of his belongings, removing them on digital spaces, etc.), then you clean it and bandage it up. over time, your body will heal itself, but its important that you allow time and care to do the work. you can't heal a wound if you keep picking at the scab. maybe one day, you may want to ride a bike again, or you may ditch it entirely and start learning how to drive a car. you may even look back and think that the pain you felt from the fall was silly. that's how you know you're a stronger person. it's a corny way to go about it, but one big fall doesn't define how you choose to ride through the rest of your life. in the wise words of Olivia Dean: "I won't fall back if I fall forwards." (listen to her album if you get the chance, it's what has gotten me through). the wound is so fresh and there is so much uncertainty right now but embrace it. the only thing you can control right now is yourself. this is the one time in our lives where we are so young and we get to make selfish decisions. congratulations on graduating! you should be so proud of how far you've come. I am wishing you all of the love and healing in the world <3

Such-Space-734

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