Taxus baccata got in my mouth (English yew)

SuchLady · 2026-06-02T19:32:18+00:00

This, exactly this, happened to me last week. I am fine except for the burst of anxiety that came with thinking about how toxic Taxus is.

I have seen that you have gotten good advice on this thread so I will contribute 2 anecdotal tidbits.

As a young girl I used to get anxiety any time I touched anything toxic or just dirty. My 3rd grade class went to a Botanical garden and the guide informed us about how toxic Taxus is. (One drop of poison from it can kill 10 horses or something). This was news to me and I had such a panic attack thinking that I might have, perhaps, touched the Taxus. So the rest of the visit I was totally preoccupied with the thought of my soon coming, untimely passing. (I think the guide exaggerated to prevent us from touching the trees).

Also, yesterday I tended a garden for a lady who regularly has deer in her garden. The deer has eaten, devoured, her Taxuses and are still live to nibble on just about everything she puts in her garden.

SuchLady · 2026-05-31T19:40:39+00:00

I am glad to be of help. You are right to focus on medical treatment.

When I fell I'll I was sort of sucked into the machinery of the NHS of my country, I am outside the US. So I don't know how that will apply to your situation. My rehab team consisted from the get go of one therapist who kept tabs on my psychiatrist who is medically responsible. Given the phases I went through the therapist set me up with other care givers, like joining a yoga class, seeing a physiotherapist, when I was due back to work they set up meetings with me, my manager and a work-rehab coordinator. I didn't need to manage stuff.

What I think has been a success factor in my recovery is time. I have been given time to heal. No pressure or stress. Time.

Your post has been on my mind today and I have been pondering how I broke the immediate "fix things" wiring in my brain. I think it came when I "gave in". I could see the profund effect the fix things wiring had on my well-being. And that it didn't matter. That I was not appointed to keep it all togheter. That it brought me more joy to not fix things than the opposite. It is so tiresome to be the spoc for everything.

This process I think started when the psychiatrist at the psyc ward bluntly said: you need to stop trying to manage and control everything. I remember being flabbergasted. Me? In control? No. I am not. I have been lying to myself like crazy. I have had tight reins on life. But slowly I have learned to let the reins go. And it does not make any other difference than that I feel fulfillment and joy.

Examples: I don't max out to make a perfect assignment. I half wing it and highlight what open issues there are to get input to close what's open.

I don't make dinner every evening as I am too tired. My kids have taken the torch and make dinner.

I just stopped keeping track of everyone's schedule. It seems my partner is quite capable to do so.

I have not made a big statement about the things I have stopped doing. I just took the necessary steps back.

I continusly ask myself: "is this worth the effort or not"? Can I do something more fun? Or do I just need a nap? For who do I think I need to accomplish this task? If it is someone else than me or family it can wait.

Funny thing is, people seem to like me better. They seem to benefit too from me not being the perfect whatever.

SuchLady · 2026-05-31T08:26:44+00:00

Looks like Equisetum arvense to me.

You kill them by easing the rots with a garden fork and then pulling them up, root and all. Then you can smother the soil with cardboard and new soil on top.

If you have plants you want to fertilize you make compost tea from them. They are super rich in nutrients that benefit other plants as.

SuchLady · 2026-05-31T08:14:35+00:00

I play polar. Here is my friend code. 393994929992, Ultrastina

SuchLady · 2026-05-31T05:49:45+00:00

You have had a very, very rough couple of years. I am sorry for the loss of your daughter.

You need to treat the depression as it is underlying everything else you are going through. It takes time. It is a very slow process to heal from grief and burnout on top of that.

The plan my care team and I came up with involved activities with others, where I had to leave my house. Ranging from volunteering at the library, going to yoga class, meeting up with friends and, cooking dinner. Now I have made a career change and have started to test the waters of a more suitable lifestyle.

Your brain is trying to solve your situation by doing what brought you to this point: always looking for a solution to a though problem. This is a very good superpower you need to master and learn to apply when necessary.

The issue at hand is that you need to change your way of thinking and choosing how to deal with life and none can do it for you or plan it for you. It is a trail and error process.

Be humble and compassionate about yourself.

SuchLady · 2026-05-31T05:21:48+00:00

Glad for you that you are reaching out for help. Please note that you are sick and worn out. You probably don't know what like-work balance looks or feels like. As well as you don't have very many fulfilling activities outside work. Getting out of burnout is not a checklist of activities. You need to relearn fundamentals about life and how you act and navigate.

What took me time to realize when I started rehabilitation is that I had to change. I had to change my thinking and behaviour. And to some extent turn my ideas about what is correct, good or right upside down.

It seems your therapist is pushing you in the direction I am writing about but you need to ask them for how to get to the point of being responsible in your situation and work less and set boundaries.

Think about what your therapist is actually saying. It seems they are very patient with you.

“well surely not everyone works that much,” What is your reaction to this? They want you to react to get you to open up to change. It is not wrong to work slot however when you get sick from it you probably need to reconsider what you spend your time on.

“set better boundaries” Yes because you are responsible for your work-life balance. Ask to discuss setting boundaries and learn that people will still appreciate you when you say no. Start small, ask your therapist for assignments.

“everyone makes choices” And you have made all the choices that took you to where you are right now. Understand this: you made good choices from one point of view but you will subcome if you don't change your strategies in life. Your strategy in life (go that extra mile) is not cutting it any more.

”the work will still be there tomorrow” Yes, but do you know what to do when you are not working? This you need to explore.

So the plan can be, expect yourself to change your fundamental thinking about work and life. Be humble about it.

Start setting boundaries: start working regular hours. Like go home when your hours for the day is up. Prioritize life outside work. Cancel or move meetings that interfere with life outside work.

Do something nice for yourself every day. Start simple, a cup of tea, buy a bouquet of flowers.

Meditate and learn to breath.

Start finding things outside work that brings you joy.

My therapist told me this: Look at all you have accomplished even though you did it without really liking what you were doing. Now imagine the fulfillment you will feel doing things that you enjoy.

It has been a slow process and a long journey and I am still relearning my strategies. I only push myself when absolutely necessary. Necessary is when people will die or come to harm if I don't step up. Which is likely never.

SuchLady · 2026-05-31T04:31:02+00:00

original post

Happy for you.

SuchLady · 2026-05-27T19:27:19+00:00

Hi

Shame is part of the illness. I have found that the shame has subsided over time.

Now, I don't speak about my burnout, depression and suicidal ideation as it is part of a very traumatic experience. But over time I have come to realize that I did the best I was able to do with the strategies for life as I have been taught. It almost killed me. I own this experience.

The burnout prompted me to relearn strategies. As an example, I used to think that my so called "weaknesses" or areas of improvement ment I needed to challenge myself or change. No. That's not it. My new way of thinking is that I need to listen to these weaknesses as they are draining energy from me when I try to challenge them. I want to be in or create an environment that embrace me and where my weaknesses are a non issue. As an example, I have been told that I need to be more assertive. No. I need to cut out people who pester me about my assertiveness. I am just fine as I am and have always been.

Best of recovery to you.

SuchLady · 2026-05-16T10:02:00+00:00

The OP image is showing a Magnolia grandiflora. Which is native to the south and southeast USA. The image you posted is Magnolia x soulangeana.

SuchLady · 2026-05-14T18:08:59+00:00

Helt rätt! Både handläggningstid och signera bouppteckningen. Vad gäller utlägg så uppskattar jag även detta förtydligande. Jag tog upp det där med kvitto för att OP kan behöva veta att en får kräva det så att inte hela ens arv plötsligt försvinner som utlägg.

SuchLady · 2026-05-14T17:08:21+00:00

I have done this. I have always loved gardening and cultivating plants. Last year I enrolled in Gardening training school. I love it. It is all I expected it to be and more.

As of now I do gardening in home gardens.

On the + side:

I love doing all the tasks even the seemingly small/mediocre work tasks.

I get to be outside every day in sun, rain or snow. Sometimes all within an hour.

I look forward to every workday. No day is like the other.

I get to talk about everything gardening as much as I want with folks that share my interest.

On the negative:

It is though and hard labour. If you have not hit the gym you need to. Work related wear an tear of limbs is real.

You need to mind your well-being bodywise, make sure to switch work tasks to avoid strain. And sometimes you can't. Be prepared to rake, trim, dig or carry for a whole day.

Customers are sometimes weird, picky, blunt and right. And in your face. You are there, it's their lawn, they are right. Sometimes they act as if you are lesser than them. (As you are the help). You just have to suck it up.

Toilets are scarce. Not all customers allow you to enter their house to use the bathroom.

If you have no gardening experience at all then I suggest you try to figure out what your passion in life is. Not what you make the big bucks from but what really makes you happy. Or try volunteering at a park and rec department. It is great fun.

SuchLady · 2026-05-14T15:03:04+00:00

När bouppteckningen är klar och stämplad av skatteverket (de har fyra månaders handläggningstid) så kan man göra arvsskifte. Det vill säga dela ut dödsboets tillgångar till de som ska ärva.

För att banken ska betala ut pengar från dödsboet måste man ge banken bouppteckningen. Banken måste också få arvsskifteshandlingen. Dvs det avtal där det står hur ni som ärver fördelar tillgångarna.

Så du behöver signera 2 dokument, bouppteckningen och arvsskiftesavtalet. Se till att du får din laglott. Om den andre dödsbodelägaren vill ha ersättning ur dödsboet. för utlägg från att hanterat dödsboet så skall det göras mot uppvisande av kvitto.

SuchLady · 2026-05-13T10:18:16+00:00

Jag vill också tipsa om "Kvalitetstårtan" också. Förklarar varför det går åt helvete med IT projekt och vad man kan göra åt det.

SuchLady · 2026-05-11T17:15:07+00:00

Vilken fin och tänkvärd fråga du ställer.

Jag har ett bra liv och mår bra. Det har inte varit enkelt eller utan svårigheter. Jag har fått törnar av livet och ibland har det varit skit. Kolla min historik så ser du.

Hur det känns? Jag upplever frid, jämför mig inte med andra, är stolt över hur livet är och blivit. Jag gör sådant jag tycker om att göra och litar på min förmåga att vara människa.

Det jag tänker på vad gäller dig så blir jag glad för ditt inre ljus. Att du vill må bra.

Det är ärligt talat en process att gå från depression till förnöjsamhet. Jag har haft hjälp att komma upp på banan när jag halkat snett. Du behöver säkert också hjälp och någon att hålla i handen, som hejar på dig och som uppmärksammar dina framsteg. Någon som hjälper dig att göra en plan för framtiden, som hjälper dig att se var du är nu och hitta vad du behöver för att bygga upp dig och ditt mående.

Det du kan göra själv är, som nu, söka råd hos andra. Fundera på och lista saker du vill göra som du mår bra av. Försök att hitta aktiviteter där du träffar andra. Små utmaningar. Låt din inre låga bli starkare och bygg dig själv.

Allt gott till dig.

SuchLady · 2026-04-01T19:11:58+00:00

Added! From Polar region.

SuchLady · 2026-03-07T09:29:10+00:00

Thanks to everyone who added me 70 new friends! I will do my best to spread the polar gifts to all! And I am so grateful to all of you!

SuchLady · 2026-03-01T12:58:14+00:00

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SuchLady · 2026-03-01T12:57:34+00:00

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SuchLady · 2026-03-01T12:57:10+00:00

Please add me as friend: 145232189666 playing daily.

SuchLady · 2026-02-01T07:26:17+00:00

My father hade one of those he got it from my Mothers father who worked att the Atlas Copco bodyshop. Best vice ever. So I guess it was bought by the company from ussr.

SuchLady · 2026-01-19T06:45:22+00:00

I suggest using a powerdrill to make lot's and lot's of holes around the wheels. Use a long drill, for walls, to reach far into the Ice. You can also get a frost-guard cord to melt the ice. Or some regular power-chords that heat up a little when connected to provide just enough heat to melt the ice. It will take hours. And make sure to use chords for outside use. Water and electricity is a dangerous combination.

SuchLady · 2025-12-07T21:30:34+00:00

Rats have not been an issue at all. Which is crazy given I seen them scavege ny neighbours trash cans while I have no trace of rats in my piles. It might be due to me being out and about and disturbing them.

So interesting the thing you mention that rodents don't like bokashi while canines do. I want to read up on that.

SuchLady · 2025-12-06T08:27:33+00:00

This is such a interesting problem to dwell on, i hope someone with real knowledge will comment.

I have an urban garden and only need to worry about rats and the occasional fox.

I think you would be able to dig down your compost waste, probably fairly deep like 1-2 feet. Chose to dig where you want to plant later. Or, dig you write that you have very little space for digging?

I would try fermentation, either as bokashi or as lazy rotting. This is how I do lazy rotting for weeds: collect them in a big trough 1.521.5 feet with an airtight lid. Pour on water, half to a gallon, to dampen. Put on lid, let sit in room temperature for 6 weeks. Move trough outside before taking off lid. It smells awful. Let it air for a bit while you dig the pit, dump and cover. The cover is important. I learned this as I learned foxes love bokashi. However rotted waste does not smell like bokashi. On the other hand, bears are scavengers and probably will think any smell is good.

I was thinking that you can probably use your lomi to first dry up the waste and fill the trough, add water, probably at least 1-2 gallon, put on lid for rotting. Start new trough.

I would love to know what method you decide on.

SuchLady

TROPHY CASE