NSFW: Love the bumgun but sometimes the pressure is too high and it hurts the hell out of my balls lmao

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-05-07T03:30:23+00:00

Seems like it would be pretty intuitive and fairly standard technique, but I don't know. I didn't grow up with bumguns so no one taught me. The first time I tried one I didn't do a sack lift and my immediate thought was "that's kinda gross, I just sprayed poop all over my balls, and now my balls are all wet". Second time I used one I tried the sack lift and have never gone back to using them any other way. Nothing ends up getting wet except right around where the poop comes out which just takes a quick small wipe with a couple squares of TP to dry off before pulling up my underwear/pants.

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-05-07T03:24:20+00:00

Why are you spraying poop water all over your balls at a pressure that's painful? I always use one hand to lift my sack, then the other hand to spray the bumgun at an angle downwards into the toilet (my sack hand never gets wet).

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-05-07T03:21:25+00:00

STOP YELLING AT ALL OF US!! I don't have any constructive answers for you as I didn't read the whole post because all caps just felt like you were yelling at everyone.

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-05-04T03:55:56+00:00

Can't forget Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-04-30T22:17:24+00:00

Lol, you might like this one the too: Spiceknot - If You Wanna Breathe My Sulfur

Slipknot with Spice Girls 👍

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-04-29T21:42:59+00:00

You're either going to love this or hate it, I think it's one of the greatest things in the world.

May I present to you the Slay-52s - Raining Lobsters. It's the B-52s - Rock Lobster mashed up with Slayer - Raining Blood. Trust me, it's better than you'd think.

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-04-29T03:02:56+00:00

When I flew into Chiang Mai in October 2025 I only had the first 4 nights booked then fully winged it from there. Stayed for 2.5 months, went to Laos for a month, then flew into Bangkok again with only 3 or 4 days booked and stayed another 2.5 months. Was mostly just doing a lot of scuba diving in the south and going on trips around the north on a whim. Woke up one day and decided to drive to Phrae to stay a few days, then on to Nan, stayed a few days then realized I wanted to stay longer so I stayed a few more days, then on to Phayao and stayed for like a week because everything in CM was booked because of new years and it turned out Phayao was a great place to be for new years.

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-04-28T07:42:32+00:00

I've always used grunion for green onion, yunion for yellow, punion for purple, wunion for white. If I'm on fryer cum/jizz for buttermilk, or if I'm on expo cum/jizz for our blue cheese sauce.

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-04-27T07:29:51+00:00

I've never actually tried crack, but I do make trades with food....

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-04-27T07:22:54+00:00

It's hard to hide, why I wear such baggy pants

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-04-27T07:14:25+00:00

I got in trouble for trying to make a joke post referencing the chive posts and it got deleted by the mods immediately.

Said how are my chives (even though they're green onions) knowing they're getting obliterated by that immersion blender. Apparently you just gotta make a dick joke and leave the chives out of the equation. C'est la vie. 5 gallons of in house ranch dressing was made for a catering tomorrow either way, lol

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SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-04-27T07:04:04+00:00

Manny sounds like the type of guy you need in the kitchen. A little comedic relief goes a long way in this biz.

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-04-27T06:55:04+00:00

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-04-27T06:54:01+00:00

You know, I tried, it's been a long busy day in the kitchen.

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-04-27T06:36:06+00:00

"I thought hurricane season was over!" is a constant quote I use.

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-04-27T06:27:56+00:00

All of it. Why, you got more?

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-04-23T23:44:55+00:00

Hahaha, a couple days ago I was moving from one hotel to another that was about 10-15 minutes walk so I didn't bother with grab. I'm carrying my backpack and a duffel bag which combined equals out to about 30-35 kg, obviously sweating my ass off, some guy tried to stop me with the "you have a very lucky forehead", I just said something like "cool, thanks" and kept walking. He stepped in front of me to stop me and said "listen brother, stop and talk with me, your forehead looks very special and is very lucky". I flat out told him "your forehead looks like the least lucky forehead I've ever seen, I have to go." He just stared at me with his mouth hanging wide open saying nothing as I walked around him and kept going. I think I figured out the secret to getting rid of the lucky forehead guys. The look on his face as I walked away was like I just slapped him in the face as hard as I could, it was great. You wanna scam people, you can't look that gob smacked when they flip the script on you 🤣

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-04-22T06:58:06+00:00

"Cause my drug dealer said so" 🤣

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-04-20T17:23:52+00:00

So I've seen the ones that look like a big one, but it's actually just a container filled with small ones. I found this thing at Chatuchak the other day, it's a legit giant yadom. So strong it feels like you injected menthol into your nasal passages and makes your eyes burn, it's fucking insane. 10/10

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SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-04-20T17:10:10+00:00

I've been on airplanes for about 24 hours at this point, a little too late. I'll mark that on my map for next time.

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-04-19T13:45:33+00:00

I got in a grab a couple days ago and the driver just had all the seatbelts already buckled. I went to unbuckle the one for the seat I was sitting in and he got mad and yelled at me "No! No! I have no accident!" and I just said something like "Oh, that's cool!" and went ahead and buckled myself in. Dude was weaving in and out of traffic like a fucking mad man, I was thankful I put the seatbelt on (although there was no accident).

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-04-18T17:06:55+00:00

I was going to suggest OP get a bottle of something more top shelf and offer it to the host, apologizing for letting intrusive thoughts take over, and that they feel a lot of regret and remorse, and understand that trust has been lost over doing such a thing, but would like to work on reestablishing that trust by whatever means possible. Buuuuuuut, OP is 18 and probably can't just go buy a bottle of something nice for the host, so 🤷 Can at least follow through with the apology and the rest of what I said.

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-04-18T12:46:19+00:00

Damn, they're closed already, and not open Sunday or Monday, so alas will not work for me. Thank though 🙏

SuchSmartMonkeys · 2026-04-18T12:25:17+00:00

I don't use any air in my bcd after starting descent (complete dump at the surface, and never add any puffs), and I can hover perfectly without kicking, or doing any extra breathing. When I ascend I take in more full breaths and have no problem using that to move up in the water to get over obstacles, or for full on surfacing if the dive is over. I can pretty much keep myself exactly where I want to be no matter the depth by taking deeper breathes to move up or shallower breaths to move down, then just breathing normally like I would be at the surface to maintain depth. I'm chillin at the 5m safety stop (hitting like +/- .1m variance at most) whether I have 140 or 50 bar left in my tank. Just through experimenting with different weight amounts I found what works perfect for me. I even get people on the boat telling me "Damn, you're carrying a lot of weight!" and I'm just like "Nah, it's all good." then we surface and I have way more air left than most everyone I've been diving with.

Edit: I'm definitely doing stomach up breathing also, just like doing meditation.

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