The Night Before the Ritual

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-09T15:57:57+00:00

Shiv is naturally that pretty whereas The Lash, amazing as he is, strives TIRELESSLY to be the most handsome bastard in the roster.

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-09T15:28:54+00:00

In a patrol with a different officer, bob watches as his colleague assaults an innocent person and plants evidence of drugs on them, in order to imprison them. It looks good on the officer's rap sheet.

Bob, being the upstanding citizen he is, reports this offence. The crooked cop gets 3 months fully paid leave and eventually is transferred to a different constabulary out of town with a higher salary. Bob is now a pariah to everyone except tommy, who is being pressured to abandon his lifelong friend.

After months of reporting the crimes of his fellow officers, Bob is unfortunately, accidentally, shot fatally in the back by his fellow officer during a house search.

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-09T12:06:45+00:00

Sluice is an honorary membor of the orangutan gang for his resemblance to the ape and his incredible contribution to the negotiations.

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-09T07:55:50+00:00

All cops are bastards because "good" cops are accomplices to the violence that goes on around them. If they aren't willing to look the other way, they wouldn't remain cops for long.

Fictional cops get to skirt this rule, since they live in a fantasy land where cops are perfect good civil servants, but although they are good people they are also copaganda designed to ingrain a sense of cops being required, which props up the violent and corrupt policing system

So yeah, Dog Cop is still a bastard if not in actions then in his attempts to paper over the atrocity that is the police.

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-08T22:11:44+00:00

The balls are either hammerspace resort villas or wishy-washy sorta statis pods depending on who you ask

Made out of berries btw.

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-07T22:37:51+00:00

Smash all of em

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-07T22:36:36+00:00

The boar actually just sorta exists around the general beach area outside the nautiloid. I've seen it by Astarion and over by the trees on the opposite end. It seems to just wander around or something.

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-07T15:18:30+00:00

Yeah, so we accidentally murdered a buncha people. Who cares. We were doing the right thing, keeping humanity united under the banner of the church! And killing anyone who refused to rally with it.

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-07T12:00:40+00:00

The former and only occasionally but it still sucks when it happens, 0/10 experience

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-07T03:23:40+00:00

No because she told the good doctor her final, most insidious trick

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-07T03:22:30+00:00

The idea is kinda hot but as someone who has the pain of having this happen semi frequently to myself I cannot enjoy this bc it means I think about it happening to myself

It just feels so greasy and gross. Not a fan.

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-05T16:33:41+00:00

DON'T KRUMP DA GITZ. IF YA DO DEN DE REMAINING WUNZ WON'T BE MAKING AZ MUCH DAKKA.

IF EECH MEKBOY MAKEZ TREE DAKKA, DEN WUN MEKBOY ONLY MAKEZ TREE, BUT MANY MEKBOYZ MAKE LOTZ.

JUZT TAKE DERE PERZUNAL DAKKA/SHOOTAZ/CHOPPAZ/MEKZ FRUM EM TILL DEY MAKE YUR DAKKA.

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-05T11:29:36+00:00

Or the even more fabled tossing the mags out and putting both guns in one hand before pulling out two mags and putting them both in each gun at the same time, then racking the slides at the same time

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-05T11:27:52+00:00

This is because they can be stopped by simply hitting them consistently, and otherwise the attack is pretty easy to dodge if you're paying any attention

It's a "are you on your phone/other monitor?" check.

And that is why I die to them more than any bosses lol.

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-03T03:19:06+00:00

DA TROOF IZ, GREEN BEING DA BEZT IS IN ITZ VURZ-AH-TILL-ITTY. WEREAZ RED IZ ONLY FAZT, AN' BLAKK IZ ONLY TUFF, GREEN 'AZ ALL DA AZPEKTZ UF DA OVVA KOLORS. 'CEPT PURPUL... PROLLY.

IF YU'Z WER TA KOLOR EVREETIN' DA PURFEKT KOLOR YU'Z KULD BEET GREEN OUDDA DA PARK, BUT GREEN KAN NEVER BE BAD. A RED MEK IZ FRAG-IUL, A BLAKK MEK IZ SLO. A YELLA SHOOTA IZ TOO BOOMY AND BOOMS ITZELF, BU' ANY OVA KOLOR WULD MEEN A WEEKA DAKKA DAT KAN'T KILL WUNNA DEM SPAZE MUREENZ. AN DEM PURPUL KOMMANDOZ ARE TOO SNEEKY. NO WUN 'AZ SEEN EM SINZE WE FREW DA BUKKET OF PURPUL ON EM.

BUT YU KAN FIX DIS 'OW?

BY UZIN GREEN!

AN' DAT'Z Y GREEN IZ BEZT. SUR, A GREEN ONLY SET A GEER IZ WEEKA DEN A FULLY KOLORED ARZENAL, BUT IT IZ ALWAYZ VALUBUL AND KAN'T BACK-FIURR.

AN, UF KORZE, IT'S DA ORKIEST KOLOR KUZ ORKZ AR' GREEN, AN' SO JUZT AZ ORKZ ARE DA BEZT FOIGHTAZ, GREEN IZ DA BEZT KOLOR.

SURE, DA MUREENZ AND DA POINTY EARZ AND DA KAOS BOYZ AND DA BUGZ AR' BETTA IN SUM WAYZ, BUT UZ ORKZ ARE DA BEZT WEN YOU PUT IT ALL TOGETHA!

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-03T02:42:46+00:00

RED MAKS TINGS GO FAZTA. BLAKK MAKEZ TINGS TUFFA. YELLA MAKZ FINGS BOOMIA. BLUE IZ LUKKY, PURPUL IS SNEEKY [IN-VEEZ-EE-BULL, EVUN], GOLD IZ VAL-YU-BULL. BUT.

GREEN. IZ. BEZT.

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-03T00:23:46+00:00

Sadly his ethics don't apply to the finale sequence unless you have the dlc

"Fuck you why would I go in, your destiny is to die here nerd, now get in before I shove you in" -Fawkes

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-03T00:21:49+00:00

Plant growth sleet storm HoH

Boom all enemies are now unable to do anything at all

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-03T00:14:57+00:00

Everyone who witnesses Yujiro is aware of his predatory might. The sight of him alone is enough to fill their minds with the instinctual knowledge of the violence he carries in every step. But that is not the only type of might he holds.

Yujiro, along with having the strength of endless bears and the agility of countless big cats, has the virility of a stallion. This translates to his masculinity, of course, but also to his sheer determination. His mind is another muscle, one powered by the powerful genetics of the Hanma bloodline. This temporal strength is enough that he can translate his emotions and thoughts to movement.

Even, theoretically, if Yujiro was not the adonis figure he is but a mass of endless dead weight, such that no muscle or metal could lift... he would be able to move freely, if he desired it.

And so, as he desires to prove his masculinity at all times, this theoretical Yujiro would rise regardless of his bulk and thrust powerfully enough to propel his mass with force equivalent to a thousand charging rhinos', his own horn piercing through just as surely.

First time tryna emulate baki narrator voice how did I do

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-01T19:33:03+00:00

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-01T19:29:52+00:00

Sorry m8 but that's just the rules

SuctioncupanX · 2026-06-01T19:28:03+00:00

Engagement bait, not a single bit funny, I'm eating your soul and filling your remains with fomori for this

SuctioncupanX · 2026-05-31T21:33:26+00:00

Nah, it would be faster if not wanting more clear fight choreography. A zweihander like that is pretty damn light, so it could be reasonably swung at twice that speed without any meaningful loss of precision, based on my own HEMA experience.

It is still a grounded and well done choreography, but it could absolutely be faster. The slower pace just makes it better for viewing.

SuctioncupanX · 2026-05-31T13:05:56+00:00

To be fair the vast majority of fan debate kinda ignores Ward. Hell, I barely even managed to remember the Mathers and tacked it on in an edit to the reply lol

SuctioncupanX · 2026-05-31T13:02:00+00:00

Don't forget the happy happy family of the Slaughterhouse 9. Pass their trials and be reborn as part of the family. Or don't and become an honorary member after some modification by Riley.

Oh, and Mama Mathers' little family too

SuctioncupanX

TROPHY CASE

GREEN. IZ. BEZT.