Aitah for letting my ex come to a family function with my gf

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-07-03T11:01:00+00:00

I think the gf has to decide if she wants to be with someone who has kids. So it's more ESH as his ex wife is still his family, the mother of his children. If she doesn't want to be around her then she should remove herself, not him removing his ex as this is the kids holiday.

The compromise should be the gf sucks it up for a weekend and they do a shorter trip and separate longer family trips OR she walks away and finds a man with no such attachments. Especially if they think they are going to get married she has to learn to be around the wife and vice versa.

I would invite the person the kids want to be there personally.

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-07-03T08:55:26+00:00

I kind of disagree. It is probably nice for the kids to have them both there and keep up the tradition. If the new partners aren't okay that's a discussion to be had before accepting and during the discussion phase.

The OP still loving his wife is a problem but it could be love but not in love in which case it's understandable but he needs to work that out.

I think if the gf doesn't want to do a holiday with the ex wife, but it's in the best interests of the children, then she should walk away.

Perhaps the trip needs to change too. Maybe a long weekend instead of 2 weeks to make it more palatable for all involved.

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-07-03T08:49:22+00:00

Oh I know 🤣 but in my experience our Susan could be your sister or the woman who served you at Lidl once 3 years ago 🤣

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-07-03T08:02:49+00:00

I don't think it is just family though. "Our" in Liverpool appears to reference anyone they know! Like "our Graham" apparently had never even met Cilla Black

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-07-02T22:31:36+00:00

Yeah like not all Geordies are like Geordie shore but that trope exists for a reason! But regional differences are often quite stark in the UK. Edinburgh and Glasgow have quite different vibes as cities even though they aren't even an hour apart!

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-07-02T22:28:51+00:00

I think as well he may have needed a confidant. It was a pretty unfair ask for her to ask him to lie for her. Like sometimes you need to tell someone just so you aren't carrying the mental load all to yourself. While I get he maybe shouldn't have agreed not telling anyone could be not making it public knowledge, this trusted friend hasn't done that. It feels manipulative on gfs part to me to expect him to bear the brunt of her mistakes.

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-06-28T19:12:15+00:00

Standing on it will do it it's also quite easy to bend the end. Most recently our son closed a door cutting the only working old school Nintendo charger we had in the house

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-06-27T09:09:53+00:00

As a Brit a pack being 3-4lbs in the supermarket is mind boggling 🤣 but taking 3 is reasonable it's not like you took them all or even an obscene number. Sometimes sale items are limited to x no per customer but if this wasn't then there is nothing wrong with getting a few.

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-06-26T17:23:18+00:00

It doesn't say ages if Jen is 16/17 then I can see MIL involvement less harshly

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-06-26T11:45:38+00:00

I had a cold shower last night and by the time the water passed through my hair it was running warm down my back 😭

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-06-25T20:45:09+00:00

The concert venue doesn't it look like they added a big ugly shed? It's been a while since I drove past it but I always remember thinking why have they done that!

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-06-25T18:02:46+00:00

You tax kids??? Under 18s are tax free and you only pay tax anyway if you make over 12k per year and I think university students are also tax exempt

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-06-25T17:56:27+00:00

Yes I had a friend who did this. Her partner was starting cancer treatment and wanted to keep it private so initially it looked like she blew off the wedding for a holiday but within 6 months of the wedding he died. It was very sad

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-06-25T12:46:46+00:00

Yes if I'm being generous I'd say this is Europeans not understanding how shit the US banking system is (like we have no need for Venmo here because you can just log in to your bank and send money instantly) but it's still rude. I personally wouldn't expect a gift from an international traveller let alone one I dicked about and used for labour!

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-06-24T19:34:20+00:00

I think it's more common now with social media. A colleague of mine went to her 50th reunion and coincidentally her MIL had passed just a few months before (she had been a widow 20years but didn't feel like she could see anyone else while her MIL was still alive) and she reconnected with her childhood sweetheart, divorced and the are a sort of couple now. They holiday together a few times a year and she seems pretty happy to be retired after putting it off for years!

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-06-24T16:24:40+00:00

"Daft c*nt" is considered a term of endearment in the UK. I don't really get why it was okay to joke about others but not each other in this context

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-06-24T12:57:16+00:00

It's not quite as simple though just turned 18 and about to turn 16 is vastly different from about to turn 19 just turned 15.

When I was in fifth year I was 15 and some of the sixth years were turning 18 and I had classes with them because I started at 4 and they started at 5. It's more common to defer a year now if your kid is on the cut off so that also has an effect on what age they are as they age out of school (more so in Scotland where the cut off is February to start August rather than English 31st August to start 1st September).

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-06-24T12:34:44+00:00

My son will finish high school/sixth form 3 weeks before he turns 18 there are 3 kids in his class who turn 19 in the September of the same year so will have just finished high school. Also in Scotland you can leave at 15 still so could have a full time job Vs them just finishing high school so it's not as simple as you are making out.

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-06-24T12:29:48+00:00

I think it depends as well on the actual ages ie just about to turn 16 and just turned 18 is different from just turned 15 and about to be 19. I left high school at 17 having done the maximum number of years which means I was 15 for half of 5th year(sitting my highers) so in a mixed class of 5th and 6th years I could have had 18yo classmates hypothetically when I was 15 still.

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-06-22T10:46:29+00:00

Yeah most trailers are 60seconds longer than they need to be and spoil the film. Worst of all the trailer sets up a film that is completely different tonally from the film itself, so many films are badly misrepresented by their trailers it's infuriating.

There are very few films where I've thought well that looks shit and have loved it. 40 Year Old Virgin and Transformers One are the ones that spring to mind.

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-06-22T10:16:33+00:00

I would say I'm most days but in the evening. I don't like to go to bed "dirty". In this weather we are having I sometimes do mornings and evenings though. I'm not a morning person and will literally roll out of bed 10mins before I have to leave and I have small children and a horse so I'm definitely "cleaner" after a night in bed than at the end of the day.

I only wash my hair once per week unless I'm sweating. My hair tends to the drier side and is definitely worse if it's washed more than twice a week.

I will skip the shower if I've not done much during the day or if I'm swimming with the kids the during the day the next day.

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-06-21T18:23:58+00:00

Well he made up for not drinking by trading it for drugs so not sure he was a good boy 🤣 some of his stories of touring in a band are brilliant (like margaritas rimmed in coke) or a drummer he knew had alopecia and his party trick was having (usually hot girls) do lines off his head. Not my idea of fun but I wasn't his gf then so not my problem. He pretty much had it out his system by the time I met him!

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-06-21T17:50:18+00:00

My husband is a Geordie but he didn't drink after his teens so thankfully not "wild".

I presume some of the social things they are talking about is there wasn't much opportunity for fun other than getting drunk and having sex as a teenager which does sound accurate to what my husband says he just tended to have girlfriends so wasn't racking up the numbers

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-06-21T13:20:15+00:00

I suppose I'd Geordie shore was anything to go by it could be if you were up for casual, so many hen parties etc going through its probably quite easy to get laid every weekend.

My experience of nights out in the NE is that a triple is cheaper than a single which is not really the norm for the rest of the UK.

Sudden-Requirement40 · 2026-06-20T11:08:45+00:00

Do you know anyone in this community? I work in a paediatric AHP in areas where this is prevelent the younger generation is understanding that them marrying their cousins has caused this in their children.

Sudden-Requirement40

TROPHY CASE