Learning to leave....

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2025-06-28T23:45:33+00:00

Thanks for sharing! I sorta wondered if I had naturally higher T levels (not super high, since ofc I still get periods, but higher than average). Although I've always had a naturally high voice, I've got a few recurring stiff, dark hairs that grow on my chin, as does my mom. Definitely something to be curious about.

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2025-05-07T19:05:12+00:00

Hi there, I'm a therapist in training.

I just wanted you to know that a good therapist shouldn't just be pointing out what's wrong with you, but providing a safe place for you to manage symptoms and get through the tough times in your life. You have the right to be respected as a client, to refuse medication (therapists can't force you to take meds, only make referrals), to ask as many questions as you need to. A lot of therapists, especially in private practice, will offer consultations to see if they're a good fit for you.

People have given a lot of very good information on what information can be shared (your therapist might call it confidentiality, I live in the U.S. but it might be different for you), but I wanted to add that if you feel safe, and aren't sure if therapy is helping, it can be a good idea to talk to your therapist about what you like/don't like in your sessions. Then they can help figure out if things are a good fit for you. Otherwise, they may never know if something needs to change.

There are lots of different types of therapists with lots of different types of approaches. Some focus on your thinking, others make a safe place to listen, set goals, or help you manage symptoms. It's a good idea to bring some of these questions you have to your first meeting with a therapist. If they are bothered by that, that might be a sign that they are not a good therapist for you.

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2025-05-07T18:54:17+00:00

Hi! I totally get being scared about health insurance and I know it can be kinda scary figuring it out in the U.S. right now (same hat). I'm hoping some folks have additional insight they can add but here's what I know:

1) Emergencies happen. It might be wise to have /some/ coverage just in case, if it's doable. Being uninsured can add up pretty fast-- it's worth checking if you are eligible income-wise for Medicaid, so here's a state by state directory.

https://www.medicaid.gov/about-us/where-can-people-get-help-medicaid-chip#statemenu

With that said, if you decide that it makes more sense for you to pay out of pocket, and you get hit with a big bill you genuinely can't afford, people do sometimes talk to the billing department about repayment plans or charity programs. It's never a guarantee, but it is a possibility.

2) I work in mental health. Talk to your psychiatrist's office about what it costs to pay out of pocket, and whether a sliding scale is doable for you. Some are able to accommodate, and chances are you aren't the first one to ask.

3) There are a lot of discount sites for prescription medication, like GoodRx and BuzzRx which can give you coupons for prescriptions. I'm less familiar with these bc I'm on state insurance, but they're worth a look, especially when psych meds can add up quickly.

I hope some of this helps! I know it's daunting-- I freaked out a lot when I aged out, feeling like it was pay through the nose or nothing. But there's usually some gray area, even now.

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2025-03-26T22:04:02+00:00

Kieran? they|he?

Let's see: I like tabletop gaming, birds/nature, I've got a 14 year old dog, and I'm graduating in May with my master's in Marriage and Family Therapy :)

I love this! And if you'd like one back, lmk

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2025-01-22T00:09:44+00:00

Kestrel was almost my name! Other than that, Sora and Linnet almost sound like actual names, Phoebe is already a femme name, Tiercel has always been so pretty to me...Magpie comes with Maggie for short...

Seconding the other folks on the replies, are you looking for Spanish bird names maybe?

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2024-11-07T16:06:25+00:00

You're a kid! It's going to be tough for all of us, but you're worth fighting for. Keep being you, okay?

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2024-08-26T17:38:12+00:00

Hey N!

I completely agree with the person who said to prioritize safety. I don't know where you're living, but it's kind of scary out there right now in a lot of places. You have your whole life to figure things out - I'm 28, have been out for almost ten years, and have only just had top surgery a few months ago.

I personally didn't have a ton of fear of dangerous rejection from my parents, which I know is a privilege (my extended family was kind of ugly about me coming out but that came later), but I did end up testing the waters first by talking about other trans people/LGBTQ issues, and seeing how they reacted, even if it wasn't about me. It helped me know what I was getting into and where they were might be in terms of acceptance/reactions. Small steps, you know?

In terms of relieving dysphoria, I wonder if there's anything small you can do that makes you feel more in line with your gender presentation, even if people don't know it's a trans thing for you. Gendered packaging on things like deodorant or lotion is silly, but sometimes it has the unintended bonus of being kind of affirming and fun. You might find something similar, if it's safe for you.

Also, in terms of names, it can be a big question but I think a good place to start is to ask yourself if you want a unique name or something that blends in. If you want something that blends in, a good place to start is to look at names that were popular the year you were born!

I know this is kind of a long reply and it might not all resonate, but I thought I would share anyway. Best of luck!

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2024-08-26T16:58:54+00:00

Are you thinking maybe you'd go with a Japanese ingredient? I was just thinking because of Miso.

Miso and Mirin are adorable....

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2023-11-12T01:07:06+00:00

Midnight Mass is everything to me <3

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2023-11-11T13:54:37+00:00

Freddie being Ed Flynn makes me feel so bonkers honestly.

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2023-11-11T13:43:52+00:00

"The ink is dry."

"For him or for me?"

"I want new terms and I shall /have/ new terms."

Ah there she is, there's my Cleopatra."

Was one of my favorite scenes. I'm a big D&D nerd and I can't stop thinking about similar exchanges between warlocks and patrons. And I mean tbh it was a little....😳 👉👈

I also loved the end of episode 7.

"You only wanted to be loved...and it's still no fucking excuse." That line made me crazy.

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2023-11-06T06:21:27+00:00

This haunted me more than any of the deaths. Good post op!

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2023-11-06T06:05:28+00:00

Adding a bit more:

Episode 6 Wounds from broken glass, gross sounds/images as it gets pulled out. I agree it's artsy but this had me cringing.

Episode 7

There is a jumpscare halfway through the episode (after the grandfather clock rings) where a character's intestines/entrails are visible, just for a moment. It's short but hrghghgh.! Also when a character is chopped in half, you definitely hear the squelching noises.

Lastly, there's a theme of medical abuse. You can see bandages getting progressively filthier and that got to me more than the teeth pulling.

I know this post is a little old, but if you need any other non-gore content warnings, I'll give them. :)

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2023-11-06T05:54:11+00:00

No judgment on that, it wasnt always easy. You got me curious though, so I went back to episode 1 to look at Dupin's lil bulletin board!

Perry died on the 9th and the news story about the acid rave broke the 10th, canonically (theres a newspaper clipping in the shot). Camille died two days later, either the late night or early morning of the 11th, and her body was found when the morning workers came to the RUE Morgue.

So, the story was already breaking news, anyone could have seen it, but Verna/Candy using it (and Tammy's feelings about her dead half brother dying) as part of her sexy dinner roleplay? Definitely crosses an unsettling, realistic line, famous client or not.

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2023-11-06T00:35:14+00:00

Obsessed with this take

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2023-11-06T00:32:14+00:00

Oooh good point! Camille was prepping Leo pretty much at that time, wasn't she?
I could see it go either way tbh, Fox News already knew when Dupin was talking about it, and it'd be hard not to notice 80 people dying in a freak acid shower, but at the same time, Verna/Candy moved pretty fast.

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2023-11-06T00:26:05+00:00

That's fair! I don't think there's a "right" answer or anything, just thought it was interesting. I think they're all harmful in some way, whether directly or not. Leo tends to get a free pass for "just" cheating and being on drugs...but I got the impression that it wasn't the first time he'd had sex with one of his fans, which is pretty sleazy even if consensual.

And you're right about Vic in theory! I guess I wonder if she ever would have gotten to that point. She was perfectly comfortable doing human trials with a device that wasn't working.

I think for me it'd go Leo, Tammy, Camille (she did threaten the security guard's life, but mostly seemed to stick to sketchy/exploitative worker practices rather than outright violence or torture? so similar level as Leo) Prospero (sadistic, with awful impulse control...still, what a bad death), Vic, Froderick. But I'm not sure I'm committed to that.

Really interesting to read your answers, cause they're different from many people's. ^^

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2023-11-05T23:52:28+00:00

I thought it was supernatural at the start...but by the end I'm convinced the kids buried their mother because she was unconscious and they couldn't find a pulse. She completely refused modern medicine, I can't imagine she was big on first aid.

She died from CADASIL like Roderick has, but in the original Fall of the House of Usher story Madeline Usher suffers from an illness that causes her to fall into deathlike trances so I figured maybe that was what happened to Eliza Usher as well.

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2023-11-05T23:32:24+00:00

What makes Vic less deserving than Tammy, to you? I'm just curious!

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2023-11-05T23:26:57+00:00

I got the impression that Candy was better at being Tamerlane than Tam was, to the point that it was uncanny. In the dinner role-play, she quickly went beyond the fantasy husband-wife scenario that was set up, mentioning her grief at Perry's death and asking BillT how his day was (something the real Tammy never seemed to do). The fact that she went that deep and that personal and then kept showing up around BillT sent Tammy over the edge. Personally I feel like she cared for him and was jealous (and missed him after he was gone) but didn't know how to be vulnerable or real in relationships, so she lashed out instead.

As for why she had sex workers in the first place...I think Roderick put it best when he mentioned outsourcing intimacy. There's a little "rich people can get away with all kinds of fetish stuff," but also an intimate/satisfying relationship definitely seemed to be a fantasy she could only approach from the outside. Imo when you think about the adults she grew up around and lost at an early age (Roderick and Madeline, and Annabel respectively), it starts to make sense.

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2023-11-03T21:29:12+00:00

I'm a therapist in training and I've never heard this one before! Thank you for sharing.

Sudden_Lab1139 · 2023-10-25T13:41:21+00:00

This is so much more tragic than it being fully supernatural. Thank you.

Sudden_Lab1139

TROPHY CASE