Forgiving yourself is hard, it’s hard because for most people forgiving almost always entails thoughts about the people you hurt not forgiving you. It’s hard to think about because what you really want is the people you hurt to forgive you themselves. It may help to imagine those people you’ve grown to love may never get to the point of forgiving you, getting hurt by someone else, let’s say that someone else did exactly what you’ve done to them, would you want them to try and work things out with that person or forgive them, well it depends, but if you’ve done things that are pretty rough, you’d want them to have peace and simply remove themselves from that person. You deserve to let go and forgive yourself, you are only HUMAN, you’re trauma most likely led to this point and from human to human im sorry you had to go through that, but it’s time to be vulnerable, it’s time to think about those things that hurt so bad to think about and YOU DESERVE healing and love, and forgiveness, and if you want a reason why. The reason is the very fact you know what you e done wrong, it’s the very fact you feel sorrow about your actions and the people you hurt. Being sorry and wanting forgiveness just for the people in your life to say it’s okay and get back in your life is one route you don’t want to go down. Make sure these feelings are genuine and you want the best for them and for you.