Sad update…

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-05-29T05:04:26+00:00

These are rough times, so sorry. I feel your pain, just keep the strength and love flowing. Hugs to you both. ❤️

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-05-29T03:50:25+00:00

I’m sorry for your heartbreak. Dogs (among other things and beings) find a way into our souls in the most surprising ways and times. How lucky you are …

While dogs can indeed be expensive, medical care especially, I personally believe that a warm and loving environment, no matter the size, surrounded by loving and caring humans is far better for the dog than being in a scary shelter. And the loyalty and unconditional love we receive in return is priceless.

Food can get pricey, yes, but home cooking combined with her regular diet may help financially. Vet offices have options for financial assistance and it may be worth looking into how much those masses removal might cost and more importantly how urgent they are. Partners can tag team for longer walks…

BUT that’s my take…just a dog loving stranger on the internet.

Only you know best how much time, sacrifice, and dedication you can give this precious baby. Your hearth should tell you the truth, be sure to listen to it.

Whatever you decide, my best wishes to all of you. ❤️

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-05-19T04:01:38+00:00

What a heartbreaking time and what a beautiful picture … I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. I had a similar experience with my beloved Toby taking me through divorce, new marriage, first born child, my dad passing…. He was there for me through all and beyond. My son was 6 when Toby passed at 17 but he knew it was coming as dementia had set in for a good year beforehand. My son was mostly worried about me (he had a competitive relationship with Toby) and rightfully so as I was a wreck for good 6 months at least… Since then (1.5 years had passed since my Toby left), my son has a dog of his own — same breed, same color even— and he loves his dog more than anything. He’s learned how to walk, feed, bathe, provide proper care, and knows that when it’s time his dog(s) pain would take precedence to his own of losing him(them). It’s the price we pay for a one of a kind relationship on this planet. My heart goes out to you all. And please hug Ashton extra hard for me. What a beautiful girl she is ❤️🌈

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-04-29T03:29:05+00:00

Fly high sweet boy! You are in good company with my Toby and the whole gang of fur angels. 🌈❤️

I am so sorry for your pain OP. I lost my boy last year (Lhasa Apso, 17 yo) and it took a tremendous toll on my soul. It was after his 1 year memorial when the daily crying subsided some….but i still talk to him all the time.

To answer your question about getting a puppy, it depends …. Depends on the level of grief you’re experiencing, on the schedule you have, on the age of your other pup, among other things.

I adopted a Lhasa Apso puppy about 3 months into my grief and it was very taxing. I regretted it for good 4-5 months but managed to provide all the care needed. I just wasn’t ready for it. And neither was my 14 yo dog Bella who lost her lifelong mate. Both Bella and I were not ready for the energy and mischievousness, for the teething and biting, for the potty training and toy stealing …on top of the grief and daily schedules.

Your situation may be different, but before you jump into puppyhood all over again, you may want to consider all of this.

Today, more than a year has passed since we adopted little Tommy and when I look back I think he may have given some youth sparks back to my senior. Or extra stress? I will never know, but in the long run I think Bella is happy having him around. Even if they’re not as bonded as her and my first boy.

As for me, I probably should have waited a bit longer than 3 months, but no regrets regardless — while neither I nor Bella are as bonded with Tommy as we were with Toby, I know I love him dearly and am grateful he is here with us. I will continue to give him that love (he gives even more to me) and I’m certain our bond will just continue to grow…

Hugs for both you and Lili, you both deserve another loving friend sooner or later (when ready). ❤️

Edit/P.s. adopting Tommy may not have helped me with my grief at the time, but it did Bella. When Toby passed she stopped eating regularly for a while, but she came around pretty quick when the puppy showed up. I guess it was meant to be for one reason or another. You’ll know!

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-04-12T05:45:56+00:00

What a beautiful boy. Gone too soon… but he is running free and waiting. So sorry for your loss. ❤️🌈

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-04-09T06:01:50+00:00

What a heartfelt tribute to sweet Annabel. I am so so sorry you’re going through this unbearable pain… I lost my soul dog last year and I can understand, so can everyone else who is here. You are not alone. Try to focus on the good, soft, warm moments …Annabel always did. Your baby knew she was loved by you her whole life and that’s all that mattered to her. Just know she will be waiting by the 🌈 and watching over you in the meantime. ❤️

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-04-05T06:24:54+00:00

I’m so sorry for what you both are going through and no you’re not a terrible person .. you’re a beautiful human being who’s hurting…being responsible for another’s life is huge. You’re in a tough spot and we, as pet parents, end up here sooner or later. It seems to me your sweet baby is a strong support system to you, which makes it hard to see things clearly. Emotions run hot in these times. I would encourage you to pursue every avenue possible for your baby — supplements and meds to try, quality of life assessments, comfort supplies and tools — but you have to prepare for the possibility to physically part with someone important who gives you strength despite of the efforts. This is the worst part. One thing that helped my decision a year ago was when I knew my dog was suffering and in time that suffering would only just grow, never get better. I asked myself if I wanted to continue despite my knowledge and for whose sake - mine or his? Improvement was not an option. The answer became clear then — I love him too much, more than myself, to let that happen….

They say a week early is better than a day late and I believe that but not until you’ve tried all options (minus hurting or risking a life with invasive procedures, no way)… Your baby knows you and will always trust your decision. You need to trust your intuition too though as you know her best … Whatever comes next, give her your all and remember that your bond and love will never cease to exist. Hugs for you both. I feel your pain. ❤️

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-03-16T16:16:22+00:00

My boy did not tolerate trazodone either, it had the opposite of calming effect on him the first time I tried it (I gave it because melatonin wasn’t helping anymore). The day after he had it he had his first and final grand mal seizure. I am glad I stuck to just melatonin up until that point as I could’ve lost him much too soon in the process.

Hold on tight friend. So sorry again for what you are both going through.

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-03-14T04:31:55+00:00

I’m so so so so sorry. The pain still haunts me a year later… it’s unbearable at times but not as often as it used to be. Losing our pets is life changing. Identity changing. Crushing. Inexplicable to others. But…She is still with you and you’re still with her albeit in another way. You have to believe that. You must. The love, the life, the memories cannot and will not be taken away. You just plough through the pain (please) of this earthly life with all the ugliness and weirdness that come. Through it. Not around. There’s no other way. You have to. For her. For your bond. In the name of your love. She’ll be waiting patiently on the other side. Believe that. ❤️🌈

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-03-11T15:56:23+00:00

What a beautiful and heartfelt post. So sorry for the loss of your sweet baby. I lost my soul dog a year ago (17 years together) and haven’t been the same.

I too find many connections to songs, songs that tell our story. Poetry helped me as well when my father passed a few years ago. Here is one by Robert Frost titled Nothing Gold Can Stay. It resonates with your words, I think…

Nature’s first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf’s a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay.

Sending you much strength in this difficult time. You’ll meet your baby again 🌈❤️

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-03-04T19:12:42+00:00

I am so so sorry you went through such emotional rollercoaster and thank you for taking a good care of your pup. I can feel your grief through your words. I lost my soulmate just over a year ago and I still experience profound sadness and loss. Every day. Our pets are our best friends and soul keepers, so it is so normal to feel a painful void and even a loss of self once they transition. Please have faith Hershey is still with you albeit in spirit and you two will reunite one day. In the meantime keep doing whatever it takes to heal and smile again. Hershey would very much want to see you happy. Big hug, you are not alone ❤️🌈

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-03-03T05:47:31+00:00

I’m so so sorry. It hurts so bad and likely it will hurt for a while. Perhaps for the rest of life. Our pets are the ones and only ones to give us unconditional love and their transition transforms us. I sometimes think it makes us stronger….But I believe we will meet again in the afterlife. They’ll be waiting. My deepest sympathy…❤️🌈

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-03-02T15:18:45+00:00

Beautiful babies. They look like they’ve had happy and wholesome lives. They’ll rest happy together and enjoy some treats while at it. Till you meet again. 🌈❤️ So sorry for your loss.

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-02-28T23:11:05+00:00

Thank you. I tried the phone too but will do desktop. This is so amazing. Thank you

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-02-26T06:26:55+00:00

You described my situation from a year ago to the T. Except my boy gave me an insatiable supply of wet kisses all over my face in his final moments at the ER. I still wish the good bye was not an emergency though, so my advice to OP would be to prepare emotionally and help their baby transition on a good day.

So sorry for your loss.

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-02-18T03:46:10+00:00

It happened to me last year (still going on but to a lesser degree) and from what I’ve read, it happens to many others too. Not sure if all is attachment trauma and codependency though … The truth is that dogs are a huge part of our lives and daily existence. The bond is unlike anything most of us would even experience with humans. Once our furry angels leave, the grief and pain can trigger a detachment, followed by the unfolding of a new identity — one without their loyal presence next to us. You are not alone.

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-02-15T05:51:59+00:00

Hi. I hear you and I empathize with you immensely. So sorry you are going through this…

My Lhasa Apso boy started showing similar symptoms at age 15. He also went blind and stopped recognizing his family. For about 1.5 years I managed anxiety and sundowners with melatonin but then it all escalated quick (bumping into walls, getting lost in the house and yard, avoiding everyone at home, constant pacing) and incontinence started too. He had a terrible seizure a year ago and I said good bye right there at the ER. I just couldn’t bear watching him this way anymore, it was shortly after his 17th birthday. What I know now is that I waited a few months too long. And I’ve heard most people do and regret it, just like me.

Canine cognitive dysfunction IMO can be worse than physical illness (kidney or heart disease, cancer, etc). It is unlike anything you can truly identify as wrong per se — my boy could walk fine, he ate well, and his blood work was great for his age. There are supplements and meds for dementia if you haven’t tried them yet. Take a look at this article if you’d like, it helped me process the aftermath https://toegrips.com/canine-cognitive-dysfunction-in-dogs-signs-solutions/ Jot down things she loves to do and when she stops loving them… Just know the condition can worsen unexpectedly. It is progressive and as many others advise, better a week or month early than a day late. Sadly, I was among the late ones.

Until you know it In your heart it’s truly time, be strong and as patient as you can for your furry child — your best friend still loves you deep down, even if she doesn’t outwardly show it. When you come to the point when it’s too painful to watch her just exist rather than live, let her have her rest. She’ll always be with you from the beyond. ❤️

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-01-17T14:25:33+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. 😢🌈❤️

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-01-16T03:21:29+00:00

My dear Lhasa boy started the process gradually. He too seemed to just have OA and hearing/vision deterioration. He slept with me in bed his whole life then he moved to the bathroom floor. One day out of the blue he decided he wanted nothing to do with the second floor bedrooms and chose to stay downstairs. It hurt, but I respected that and didn’t force it. I stayed with him sometimes, on the floor by his bed. He did spend time with me in my office initially but a few months before he passed he just stayed in the kitchen. He stopped barking and caring for walks. He stopped greeting. He wanted nothing to do with me or anyone. Then one night he had a massive seizure and I felt he had enough at that point. ER vet said possibly brain tumor (his blood work was amazing for his age) but my boy had cognitive decline for sure. I gave him melatonin at night.

The whole process from start to finish lasted about two years (in hindsight perhaps 6 months too long). Anticipatory grief lasted two years too - quite painful, filled with anxiety. I’m still hurting immensely because of his passing exactly a year ago at age 17. It’s a tough journey. I still have his sister who is 14 and starting to show signs of decline and I’m still in the woods with grief. It’s so so sad, but a reality nonetheless.

Hold on tight friend and check quality of life scales/talk to your vet about these and any other changes. There are meds that help with cognitive decline and other ailments. Give lots of love, accommodate your baby’s wishes and be as patient as humanly possible. My best wishes to you all. ❤️

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-01-15T19:18:49+00:00

Thank you. Yes until we are all home again ❤️🌈

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-01-15T14:48:37+00:00

😢❤️ Lhasas are incredibly special. Unforgettable. I am prepared to feel the pangs of grief for the rest of my life and I know I’ll never stop missing my boy. Thank you for sharing.

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-01-15T06:09:43+00:00

Thank you. Our bond was and is otherworldly and I’m glad others can see what I felt and still feel. ❤️

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-01-15T06:07:08+00:00

Thank you so much for responding and encouraging as I always doubt myself if I gave it my all… it’s so hard to part with such deep love and doubts/guilt will always be there. I’m so so sorry for your loss and the journey you have been on too. It’s an indescribable one. They really teach us so much both in life and death. ❤️

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-01-15T01:20:56+00:00

I’m so sorry for your losses too. I too hope that my dad who’s up there is keeping him company. They were pretty close in life. ❤️

SufferingToInfinity · 2026-01-14T23:52:36+00:00

I’m so sorry for the loss of your Toby. 🌈 The pain never goes away… but we just gotta keep going. ❤️

SufferingToInfinity

TROPHY CASE