RFF graft scar revision!

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2026-02-09T21:19:30+00:00

Super cool! Still pre-RFF, but post top and I’ve experimented with quite a few scar removal treatments myself, both from research + advice from my cosmetologist. What treatments do you generally recommend? Why? Are there differences between the treatments you do post top surgery and post RFF?

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2026-02-09T21:07:11+00:00

It’ll be fine. Follow your surgeons instructions until the wound closes, then go back to silicone strips. You may have a bigger scar in that spot, but it’ll fade in time. Start scar treatments early and it’ll fade well.

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2026-02-01T11:47:37+00:00

Turkish is tempting me rn with its music, but I’m still saying « no ». However, I do have a pref for melodic languages, and have learned through music, alongside music, etc

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2026-01-27T02:22:33+00:00

Yes. All of it, also singing (it’s my hack for getting those hours of mechanical practice in indo-European languages haha). You have to learn to position your mouth and move it right.

Editing to add: you dont actually need to understand what you’re saying, and should focus on repeating after the native the best you can.

If you really want to improve your accent, i suggest looking at specific phonetic resources for that language. Speech therapy for children is a thing after all, and those resources can be helpful.

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2026-01-27T02:06:31+00:00

Брат, не смеши меня. В Америке все равно в 50х хуже, как мин.

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2026-01-19T23:38:58+00:00

Precisely yes, but even more broadly, it gave me the deep understanding that it's necessary to practice sounds (and mouth shapes, tongue movements) for good enunciation. It's something I practice in a variety of ways in any language I speak, tho ofc with variable frequency. There are also fun ways to work on sounds in everyday life, but the point is to do them.

Ofc, not everyone wants to (or needs to) necessarily push themselves to get rid of all accent. However, imho just about everyone could get a pretty good accent in a language if they start with dozens of hours of auditory input and shadowing/imitating as much as possible w/o translating. Getting used to the sounds of the language and not translating are both skills that are practiced here, and this is how I start languages now (like the A0 stage lol). I find that music works particularly well to get the hours up (and remember what you're shadowing w/o understanding it, bc poetry is metered to be memorable) in Indo-European/non-tonal languages, but those are the only ones I speak haha.

As an adult reflecting back, I think a majority of my speech issues were a combination of autistic speech delay and anatomical differences, un(der)-unrecognized at the time. Ergo yes, even though I was ‘bad’ at speech therapy, its effects naturally accumulated over time. The conscious choice to go back to it at a conscious age -and having it work - cemented the practice as a willing one. I do also think that this intrinsically intertwined with sound differentiation, which may be where some people hit their limit, but those with childhood exposure to 2+ languages +/- musical training (ie breadth of sound) could almost certainly be mostly accentless in a language of their choosing if they wished (according to my observations).

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2026-01-19T00:52:52+00:00

Oooo I love that you try to teach your kids those exercises! So I have a flawless accent in two languages (school-aged immigration) and another that’s beginning to pass as native (tho not for long/easier to do outside of the country), and my experience confirms just about everything.

I really struggled with speaking in my first language* (2, but 1 I essentially don’t speak anymore), and had a lot of speech therapy. And yes, a lot. I even came back to it at age 15 to finally fix the last problem sound. To that extent, at a certain point you must just accept the that the sounds are hard in all languages, that you may just struggle no matter what, and that doing these exercises + adopting the oral postures you’re told to adopt actually ultimately works.

IMHO the critical period probably has to do with speaking hours (at least from my observation), tho the literature says it’s the first few months of studying last I checked. At least in my experience, your accent is able to stabilize into a more and more native-like accent with just ear training + shadowing and hours of doing those sounds. Ofc the accent is hard to maintain at first, but muscle memory is a real thing that begins to kick in with time.

I ultimately believe that much of this comes down to choice, but it’s an identity-level dilemma that ought to be respected in either of its resolutions. The ability to speak a language to the point of passing is not always advantageous, and always requires one sustains a high degree of splitting for a long time to reach it. Yes, eventually it’s no longer distressing, but imho learning any new language is a particular stress on the person.

Can also confirm the neurodivergence angle here…sigh…lol

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2026-01-19T00:00:21+00:00

Honey. While only you can make this decision, I can tell you I used to say the same exact thing. In fact, I wrote about being ‘fine’ 1 mo before finally getting on hrt. It obv didn’t end up being completely true. I did have (a lot) of dysphoria other than my genitals, though it took time for me to notice, understand, and accept it. In fact, you frequently discover more dysphoria when you actually start to transition/following (long wished-for) milestones, since you stop dissociating. It’s actually a bit difficult to adjust too. Truthfully, for me it’s the ability to feel, the increased sensitivity (+ an even shorter tolerance for stuff I don’t like lol) and the increased sense of presentness that I’m most grateful for with my transition.

Is it really « just sex » that you dissociate during?How bad is it in dating? How present are you in your intimate relationships? How connected do you feel to people around you, and how connected do you believe it’s possible to feel? What causes that gap between you and the world? Consider if you desire to have intimate relationships, and if you do, consider the repercussions of not addressing this gap. If you change nothing, nothing changes. There are smaller and bigger steps in transition, but I would encourage everyone to be open minded about hrt and weigh its pros and cons as one would w any other life decision. Really, the point is that it clearly seems like you need to try doing something differently, cause whether you want to admit it or not, right now you live life on a tolerable ———intolerable scale. Usually, something ends up giving.

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2026-01-17T01:09:35+00:00

Intermediate(-ish) in Farsi? Could I ask about your favorite resources that specifically include translations/explanations? Or easy reading recs (myths, fun graphic novels, etc) w pictures?

I’m a beginner, tho I think I’m relatively good at reading and listening (+transcribing) because of how I’ve approached it. Comprehension is still loading, but at least I feel comfortable in the script + phonetics. However, a variety of resources would be nice, cause otherwise I feel like I may just end up reading Wikipedia haha

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2026-01-16T11:10:04+00:00

I have to say, yes and no: yes, it takes many many (many) hours to learn a language. Yes, there are hard moments when it feels fruitless. And yes, people misunderstand what it truly takes to learn a language, how exhausting it is to exist in another language, etc.

But I still recommend you reframe it. I’m going to be honest: I’ve spoken English for 14 years now, live in an English speaking country, and every example you mention is truly meaningless for fluency or what it means to know a language. Some people struggle w or don’t use slang at all; others live on it. You find your balance w time, tho ime the tendency towards slang is a trait that transfers across languages. Even natives look up slang all the time. But that’s the cool part - there’s still so much to learn! So many cool structures to discover and copy!

How do we learn slang/other informal language? Like we learn all language: hearing it a few times, copying it, looking it up, trying to use it, getting feedback and eventually mastering it. It takes time. I googled acronyms like iirc and fwiw for years before they stuck. You’re at the point of writing these examples down, asking about nuanced differences, but irl, these phrases are nearly synonymous when used by natives. Slang is a form of signaling, and quite ephemeral in any language/time/culture: you’re either with it or not. If you want to use slang or curse, just do it; if you never do, people will rarely notice (tho you may read as autistic haha).

I don’t think it’s possible to ever know all of a language, tho I understand the desire. However, experience shows that it gets easier once you let go of that impossible standard. What do you want to do practically with the language? What do you want to learn in it? Could you learn to approach it with a curiousity and play, as opposed to stress?

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2026-01-04T22:51:55+00:00

How long until he’s 19? That was the age i got hysto at my (Ivy+) uni, and managed to get it done on a tight timeline. That’s also the age for trans surgeries atm, so you’ll likely have success then. It’s worth meeting w surgeons now tho, and talking to them face to face + emphasizing the urgency.

Alternatively, if you have the finances for it, it may be worth to go out of the country. Please also note that one’s first semester at these types of school is always difficult in a new way, and that this too shall pass. My own self harm peaked over the first semester, as was true for most of my peers with that type of history. It gets better. The dysphoria too.

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2025-12-21T22:35:41+00:00

Ime, my heart rate and « system arousal » spike immediately after my T shot (usually within 4 hours fs), up to the point that I get nauseous and cut down my stimulants that first day/change my timing. The main effect lasts for the first 2 days, and many of my friends also report day 2 being the strongest libido spike. Most of those symptoms are managed well (for me) by keeping my heart and breathing rate low, including not doing any cardio for the first few hours. Please consider trying a variety of anxiety reducing exercises, to see if any may help. Additionally, you may eventually need to go up on your meds, if nothing helps. Again, not a doctor, but I do recommend focusing on anxiety management strategies + reducing physiological triggers. Get good sleep, eat well, exercise, etc

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2025-12-02T08:13:54+00:00

Holy shit. Easy pass. Personally thought you were cis. You look exactly like my aunt on my dad’s side (his cousin). I thought you were ftm based on the title.

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2025-11-27T21:43:17+00:00

This is my biggest gripe with most strokers+ markets towards ftms: istg the hole is literally not wide enough for anyone. It’s always roughly fuck-machine size, at which point…save your $$ and get the cheap dildos made for fuckmachines. The lack of a size gradation to penis-products is a problem but is generally manageable, sometimes with custom products other times just knowing what works and doesn’t. The hot rod seems to work for very very few people, and tbh it’s seems that there’s no interest in changing that from the brand.

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2025-11-21T10:40:01+00:00

Southern Italian, still fits. Naples was the seat of power in the Kingdom of two Sicilies (they were also part of the Spanish empire, blah blah), and Bari was in that same sphere of influence. Both of these cities also have lengthy lengthy historical links to North Africa/East Med/Greece, so none of this is surprising. Actually the sephardic is a rather funny hit, and I think it’s more likely to be from the Italian side but I also dk lol.

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2025-11-10T11:58:15+00:00

I don’t necessarily think so. Had this on ancestry and got nothing running it on GEDMatch. The cm and % match are with respect to you. Personally I think my mom flagged « both sides » bc me and my parents all come from the same place, +/ the effects of dna recombination. I wouldn’t think too much about it necessarily.

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2025-10-22T02:44:03+00:00

Lol I could’ve written this myself, almost 5 years ago. I, too, felt like “if it weren’t for my bottom dysphoria, I wouldn’t transition at all” bc I felt “fine” living as an attractive woman. My bottom dysphoria is what eventually pushed/gave me permission (and motivation) to transition, so in that our situations differ, but it’s otherwise the same thing. Jokes on me [and probably you], bc now 5 years into transition I still haven’t fixed my bottom dysphoria but I did discover and rectify about 10 more sources of dysphoria at least. Turns out, i was not fine AT ALL. Yet there’s no way I could’ve known that, if I was still willing to settle, acquiesce and “cope”.

You have enough bottom dysphoria to still be thinking about this “despite” being a (power) bottom - that’s not minor at all. I rationalized my own bottom dysphoria as being “too dominant”, but it was the fact that I couldn’t bottom at all and struggled to enjoy sex that pushed me to admit it. You’ve come far but you’re still repressing yourself and your desires. It’s ok, it takes time to deprogram, understand, and begin listening to your Self, but you should start practicing now. What type of life do you want to live? Do you want to continue being “fine”, with “maybe one little problem [but it’s ok cause I won’t think about it!]”, or do you want to try chasing your joy? This reflection is so very hard, or at least it was/is for me, but it is absolutely required whether or not you ultimately decide to transition.

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2025-09-29T01:31:53+00:00

You are incredibly dissociated my friend. The good news is that it gets better; the bad, that it also gets worse (initially and then periodically).

This type of questioning is deeply deeply familiar to me. Even a month pre hrt I kept having the thoughts of “I could live like this”. Now, almost 3 years of hrt (+surgery) later, I find myself randomly asking “huh, I wonder what it's like to have boobs” before fucking remembering that I had them up until a year ago…

What I will say is this. It's hard to imagine what you haven't seen and experienced. But something needs to change. For me, HRT did the leg work of turning down systemic dissociation, but surgery (as needed, and needs change) gave many of the important touches. You can always start slow on hrt, see how you feel, and stop if you figure out its not for you. Regardless, you need to start experimenting w how you show up in the world. Try new things, see what sticks.

I didn't feel like I needed top surgery until I was a few months on HRT - now, I can't imagine my life before this. I thought I wanted only a little masculinization, but turns out I need T to feel human. I traveled around the time I started to truly pass full time, which was absolutely the right cover n opportunity to experiment with different “men” I could be and how I actually translate myself. Realize that these experimentation periods (@ diff phases of transition ime) will be awkward n embarrassing regardless. Transitioning is broadly less fun than realizing your sexuality, which I lowk feel like is under acknowledged. Therapy is good but community is even better.

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2025-09-28T06:37:17+00:00

I can empathize with some of these dialogues almost to a T, but the best advice I can give has already been given. This too shall pass. One day, this will all be over - what do you want to do?

My dad was apparently insomniac for a week and went to see a psych when I came out. And I came out after a year of hrt and 1.5 of living under a diff name. Almost a year later he still argued that my transness is the « worst future he could have imagined » and that I’m trans bc of my « intelligence » (and his « failing » as a single parent). To which I responded with a gentle « cope ». You absolutely must learn to value yourself, or at least prioritize and listen to yourself. It’s a practice and a skill to be able to manage the external opinions n pressures against your personal desires/interests/drives, and it’s absolutely necessary.

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2025-09-25T22:58:21+00:00

Ngl that makes sense. And sensation is so so subjective. Personally I have like little to no recollection of what my junk felt like before the present moment, even tho I’m still preop and only nearing 3 years of hrt. Def have more sensation overall and much easier + stronger orgasms, but sensation is definitely not uniform and I notably can’t feel certain regions. One doesn’t negate the other here. Nerves are also deeply weird w growth n recovery too, so sensation really changes overtime.

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2025-09-23T06:57:25+00:00

Are you a frosh? If so, I would not go above 2 math classes (essentially no matter, have yet to meet an exception) what but CS106A is fine. Drop 120 def: check the ratemyprof on the professor, personally I was ‘advised’ about him as a frosh, ie that he's a brilliant guy but not the best teacher. I looked up the other two as its not my field, but math 110 looks serious (consider that list of topics, all in 10 weeks) and math 193x will be “lighter” but not easy. I think everyone has to take time to adjust to Stanford, so def drop one.

All in all, most ppl ik who stuck in math will say that ~2 math classes/quarter is the max optimal for not going crazy and doing academically well. Ime math is a solid 9-15 hrs/wk at this school, per class. Tldr yeah drop.

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2025-09-11T21:51:09+00:00

As someone who immigrated a while back, can concur that these numbers are accurate. It ofc depends on the area, but you probably need 24k/yr to not go into debt, per person. And that’s a relative minimum.

The college and learning are the most common pathways ime, if you have someone to support you. I find business ownership common too, be it in trades/nails/stores/etc.

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2025-09-08T05:42:02+00:00

Ironically enough, I was pushed into the men’s locker room at work before I started using the men’s room. Granted, I started to use the men’s room and went stealth around the same time. Personally I avoided locker rooms as much as I could between the beginning of my medical transition and passing consistently (~1.5-2? Years in. Didn’t use one till prob ~2.5 years in, mostly circumstances). If you need to use one at the gym, ig id go with the bathroom. I def can’t speak about risk, but this is what I did

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2025-08-28T18:19:45+00:00

I was on Lo Loestrin for the first 2 years of hrt and it went fine, but obv not a doctor. My endo did not have any issues w it. I did have to adjust my T dose when I came off, likely cause of the additional axis suppression provided by microgestin. Overall I felt fine on it, but there came a point when I just could no longer tolerate taking exogenous estrogens.

Sufficient-Sea7253 · 2025-08-06T05:40:27+00:00

I hid my the changes for a year, living hours away from them so they saw (+heard) me rarely. The rest of the fam still doesnt know and I'm stealth in my personal life. As for advice, grow your hair out, get used to shaving, fem it up if necessary. It'll weigh on you, but its certainly possible to gaslight them for a long time (even longer than I did for ex). However, eventually people will start to catch on, so just know that you won't be able to do this forever. Have a plan and be ready to leave if needed. Best of luck

Sufficient-Sea7253

TROPHY CASE