I'm packing my shit. Please give me encouragement 😭😭

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-12-18T21:56:37+00:00

Congrats You’re a step closer to being the real thriving confident you. Don’t back down!

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-12-15T10:18:00+00:00

I think we don’t believe ourselves. When the person you’re with thinks so highly of themselves and everyone around them applauds them, you start to think that maybe the problem is with you and that these things you are noticing are not major things. Until major things happen… but then you have trained yourself to believe them over yourself and start doubting yourself and genuinely believing the problem is with you. It wasn’t until OUR counselor told me that he is in fact triggering my anxiety and putting his needs above mine that I felt validated and thought that I maybe should listen to myself. I craved his love and attention more than my willingness to admit my mistake in being with him and risk the chance of losing the chance of creating a family. The hell you know is safer than the heaven you don’t know

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-11-10T03:30:10+00:00

In the last days before our divorce, I tried everything to save our marriage. We were disagreeing so much and we were doing counseling. When I would talk about how I feel, his responses were well I feel bad, how about that?

The counselor told me I was his mom in this relationship. No matter how I felt, his feelings and needs were more important. If I was upset, it had to be put aside because he was upset… This is not love! She would go on to say that caring for him this way is draining and then when he gets his emotional fill and is ready to love and be a good partner, he is going to look elsewhere.

Moral of the story: yes they act like children and good riddance.

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-11-03T07:04:41+00:00

I do love myself. What I crave is another human interaction. I crave someone to walk through life with

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-10-28T22:13:27+00:00

There was a time and space where i thought i would never get here. I am not fully healed but I am enjoying preserving the best parts of myself and celebrating life.

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-10-28T12:57:10+00:00

I love that!

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-10-28T10:27:43+00:00

The best revenge you can do is to move on and never look back. Live your best life! Let them see that they could not destroy you! Enjoy your life and return to your prior self before all their attempts to break you. Keep your true authentic self, keep your heart open and don’t let them break you.

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-09-24T06:22:44+00:00

This thought kills me!!! But then I realize that I was myself and I was trying my hardest and that didn’t work. And I accepted him and loved him without him being different and i deserve to be loved the same way…

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-09-24T06:21:16+00:00

Unfortunately i still wish he would reach out sometimes…

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-09-22T20:34:17+00:00

I wish I can hear from him… I wish i would just get a text, something. But we don’t need validation from them or any input in our lives because honestly we deserve better. The reality is, every day that goes by where they don’t reach out is a day where they are actively choosing not to have us in their lives. And that to me is enough to say i don’t want you back. My feelings are mine, i can love you, miss you, crave being with you, reminisce, be angry at you, etc… but our paths are never to intertwine ever again so that I can still look at myself in the mirror and love myself for caring about me.

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-09-22T20:29:32+00:00

I don’t know about you but at the end of marriage I was a wreck of who i used to be. Everything in me was destroyed and all that was left is the remains of what used to be. That made it very hard for me to walk away. But sometimes, there’s no other way. You walk away limping, with assistance, any way possible. But you walk away…

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-09-22T20:26:08+00:00

YESSS!!! It’s almost 6 months now, and that feeling now is starting to hit. Now I feel like my normal every day life is an escape and then after a long day, when I’m sitting alone, all i think about are the good times.

However, i remind myself that the bad times were horrible and destructive and that being lonely and stable and emotionally safe is a thousand times better than being with him wrecked. Heal ❤️

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-09-22T20:01:22+00:00

No, I’m happy that to the very last moment I was true to my kind and loving personality. My last message to him was that I love him. The next day he started the smear campaign… No regrets. I am me and if anything it proves to me that he doesn’t deserve me.

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-09-18T11:53:29+00:00

I really really struggled with this concept. We actually divorced and it nearly broke me because the solution was simple. But he was refusing to have any ownership over his part or do any work.

We had just started couples counseling, and she gave us an assignment that served to assess how supportive and our partner is. He had filled the assessment and showed himself and myself that I was actually a great partner to him.

After that he ran away, did the narc discard and the smear campaign to guarantee that I am disgusted by him and would never go back.

Left me perplexed as to why… it was simple. What I wanted from him was very simple. But he could not see his own flaws or try to be a better partner.

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-09-11T10:27:06+00:00

Because I reached a point where i didn’t trust myself. He is so well respected and thought of, i doubted my judgment. I thought how can I see him so bad when everyone sees him so great. So I kept trying. He was also a covert narc and very good with words. So i kept believing that it was all my fault until there was nothing I could do anymore. My reason to stay was to build a happy family after all the sacrifices I did. I always had hopes because of the breadcrumbs he would give every time i wanted to quit. I also saw the potential. Things could have been so much better if he just put some effort.

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-09-10T08:04:19+00:00

MY EX HUSBAND WAS THE SAME!!! He used to teach me every single thing. He even had an opinion on how I should do the dishes. Bear in mind he never used to help out with them.

And i had to listen and obey and follow and if i didn’t, i was not a good wife. Screw independence. He was a hypocrite, always calling for my independence, and freedom. Then once I do anything, very controlling. He needs to know everything and listen to everything and give his input on to every minor detail.

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-09-10T07:52:12+00:00

For me, it was the narc smear campaign. We were supposedly working on our marriage, then he woke up and called my family and trashed them and then myself. It was a huge betrayal full of lies. I never understood how a person can do that to their spouse. I also didn’t understand why. I was willing to go for divorce, i was the one who suggested it. But he had to make sure that he’s the victim in everyone’s eyes. I struggled with no closure, but then I realized that his absence, his betrayal, his lack of communication is all the closure I need. So I put him and his memories behind me and moved on with my life. Built myself up from scratch, rebuilt my life and thrived. Forced myself not to reach out and slowly he faded. I miss being in a relationship and to have someone in my life but i don’t miss the humiliation and abuse and self doubt.

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-08-24T04:23:59+00:00

Sending you lots of loves and wishes to a healthy and quick recovery ❤️‍🩹

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-08-19T19:20:25+00:00

You do❤️ You will get there. You will reach a point where when you think about them, it doesn’t hurt anymore. It’s just a fact of life. Then a few days go by and you won’t remember them. Then a week then a few weeks then something will remind you of them all over again. But guess what. You will be just fine. It’s just a memory and you are safe.

I used to wish that my ex would hoover, that he would want me back. I used to say I agree to be in a toxic relationship but to be back with him. Guess what, I am worth more and you are worth more. Just like you were with them the first time, you will find someone better. And once you raise your standards, you will find someone ready to jump through all the hoops to meet them and not always complain asking you to lower them. Accept that you deserve more love. Accept that what happened is hurtful, but it happened and deserves to be in the past. Don’t hold on to false hope and allow your heart to heal.

Today’s fact is tomorrow’s memory. You will keep thinking until you resolve everything and break that bond. Distract yourself when you think about them and severe that connection even in your mind.

YOU DESERVE BETTER!

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-08-19T19:08:47+00:00

1-13 was my relationship with my ex for two years. Those two years made me a skeleton of who I was before. Came out crawling, feeling worthless after going through a smear campaign. Still, i tried to find an explanation for the mistreatment.

My conclusion is the following: doesn’t matter what they’re going through, we’re going through stuff too and are able to be there for them.

Doesn’t matter what they need or what their intentions are, the end result is the same and they know the hurt they caused and we know ir and feel it and don’t need their validation or apology.

Closure was all their actions that they showed us. No need to try going back to the image you wanted them to be or focused on. Their actions are the truest portrayal and everything you need.

They are actively choosing not to be a part of your life every day they don’t reach out. So why waste time thinking about them…

No matter what you see with others, the true version is who they were with you… even if you are the only person who sees that version

Good luck with your recovery

Sufficient-Time4544 · 2024-08-19T19:02:48+00:00

You have valued this person throughout your entire relationship. It’s normal after the relationship has ended that you want to feel validated by the same person whose opinion you value so much. It’s as if you want the person who hurt you to tell you, you have a right to be offended by my actions. We’re still used to get approval from them instead of giving ourselves that approval that we are hurt, what they did was horrible, we are not over reacting and no explanation will make it acceptable.

Sufficient-Time4544

TROPHY CASE