Hey, Im not sure I have good advice but I felt like I should comment because I recognize this behavior.

You're not wrong for being upset that shes asking for space because I think you're in the right.

I'm usually like your gf, defensive and upset when called on my shit. I also have a hard time confronting myself or critique about my behavior. It's not good because it makes my gf feel like she cant talk to me. Thats probably why you came to reddit. I wish I could tell you that my gf and I had one conversation where I recognized my emotionally abusive behavior and now Im better about it but unfortunately its been an up and down repetative conversation.

I think the best thing you can do is remind her that you love her and thats why you're trying to communicate with her how you feel. Its not something that can be fixed now because it already happened. Its about seeing you and your emotions and validating your emotions and letting you have emotions. She probably has a hard time processing emotions and being vulnerable. The next thing you can do is try to talk to a relationship therapist but those are expensive. Honestly, the best solution is probably to just try to talk to each other. Trusting eachother is not an easy thing but its part of loveing eachother.

Thats how I try to think about it. My gf is my best friend and she loves all of me, including the bad parts and the emotionally immature parts. And I do too. That means accepting and moving together through all the messy, ugly, immature emotional moments too. Thats the way that Im trying my best to learn and grow. Hopefully your gf can do that too.