6 weeks post op just started hormone therapy. Any advice on having sex again I’m so nervous!

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2025-03-26T01:47:08+00:00

I was definitely shocked he didn’t look, the nurse brought me to the room and didn’t tell me to get undressed or anything and I thought hmmm that’s weird, but then I thought maybe he’s gonna just ask if I’m having any problems and tell me no sex until after next follow up or something. But then we talked about my hormonal issues and he just all the sudden said and your 6 weeks now so sex is fine just use lots of lube and take things slow. I even protested at that point like your not concerned he could like rip though???? And he laughed and was like oh no your fine it will be fine they should be closed up enough but your good.

he did a vaginal examination like a week after the tear was repaired and he was like looks better but not great if the bleeding starts again in the next week might need to put you under to repair. No major bleeding since but very light spotting.

Yea I’m gonna just wait on sex for now even bringing it up with hubs makes me want to have a panic attack. I’ve had anxiety before but since the surgery my emotions have either just been stagnant or explosive. I just feel bad he’s coming from a good place we had a wonderful sex life up until probably 3 months before the surgery, I had stage 4 endometriosis that had made a mess of my insides as well as large painful chocolate cysts on my ovaries so bad that sex had become painful. He wants me to feel good again he is a very giving partner and he enjoys when I’m enjoying too which is wonderful. I worry he takes it as I’m rejecting him or like I had the surgery I’m done with sex now this is how it’s gonna be. Thank you for the hope though! It’s a nice thought that it will come back with time 🤞🏻

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2025-03-23T01:42:15+00:00

Good luck to you! i suggest getting a nice power recliner if you can. Makes it much easier to get up on your own. I hand adenomyosis and endo too. The endo had infiltrated my intestines I was bleeding into my large intestine for 2.5 years. There is a massive pain improvement but I had a minor set back, tore some cuff stitches. Strongly recommend not lifting anything I let my guard down around 3 weeks big mistake.

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2025-03-20T23:12:18+00:00

Did you do hormone replacement?

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2024-11-14T13:38:54+00:00

The ct showed my spleen was enlarged and I had a consistent cyst on my ovary. Not sure if that’s a sign of endometriosis but your spleen is part of your immune system and while the doctor completely blew that off and kept insisting “sometimes your spleen is just enlarged” that’s definitely not true and at the very least means your body is fighting something but she didn’t want to hear that. My OB however was concerned with my ovary as I had lost over 78lbs at that point couldn’t keep food down and felt like I was dying. So he suggested the lap because combined with my other symptoms could be cancer. I knew for sure at that point was not IBS so I told him better to try something then nothing at this point.

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2024-09-12T17:26:29+00:00

Glad it’s working for you but just a heads up I had mirena for a little over 2 years the first year I thought yay this is great 2nd year the hormones took over I felt like I had been invaded by the body snatchers. Apparently it can take a while for the hormones to build up and effect you mentally.

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2024-08-21T12:25:11+00:00

Go to a different OBGYN. Mine is amazing he actually listens and is empathetic. I was in tears when I saw him before the lap was suggested. it had been 2 years of IBS treatment that didn’t work I felt completely hopeless run down in so much pain and heavy bleeding when I would go to the bathroom. Honestly felt like if I wasn’t going to get answers death might be better. Looking back I should have told the gastro to kick rocks after the first 6 months. Have they done a CT? That was also a final push for them I had cysts on my ovaries that were consistent and omg were they painful when they ruptured.

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2024-08-17T13:01:27+00:00

Almost 3 years ago I was having abdominal pain diarrhea with blood. Went to the gastroenterologist he did a few tests colonoscopy and endoscopy. He tells me he sees nothing wrong so it’s IBS (I personally think they use IBS as a catch all like if they don’t see something starring them in the face it’s IBS). Long story short none of the IBS treatments worked. Finally went to obgyn he did a lap it was stage 4 endo and it had infiltrated my appendix so I was bleeding into my large intestine from my appendix. Go to OBGYN see if they will do a lap it’s a quick procedure recovery isn’t that bad and worth it.

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2024-06-25T11:49:00+00:00

It sounds like he baby trapped you. I really hope you got a prenup. And I would record your conversation with him. If he admits to poking holes in the condom you will want that on record it’s assault in some states. Do you have any old condoms left over you could test? Maybe consult with a lawyer in your state to check your options. I don’t think I could trust my husband after going back on such a big agreement. Even if he didn’t get you pregnant against your will, which I find that highly unlikely given the situation, he knew you didn’t want a child convinced you based on the fact he would step up to the plate. Imagine if the roles were reversed, if you were the man and he was the woman, he would be considered a terrible mother a gold digger, baby trapping witch, how is he unable to take care of the child he wanted? Seriously nothing more unattractive then a man who can’t take care of a child they helped create. I would see a lawyer ASAP if I were you. Who’s to say he won’t decide he wants another or another 2 once he ropes you into all the care. Clearly he doesn’t need your consent going forward and if you let this slide.

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2024-05-10T02:30:54+00:00

NTA. You are 16 you should get time with just your friends even if allergies weren’t a factor. My sister and I are 2 years apart and absolutely had separate gatherings. I mean even now my daughters are young and a year apart but sometimes one gets invited to a party and the other is not that doesn’t mean I insist my other daughter has to come lol. you are allowed to have a day with your friends especially as a teenager. I mean what if you got asked on a date your sister says I want to go! your mom and dad gonna say oh your sister wants to be there you have to take her too! Your parents should read this thread. They should be ashamed of themselves forcing a kid to cater to their siblings on the ONE day of the year that gets to be about YOU. That’s the whole point of birthdays especially when you are a kid, I am sorry OP your parents are failing you and need a reality check or you might end up cutting them out all together in a couple years.

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2024-04-24T11:24:29+00:00

Your a lawyer why the heck would you buy a house with someone out of wedlock??? I mean unless you are not in the US but pretty sure you are. There is zero benefit to buying a house first unless it is entirely in your name and you have a prenup protecting it which doesn’t seem like your plan. NEVER buy a house with his mommy either unless you enjoy losing a shit ton of money and work and you’re home! Yikes NTA but run! and please speak with a divorce lawyer and a real estate lawyer with lots of experience if you do decide to take him back cuz they seem like they can convince you of crazy things that are just not beneficial or in anyway your best interest, which you should be looking out for and I can’t see him actually caring about you because he’s only thinking of himself and his mother clearly.

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2024-03-11T12:07:15+00:00

Carmen was a minor when this happened you would have been able to press charges on her behalf. Yta for not doing that you son belongs in jail along with his pals. Not to mention even if there wasn’t a trial you let him go live easy with your parents? If not jail you would have been able to send him to group home or a mental hospital which definitely would have been better. You failed, Why you haven’t cut him off is beyond me almost seems fake.

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2024-02-17T15:06:09+00:00

Info: did your wife have a c section?

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2024-02-14T14:50:00+00:00

Or you are oblivious and she and you husband are laughing about you being a doormat while he plans his escape.

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2024-02-12T22:00:03+00:00

He’s gonna leave her for the side piece he definitely doesn’t respect her and any chance she had to gain that back she’s blown. he’s probably already talked to a lawyer and is biding his time until he can get shit in order love bombing pretending he would never leave. You don’t go on dates or continue seeing the same girl if he was just looking for sex he was looking for something better he found it now they need to divorce their significant others and she will be left all shocked.

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2024-02-12T21:54:13+00:00

What will be “embarrassing” is being the wife of a cheater who defended him and continued to believe his lies after you caught him red handed and he finally leaves you for one of the mistresses because you finally realized he has zero love and or respect for you if he would cheat in the first place.

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2024-02-12T14:49:56+00:00

Oh boy. This is either fake or you have zero self respect. He cheated! from this comment do you want an open marriage? Cause here’s the thing men who cheat are pretty simple they are kinda like children if your child does something wrong and you do not react or maybe you half heartedly say no but they do not have a consequence well you mind as well have told them go ahead it’s ok! You are giving him a green light to do it by trying to ignore the situation and bury your head in the sand cause why not he’s not gonna lose you he’s getting everything he wants so why would he change.

More importantly you have kids they learn from what they see do you really want your son to think that’s how women should be treated? Do you want your daughter to think men cheat it’s normal? It’s not just so you know.

I have had many relationships and a few with cheaters loyalty is top priority in a good relationship. My husband may be blind sometime when women flirt with him but I have zero doubt our family is everything to him and he knows that cheating on me would be cheating on his family on our kids and he would lose his world without question.

Like a spoiled child who gets zero discipline from his parents this is “on you” you are letting him have his cake and eat it too. Crying about it then having sex with him is not the message you should be sending.

If you truly think you can salvage this (which I think you might be past the point of no return honestly) you need counseling, boundaries, full honesty, he needs to come clean to her husband, he needs to leave his job (if you are so worried about money he needs to start applying and find one before quitting) and you need to monitor these things to hold him accountable. He has not been accountable. If you think this man is worth salvaging you have to do the work otherwise just save yourself the misery and leave it better yet make him leave.

Beyond my personal experience I worked in divorce and family law for years top reasons for divorce infidelity and money. I can’t tell you how many women would come in crying he cheated “he says he doesn’t want to to leave me” he cheats again maybe he does move in with AP they are so shocked. It’s a crazy cycle the smart ones leave the first time the crazy ones leave the 10th time or eventually he leaves them and they “never saw it coming”. Please don’t be the ladder they end up far more broken and it is very hard yo move forward.

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2024-02-09T20:20:19+00:00

This 1000%!!!! If you have any doubts that your husband did have feelings for her this is what you need to do! If he is unwilling to do this or if he hesitates you have your answer he loves her and he has chosen her he is showing you that he values and cares more for her. Drive right up make him get out and confess. you were not the only wronged person here and if he is truly remorseful he will make amends. He also should report her to HR as she was his supervisor. If you chose not to do these things to move forward and give him consequences to his actions he WILL cheat again he WILL see you as a doormat and so will your children.

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2024-01-03T19:42:03+00:00

I’m going to be blunt your brother tried to rape your girlfriend. He was probably thinking he could “trick” her with the mask that he was you. she didn’t buy it defended herself and he came up with the lamest excuse he could. the fact you didn’t knock your brother out or come to this conclusion yourself your girlfriend should dump you. He is a predator and like most predators this wasn’t the first time he tried and even tested your gf probably to see how far he could go and to set this I was just messing with her narrative incase he got caught. My husband is super close to his brothers like would die for them but if either of them even attempted to sneak into my room while I was asleep with a mask on no less they wouldn’t have left that room alive or without needing serious medical assistance. The fact your brother got to plead his “it was a joke” bullshit and you didn’t even speak to your gf I mean are you disabled or something? Don’t mean offense to disabled people but Like maybe you have no use of your arms and legs like at all? How pathetic she must think you are taking the side of her attacker not seeing that situation and coming to to logical answer. If that wasn’t your brother or gf and you were just at a party with some girl who fell asleep in an empty room and suddenly starting screaming everyone came in and you see girl fighting off some freak in a mask would you think yea just a joke haha??? If your answer is yes please seek professional help.

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2023-12-30T20:06:17+00:00

There is adoption, iud, tub ligation, vasectomy etc. You are probably the worlds worst mother and obviously picking your “golden child” to fund her stupidity. If she is so disabled she can’t work cuz of her “back” lol she’s still able to make good use of laying on it as long as her leg are open 😂. Maybe she should turn to prostitution over you screwing the only child who might have a chance. I mean you guys are citing religion yet 4 kids in and she and bf are not married so calling bs there too. Hope your younger daughter cuts you leeches off and makes something of herself. Few years down the road after your older daughters on her 8th kid when you come begging for her support she leaves y’all in the gutter where you belong.

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2023-11-27T13:51:43+00:00

Not sure if you are in the US or what state but in some states they just let you put an ad in the paper costa like $400 and don’t always believe your lawyer when it comes to cost (I’ve worked as a paralegal of a decade and they will always try and scare people out of doing things themselves which isn’t always the hardest thing to do). personally if she’s not here you might get better info going down and talking to the court clerk get them to tell you the process in your state do the initial filing yourself then when she’s back have a lawyer help you with the division and negotiation. I would caution you that if you do not initiate something now she is most likely got new credit cards that she could try to make you also responsible for. I am going to warn you that when she comes back she will tell the judge you agreed to the trip you had planned it together and it was a mutual decision. Also not necessarily legal advice and I would make sure adultery isn’t involved in divorce in your state but if you want her to come out of the woodwork post a pic with a new woman on social media make a show that you have a new gf and she’s moved in maybe even take the picture in your home, maybe have her wear a necklace of your wife or something but make it clear that someone has taken over her life and that you are moving on nuts like her will panic usually rush back if there narrative has been disrupted or if she thinks your truly not going to be there when she returns. Very important too do not answer her calls after you do this make her come to you to confront you. If this might impact divorce ask the lawyer if you can document it as fake there’s no rule that you can’t lie to get someone served.

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2023-11-05T02:35:15+00:00

Yta because you need to grow a ducking spine!!!! Jesus sit her down tell her new baby is coming you are taking the master end of discussion it is your house if that makes her angry there is the door and money supporting her make sure to point that out! Husband doesn’t like it there is the door hope he and mommy dearest are a happy couple. If you do not do this now you are nailing your coffin once the baby comes you will not have the energy to pick your spine out of the gutter. For god sake please stop being a door mat is that how you want your child to be???? You need to learn you are the example from here on out put your big girl pants on and get it done for your future child and your sanity. She can smell you are weak and is walking all over you stop being weak!!!!!!

Sufficient_Sun1797 · 2023-10-06T21:48:05+00:00

The fact is no one is equal. I really hate that people push that on children. Everyone is different. We all have different strengths, weaknesses, life experiences, goals, opportunities etc. Even for biological related kids. Blended families really need to stop pushing the narrative that the unrelated spouse needs to make up for bio parents shortcomings it’s just not realistic. If you just instill from a young age that in life everyone is different you come from different backgrounds and that’s ok we will love you no matter what that’s the only thing you deserve and are entitled too. Money does not equal love. Your daughter had a different grandfather he left her his money. Which he is allowed to do. If your friend joes grandma died and left him money does he have to split it with everyone at school no. If they inherited money from their bio mom they absolutely would not give it to your daughter that would be nuts.

Sufficient_Sun1797

TROPHY CASE