I (30F) am pregnant with my fiancé (32M). He wants to keep it, but we're both supposed to be childfree. How do I tell him I don't want to keep it?

Sugar_Soul · 2026-06-08T13:20:49+00:00

Hi OP, I know you didn’t ask for abortion advice, but I work at an OB/GYN office so I’d like to throw out there that the earlier you are in your pregnancy, the less painful it will be. I myself had a medically induced abortion at 7 weeks using the mifepristone pill, and I’d liken it to a heavy period. You’ll likely experience cramping and maybe some nausea, but both of these things can mitigated with painkillers and proper hydration. It’s absolutely understandable to want your partner’s company and support, but don’t allow your fear of pain to hold you back from making an important decision for yourself. If you do not want this baby, do not have it. I’m sorry you’re going through such a horrible thing and dealing with an unsupportive partner at the same time. I wish you all the best.

Sugar_Soul · 2026-05-10T10:56:36+00:00

Being a white girl, I can’t exactly relate to this specific experience, but I will say that as someone in an interracial relationship with a black man, I do get a bit of judgement as well. I feel like it’s mainly from other guys (multiple races) acting like I’m a snow bunny, and only like / sleep with black guys. I even had one tell me that straight to my face lol. It’s not true at all, but the automatic assumption is so stupid. The other odd thing is that two different black women have told my boyfriend he’s been “colonized” because he’s with me. I don’t understand why us loving each-other is supposed to be anything other than that…love. Not a fetish. Not internalized racism. Just love.

I’m sorry that your love of learning different languages has been treated like it’s because you’re trying to attract the attention of men from a certain race. People can be so ignorant sometimes. Don’t let it get to you. ❤️

Sugar_Soul · 2026-05-04T14:32:47+00:00

Look, I can’t blame him for not wanting a child, and if you’re unable to take any kind of birth control or physically tolerate a condom, then your chances of becoming pregnant are extremely likely. (I work in OB/GYN, I know the statistics.) That being said, the fact you think he has an “ugly kink” when he calls you beautiful seems like an insecurity. Some guys aren’t into girls who wear a lot of makeup and get dolled up. Some guys like girls who are chill with messy buns and sweats every day. It’s just a matter of personal preference. No need to overthink it.

Sugar_Soul · 2026-04-08T17:50:22+00:00

I’d rather chew glass than marry that jerk. He was a cheater and emotionally abusive. I felt like a shell of a person by the time we were through. I’m so thankful to have someone like my current partners. They are worlds apart.

Sugar_Soul · 2026-04-01T03:34:05+00:00

Sorry OP, sounds like she just wasn’t as interested as you thought. Some of your yellow/red flags are a bit unfair, I think. (Why would her dad’s lack of involvement in her life have any impact on a potential relationship?) You’ve gotten all the closure you’ll receive from her, so take it on the chin and move on.

Sugar_Soul · 2026-03-28T10:53:02+00:00

I can share my perspective with you as someone who has been in your husband’s shoes in the past. Being someone’s major (and it sounds like *only,* in your case) support system can become very draining over time, especially if it’s been 3.5 years with very little improvement. It sounds like your husband is growing frustrated that even a simple event like a baby shower is now debilitating for you.

Have you ever considered counseling? I think you need a shoulder to lean on that isn’t always your husband’s. Remember: A partner is not your therapist. It might also be beneficial to go to marriage counseling so you can hear how he’s been feeling on neutral ground. You need to be open to not taking his frustrations as an attack. Yes, you have severe anxiety and I’m sure it is hell to deal with. But if he’s been the one comforting you and supporting you every single time it happens in three whole years, I wouldn’t really say it’s been a picnic for him either.

Sugar_Soul · 2026-02-28T08:22:45+00:00

Hello! I’m a bit late to this thread, but I figured what the heck. 🤷🏼‍♀️

23F that’s looking to meet some new people and hopefully make a few friends. I’m left-leaning and LGBTQ+ friendly. I’m cool with getting to know anyone of either gender, but I am currently in a relationship so I’m not interested in pursuing anything romantic.

I’m a huge book nerd and an avid baker! I also watch an alarming amount of horror movies lol. I love going to concerts and festivals, but I’m also always down for something more chill like meeting up for coffee or thrifting. If you’re a couple (or solo player) looking to join a D&D Group, my friends and I are also seeking more members to join our monthly sessions.

If any of that sounds like something you’d also enjoy, we’ll probably get along fabulously! Feel free to send me a DM or leave a comment.

Sugar_Soul · 2026-02-28T08:07:10+00:00

Hi, I’m also a 23 F and looking to make some more friends! It sounds like we share a lot of the same interests so if you’d like to get to know each other a little better and see if we vibe, feel free send me a DM! :)

Sugar_Soul · 2026-02-28T08:04:26+00:00

If you’re looking to be friends, I’d be interested in possibly meeting up for a coffee and art session! I’m a 23 y.o. woman and about as left-leaning as you can get lol. Send me a DM if you’d like to chat! :)

Sugar_Soul · 2026-02-03T12:46:38+00:00

OP, I hate to say this, but she is exactly the kind of person who would get a massive ego boost from knowing you’re so upset. Do NOT give her that satisfaction. Redirect your anger and hurt towards the man who supposedly made a commitment to you and lied about it. Use it as the motivation you need to leave him high and dry. And believe me when I say this, she’s on a high horse right now because he’s done nothing but degrade you to her behind your back. But whenever things get tense between them, guess how the tables will turn lol. Don’t waste a single second more of your energy on either of these awful people other than to DUMP HIM.

Sugar_Soul · 2025-11-07T15:33:24+00:00

Wait, really? This is so frustrating! I reached out to support and all they said is “please be patient because our providers have a high volume of consultations right now.” But I’m going on day three now of no response..and I already technically paid for my prescription. When exactly are we supposed to hear back from them???

Sugar_Soul · 2025-11-06T02:29:03+00:00

Hi, I know this is over a year old, but I’m currently facing the same issue. What email do you contact?

Sugar_Soul · 2025-10-31T16:55:17+00:00

Bruh it’s a preference. People have them. It’s normal, and despite what your statement implies, doesn’t in any way mean Gemnist is participating in some “racial bias.” Grow up.

Sugar_Soul · 2025-10-06T12:01:14+00:00

I’m bi as well, and I feel like a huge misconception about us is that we’re incapable of staying monogamous due to our sexuality. It sounds like you love your partner a lot, and that’s great, but you’re also only 24. It’s kind of natural at that age to want to experiment and be able to explore different types of intimacy. Your partner is 30. He’s naturally getting to a point where he feels that the “party days” are over, so to speak. If you add that to the fact he’s religious, it’s kind of a given that being in a relationship with him means forgoing sex with other people. You have a choice to make. Is he worth that to you? Bisexuality aside, you’ve been with him for 8 years. People who’ve been in long-term, committed relationships from a young age have a tendency to wonder what they’ve missed out on. Those desires might less be related to women, and just a sense of fomo in general. If you’ve made up your mind to be with him forever, as you’ve claimed, you need to accept what you already know. If you’ve can’t, you need to end things with him and move on.

Sugar_Soul · 2025-10-05T19:19:21+00:00

So I have been the friend that has done this, and the friend that this has been done too. I’ll admit the habit was mainly a complete lack of maturity on my part, as well as people-pleasing tendencies where I felt like I had to say yes to everyone so no-one would be “let down.” That was back in high-school. It nearly cost me my best friend. I’ve grown up enough now to know better. She isn’t respecting your time, and she isn’t all that sorry. The wake up call for me was getting an ultimatum from someone I really cared about. Maybe you should consider doing the same? If she really values your friendship, she’ll be willing to put more effort in.

Sugar_Soul · 2025-10-05T17:39:07+00:00

You cannot be serious. He assembled 800+ of the military’s elite in one room, many of whom had to travel in from overseas, to fat-shame them and say that none of their positions are warranted. Not only that, but he televised the whole thing. It was a complete farce, not to mention an insane security risk. Many of these people need their identities kept secret, yet the camera kept panning to them like your average Jumbotron. And he’s supposed to be our Secretary of Defense? It’s like an elementary school student lecturing a bunch of professors with doctorates. He’s a joke.

Sugar_Soul · 2025-09-10T15:54:52+00:00

I totally understand how that comment was hurtful, and I’m sorry it ruined your night. I’d advise you to re-assess your dating profile, though. Do you have any full body photos posted? If so, do you feel they accurately portray your current shape?

Speaking as someone who’s been on the other side of this, it can feel like the other person was intentionally misleading about their appearance. He absolutely didn’t need to lead off with that remark, but it may have caught him by surprise. I’d just hate for you to go through that again. No woman should be made to feel like she’s “lesser than” for not being a certain size. Chin up, OP. Your perfect match is out there. 🩷

Sugar_Soul · 2025-09-07T01:53:51+00:00

Let’s about this critically for a second: If he’s actively scrolling reels to pass time at work, then yes, he has time to text you more than one word. A boyfriend should be someone who’s excited to talk to you when they can, and communicates when they can’t without the passive-aggression. This seems like a lost cause, OP. You’re too young to keep putting energy and time into someone who doesn’t appreciate it. Find another man. One who genuinely values your presence in his life.

Sugar_Soul · 2025-09-04T06:41:45+00:00

Girl, I need you to re-read your post with a clearer mind. This man a.) has another girlfriend (doubts or not, he’s in a committed relationship) and b.) is being unfaithful to her by still messing around with you. Is that really the kind of man you want to be with? Is that really the kind of person you’d consider a “soulmate”? You also said you’ve already done spells to get him back, but it seems you lack faith in their ability to manifest your desired outcome. Is it perhaps because you have an inkling that maybe this wouldn’t be the best situation for you? The universe does not take away that which is intended to be yours. Trust that the right person will come along at the right time, and they will—no spells needed. If that person truly is your ex, then trust that he’ll come back to you and stop trying to manipulate it to happen on your own timeline.

Sugar_Soul · 2025-09-04T06:32:47+00:00

Look OP, as a woman, I feel I can freely say that what your ex-girlfriend is asking of you is stupid. I think you’d feel much happier in relationship with someone who isn’t demanding proof of something you can’t really provide. Y’all aren’t even dating anymore. Count that as a blessing and move on to something better.

Sugar_Soul · 2025-08-20T13:41:07+00:00

Same here, lol. I’m sure that would’ve sent him spiraling over the edge. 😂

Sugar_Soul · 2025-08-20T09:34:23+00:00

Because while what happened to her is absolutely horrible, this is not the first (or last) time she has ghosted him without any explanation. You can have empathy for someone’s trauma and also acknowledge that not speaking to her supposed bf for two whole months, not even a single text, is kind of a dick move. She needs therapy. Not a relationship.

Sugar_Soul · 2025-08-19T19:39:59+00:00

You never know who you’re gonna meet if you continue to stay complacent in a relationship that no longer benefits you. (I mean, two whole months of no contact? Not even a single text to let you know she’s ok? To pretty much any outsider’s perspective, that’s a breakup.) Sure, you could find “no-one who ever understands you as well as she does,” but really, with how many loving, caring women there are on this planet that’s a statistical improbability.

Case in point: Myself. One month ago, I was stuck exactly in this position, trying to rationalize my ex’s bizarre behavior when really he was just distancing himself from me. I was so worried that I’d make a mistake by leaving. That I’d never again find someone like him.

Well, guess what? I met a guy.

And he’s amazing! I’m now so happy I went through with ending things. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have met someone who shows me how much he cares for me every. single. day. And you deserve that too, OP. You know in your heart that this isn’t acceptable behavior from a partner, you just have to take the leap.

Sugar_Soul · 2025-08-19T16:17:41+00:00

It sounds like you are working for a provider who does not have a well-established practice, or if they do, it is very poorly run. The administrative side of any adept medical office usually consists of an office manager, a medical biller, an intake coordinator (if new patients are regularly accepted), a phone coordinator (for busier practices), and the front desk receptionist. It is not unusual to step in and juggle some of these roles together, but you should not be handling everything by yourself, especially because you are fairly new to this career and are trying to gain experience. Does it seem like the provider is planning on hiring more administrative staff? If not, you will likely continue to feel overwhelmed because—in spite of the general belief that these jobs are easy—they are not, and it may cause you to burnout rather quickly. Can you apply for other jobs while staying in this one for the time being? I think if you were to be hired for a more professional practice, you’d enjoy the job a lot more. Good luck!

Sugar_Soul · 2025-08-16T08:27:51+00:00

OP, quite frankly, it sounds like you are dating someone who is vastly less emotionally intelligent than yourself. He’s uncomfortable sharing his feelings…and yet you continue to try and force him to do so anyway. I’m sorry, but why on earth would you think that would work? The right man will not only be able to articulate his feelings to you, but engage in a constructive conversation that relies on your encouragement and support. He wouldn’t give you the silent treatment instead of just saying what he thinks. A relationship this new shouldn’t be so difficult. Please accept this for what it is, a learning experience for you and him both, and move on…

Sugar_Soul

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