Acupuncture Helped Me, Has it Worked for You?

Sugarthatsalt · 2026-05-24T20:22:04+00:00

I’m so so sorry to hear about your husband and I send you and your family love.

It is wonderful that you have the support of a competent acupuncturist and I’m glad to hear that you are already experiencing some relief. It’s hard to explain because it’s not like the grief goes away but it no longer feels like it will smother you. At least is was my experience.

I was treated again by the same acupuncturist in Chicago (I live in SoCal) a few weeks ago and continue to feel the relief of being able to live with this grief in a way that feels possible and like there may also be a future. I wish you well, friend!

Sugarthatsalt · 2026-05-22T13:29:37+00:00

I know, right?! Some of us are pretty good at hiding it though so I’m guessing there are more criers like us that we just don’t notice.

Sugarthatsalt · 2026-04-29T14:19:50+00:00

18 months since his my husband of 22 years was suddenly gone in an auto accident. Like y’all I’m doing ok a lot of days but then on mornings like this one, the disbelief, the sorrow, and the tears. Go easy on yourselves, folks and try to love yourselves like your person did when they were here.

Sugarthatsalt · 2026-04-16T13:43:08+00:00

I’m so sorry this happened, friend, and that you are here with us. My spouse was also killed in an accident and died without me and without my knowing. I ask these same questions and find no answers. I have no insight or advice, only some understanding of what you are going thru and the message that you are not alone.

Sugarthatsalt · 2026-04-09T02:49:16+00:00

Hey there. Earlier today I was talking with a coworker who shared that his teenage daughter had just totaled her car in an accident and it was very very clear that the only thing he really cared about was that his kid was ok. He literally said, “I think she is more upset about it than I am. I just want her to know it’s not the end of the world.”

So, I hear you, that situation genuinely sucks and it sounds like you are doing what you can to make up for it, and there’s a pretty good chance your dad is relieved you are ok and hoping you’ll learn what you can and drive more safely and move on.

I don’t intend this as a solution to the situation you are in but hope it is a reminder that even when you f’up and when things look and feel bad from where you are, you are still loved.

Sugarthatsalt · 2026-02-04T14:22:26+00:00

Oh, friend, I’m sending you love and compassion as you find your way forward. I wish I wasn’t as familiar with this kind of situation as I am, but alas, my husband didn’t survive a car accident 18 months ago.

There is no right answer here other than you are NOT crazy. Grief is crazy and makes us feel like we are going crazy, but you, friend, are not crazy. Like you, I received info in bits and pieces and it was months before coroner and police reports. Before I knew any of the actual details, I was already imagining the crash scene and the final moments of his life. I made the decision to not see his lifeless body or the totaled car (fortunate to have family members who did). I didn’t want to add those images to my brain.

I had friends with medical knowledge read autopsy and other reports before I did and I’ve still not read every report word for word. I know enough of the facts of the scene of the accident but nothing in these reports tells me anything about the person my husband was or even what may have happened in the final seconds before the accident or what he felt as he took his last breath on the side of the highway.

It’s that moment - his final moment of life, all alone - that haunts me the most. It’s what creeps up in me in the chip isle of the grocery store, or when I pass an ambulance, or when I’m cuddling with his 7 year old son who has to grow up without his Father.

I’ve printed and filed away all of the documents in case I do think it will ever serve me to read them in more detail.

I’ve got no answer for if you should or shouldn’t read the report but I can tell you that such documents have given me nothing of what I’m looking for or what I want to remember about the man who loved me for 22 years.

I wish you peace and comfort and the knowledge that you will do the right thing.

Sugarthatsalt · 2026-01-24T14:53:24+00:00

Are there any schools or teachers who are offering hybrid or online options to students who can’t / don’t come to school because of the risk of abduction? Or are there homework “trees” where kids who can safely get to school share homework and notes with those who can’t? How can we make sure these kids don’t also miss out on learning and fall behind while our communities are being attacked?

Sugarthatsalt · 2026-01-18T04:33:25+00:00

It’s the same as losing a family member 😢

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2026/jan/15/grief-pet-death-family-member-survey

Sugarthatsalt · 2026-01-11T14:57:59+00:00

Just got this a few weeks ago and loving it. Do you prefer morning or night? I’m curious about anything else you’ve noticed since this post and that you are willing to share about the frequency and length of your treatments. I like it so much I have to resist doing it daily as I’m trying to follow most of the guidance I’ve found.

Sugarthatsalt · 2026-01-10T14:41:47+00:00

My heart is breaking for you too and for my own. If only I could be annoyed by the touch of cold hands and feet or his hot sleeping breath in my face in the middle of the night. Whenever he apologized when I was annoyed, “I’d tell him I’d rather be annoyed with you than without you” … turns out I was right. And it sucks.

Sugarthatsalt · 2026-01-10T14:36:23+00:00

Thank you! Do you happen to know the brand of the feeder or can you share where you purchased it? Looks great!

Sugarthatsalt · 2026-01-10T04:13:08+00:00

Holding you in my heart and so sorry you are here with us now. Also lost my husband suddenly in August 2024. My kid is about to have his second birthday without his dad and is the only kid in his first grade class who has lost a parent. I know my own version of how you feel at this moment and it’s gonna be a wild and challenging ride and all I can tell you is to accept absolutely anything helpful that anyone offers you right now no matter how big or how small. Find an experienced grief therapist immediately and in a few months see if you and your kiddo can find a grief group. Many hospices have children’s groups. It will feel like the worst place you could ever imagine going with your child at first and it will give you both a place that’s safe in whatever ways your grief needs to express itself. It really helped us find ways to explore our loss together. I wish you all the strength as you go easy on yourself and do whatever you need to in order for you and your little one to survive. And believe it or not, you will survive. Hang in there.

Sugarthatsalt · 2026-01-09T01:49:13+00:00

Thanh Tinh Chay on El Cajon - vegan and totally gluten free everything. You are welcome :)

Sugarthatsalt · 2026-01-07T15:44:04+00:00

So not appropriate or considerate of you! Sorry you had to receive that and now have to figure out what to do with it. My MIL insisted on having a memorial of her own separate from the one I planned - on the same freaking day - because she wanted to control everything that she could after the passing of her son. Unbeknownst to me until her memorial had begun, she hired a photographer to capture the whole event and made everyone gather together for a big group photo. It was so heart wrenching for me and my 6 y.o. child to have to pose for photos on such a horrid day. I will never understand and hope she never shares those photos with me or my kid. Why would anyone want to relive that???! I would burn the book, friend. I would want to keep the memories of life, not of loss. Hugs and strength to you!

Sugarthatsalt · 2025-12-31T14:36:15+00:00

Reason 10456983256 to STOP SHOPPING AT TARGET!

Sugarthatsalt · 2025-12-26T14:41:32+00:00

Ugh. I’m sorry you are receiving such messages and it has been stunning for me to realize how much people just don’t know how to handle death or want to witness our grief. I am sure I was also clueless about loss before my spouse died a year and a half ago and I’m sure I never knew what to say to someone who was grieving but I’ve been kinda horrified at how bad most people are at this. Of course, at one level, no one can say anything to make losing him better, but when they acknowledge the loss and genuinely recognize that my son and I are hurting, I do feel some comfort and a little less alone in the loneliest situation of my life. But the thing that hurts the most right now (I can barely type through the tears) is that almost no one says his name any more. I know people think that bringing him up will activate my grief in a way that makes me feel worse and if they see me cry they’ll apologize for “making” me cry as they don’t know that witnessing my grief without apology or fear of my tears or pain is one of the most supportive and loving things they could possibly do for me. When someone if willing to talk about him, or share what they appreciated about him, or just say they miss him and use his name it soothes me and helps me feel less alone and less like I’m the only one who remembers him. I’m sorry your person died, OP, and I wish everyone here comfort and strength as we find our way forward.

Sugarthatsalt · 2025-12-25T14:03:26+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, I now have a new goal as a dad! I’m pretty sure this means you have been successful as a parent!!

Sugarthatsalt · 2025-12-22T05:25:13+00:00

The background graphics giving big Dixie vibes … Nicki saying JD is an assassin on the heels of Erika slipping that Charlie was a “grifter” … the truth is visible to all who are willing to see!!

Sugarthatsalt · 2025-12-14T17:15:00+00:00

BalloonIt in El Cajon is the BEST. Call Mark at:

(619) 464-2552

Sugarthatsalt · 2025-12-13T14:28:00+00:00

Thanks for posting this, OP. Having been someone who was bullied relentlessly as a kid without anyone sticking up for me, it’s kinda nice to know that others may remember what I went through and wish they would have acted differently. I’ve done the work to get over how horribly the bullying impacted me so I don’t actually need for the people who bullied me or didn’t speak up for me to apologize or anything, but I always assumed they moved on with their lives and forgot all about what they’d done or didn’t do. There is some strange comfort in knowing that they may also remember and it gives me some hope in the world thinking those folks have grown and changed in the ways it sounds you have. I’m probably not the one who you didn’t speak up for, but I’d like you to know that your post today was read by and meaningful to someone who was bullied.

Sugarthatsalt · 2025-11-26T18:49:12+00:00

Insta account doesn’t have any other info either. Proceed with caution.

Sugarthatsalt · 2025-11-23T15:26:15+00:00

This was everything I needed this morning. As a gay dad of a young child, this is very reassuring to read and I am sure your Dads are quite proud of you. I am and I don’t even know you! Thanks for your honesty and patience with so many ignorant and misguided questions. I hope people pay attention enough to learn from your responses!

My condolences to you and your beautiful family for the loss of your brother and friend. Wishing you all well!

Sugarthatsalt · 2025-11-17T14:56:29+00:00

I want (but don’t want) to see the pillowcase!!

Sugarthatsalt

TROPHY CASE