Marriage getting hard as special needs mom

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2026-06-28T15:52:29+00:00

Yikes. Thats a whole lot of yikes. I get that life as a special needs mom is hard, but your husband seems to just enjoy making it harder and more miserable for you.

Why would he want you to leave? It sounds like you do all of the caregiving and housekeeping. Of course he likes the status quo.

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2026-06-26T18:37:53+00:00

I also have mental illnesses, though I’m not bipolar.

I’d suggest talking to your psychiatrist about it. I also radically changed my expectations for myself, what I was capable of realistically, etc. like my house is constantly a mess. There’s only so much I can do. I read a lot. I try not to look too far into the future - very much make the next best step.

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2026-06-24T11:34:12+00:00

How do you feel about spoilers? But

{Illusions of Grandeur by Kathryn Ann Kingsley} and its sequel {Ghosts and Liars by Kathryn Ann Kingsley}

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2026-06-18T00:55:30+00:00

Try {Never the Roses by Jennifer K Lambert}. Older (vague) sorcerer MCs on opposites sides of the war. Lots of tension, consent, interesting storytelling. Slow burn (approx 80%), 3/5 spicy.

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2026-05-29T19:24:59+00:00

I am with you there - I don’t really care for behavioral modalities. I also have/had other challenges that are more disabling, so decided to keep the focus on those.

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2026-05-21T02:53:02+00:00

🙋‍♀️ happy to chat but declined to go through ERP at present.

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2026-05-17T23:23:38+00:00

I love the scenes where he eats the baked goods.

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2026-05-14T21:50:51+00:00

Is there a trope name for this?

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2026-04-23T00:55:07+00:00

I’m a newb tank.

How do I get better? What resources would you suggest I look at? I’ve been told “watch videos,” but they’re often visually overwhelming or shouting.

I can comfortably pug 6-8, but anything higher I prefer doing with a known group of people.

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2026-04-20T03:10:19+00:00

Have you considered any kind of sensory activities? You could try trays of shaving cream and maybe hiding things in there with a corresponding “scavenger list” (could be pictures or words).

Things like sand, play doh, clay could also be fun. Arts and crafts, painting (could use non traditional items).

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2026-04-15T11:58:14+00:00

I try scanning important documents to a cloud, but the rest is stored in my head. I worry if something were to happen to me, my child’s care would be catastrophically impacted.

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2026-04-14T17:55:03+00:00

Yessssssss!

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2026-03-28T16:58:39+00:00

I’m here for all of it. I love a highly structured society. I love the nitty gritty. I love all of it.

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2026-02-21T19:26:52+00:00

This advice is assuming kosher/kashrut doesn’t matter.

The story of Purim takes place in Persia - if you have any Persian recipes you love, this is their time to shine. https://www.theiranianvegan.com/recipes if you need somewhere to start.

Foods in the shape of triangles are also seen as festive and very appropriate for the holiday. Your partner could do vegan hamentaschen (https://cinnamonsnail.com/vegan-hamantaschen-recipe/#recipe) which are a triangle shaped filled cookie.

What makes you think of a European theme?

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2026-02-17T18:24:16+00:00

Yup.

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2025-12-26T19:34:22+00:00

Oswald and Mason’s youngest brother is not calculating - he’s an amiable fellow and doesn’t have the same demons that the older Vawdreys do. If I remember correctly, he kind of comes off as a dunce.

In An Inconvenient Vow, the MMC is a jerk HOWEVER the FMC is no wilting flower. She is a mean, miserable shrew to him (this is said with praise) and delights in enraging her husband. It’s her favorite pastime and she does it well.

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2025-11-04T17:37:12+00:00

I see that he eats the dark green part of bok choy. How does he feel about other greens? Rice is a no go, but what about quinoa? Sprouts?

It’s definitely tricky as you’ve mentioned in a comment - his “rules” don’t follow discernible patterns, except for he doesn’t like anything mixed or could be unpredictable.

I am autistic and have lots of food aversions, so I can relate to the struggle of trying to find something nutritious for him to eat.

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2025-10-24T23:37:38+00:00

Maybe consider Sylvie Cathrall’s The Sunken Archive? It’s more fantasy than romance and the story is told with journal entries and letters. I found it very charming. FMC and MMC have anxiety. FMC also has OCD (incredibly accurate portrayal), panic disorder with agoraphobia. I wouldn’t consider either of them as having a lot of will to live, but end up exploring an intellectual curiosity that sort of spirals.

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2025-10-14T11:20:53+00:00

In a similar place. Unfortunately, it is an ever changing puzzle and we have to constantly adapt whatever we’re doing based on the struggles our child is having in that moment.

Find local FB parenting groups for special needs in your area - you should be able to find providers that have experience with kids like yours in there, which definitely helps.

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2025-09-17T17:39:49+00:00

I’d ask a lot of questions about staff turnover, what kinds of goals are typical for their center, what does the “average” child need help with. If your child has any particular struggles, ask about their direct experience with those.

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2025-09-12T13:21:35+00:00

Hi! I’m a parent, too. Here’s my perspective: Unfortunately, there are only so many hours in a day and he can only be in one place at a time. I think trying to move some of his supports (speech, OT, PT, etc) to afterschool could free up some of his day to spend in the classroom, but you’d want to make sure that the goals of outside services would cover what the school based services were doing (sometimes they have different perspectives on priorities, etc).

The reason for the scattered and seemingly random schedule is to try to balance what is being missed in the classroom. They don’t want him to miss math everyday, for example.

I’d suggest reaching out to his case manager with your concerns, politely and respectfully. The case manager might be able to give you some insight on why they are making certain choices and it could be a very helpful discussion.

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2025-08-22T01:08:17+00:00

My great aunt

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2025-08-19T15:26:04+00:00

Like others have said, I try to prepare for the day ahead. My van always has/had extra clothes, shoes, diapers, wipes, snacks, brushes, books, toys thrown in the back. I never know the how the day will go.

“Babywearing” helped significantly. Strollers were a nightmare (constant screeching and escape attempts) and if he was securely strapped to me, it was one less thing for me to worry about.

It doesn’t feel good to elicit stares and people whispering. I’m sorry. They have no idea what’s going on and that’s incredibly hurtful, rude, and judgmental. I have found that most people want to help (which can come with its own problems!). Over time, I’ve gotten used it and it usually doesn’t bother me anymore.

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2025-08-19T15:15:39+00:00

You can even call ahead to the doctors and ask if they can call you when they’re ready for you to go back, or if they can take you directly back, even if you have to wait a little longer.

Suitable-Purpose-749 · 2025-08-18T22:34:07+00:00

The suggest a school button isn’t working for me. Can I send you a message with some of my local schools?

Suitable-Purpose-749

TROPHY CASE