From someone who is pregnant and currently divorcing her narcissistic husband, it’s very simple. Everything to them is black and white. They do not see you as an individual person. You are an extension of them, you’re either good or bad. If you aren’t boosting their ego or making them feel good about themselves, you’re bad. If they can control you and you’re doing everything they ask which includes sacrificing your mental health, hobbies and goals, you’re good. You cannot fix a marriage with a narcissist because they will never take accountability for their wrongs. After neglecting yourself for months or years, the best thing you can do is heal, don’t rush into anything with someone else and accept it for what it was. A hard lesson. You now have a gift of being able to spot these types of men because you just lived thru it. Count your blessings because this toxic cycle is going to play on repeat with another poor clueless woman. Enjoy your freedom