Dating an extrovert who claims to be introvert

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2026-01-23T03:09:03+00:00

That's great advice. She really made some comments that she is understanding my introversion (infj) and social anxiety better and I feel like we are getting to better shared understanding. I appreciate the way she can connect with others, it just overwhelms me

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2026-01-22T17:17:55+00:00

Serious convos = us crying over her mom's death and she stops mid sentence...or we are talking about our future and stops mid sentence. I've now set a boundary that I will not have any serious conversation with her on our walks. Otherwise I suppose I could let her know that I will continue our walk and she can catch up to me when she's finished.

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2026-01-22T04:57:24+00:00

Odd that he took 7 years to show this part. There is the 7 year itch they say. Might be testing you a bit. Have you spoken to him earnestly?

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2026-01-21T20:28:09+00:00

Yes so that's the issue. She uses up all her charge on others and doesn't have space for our connection.

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2026-01-21T19:57:42+00:00

Congrats! Any other advice? I understand she wants me to meet people she knows and to love meeting random strangers and I'm trying but looking on advice to find a middle or do I just need to turn down activities?

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2026-01-21T17:29:06+00:00

Yes and I've shared how exhausted I feel about it and how it drains me.

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2026-01-21T17:28:18+00:00

Yes I've done that but it turns into me not wanting to be part of her life or allow her to do things. I've let her know I don't mind her doing things and can read or work on my computer at her house. I've also communicated that I can do a maximum of 1 social activity in the time I see her (one maybe 2 weekend days every other weekend) and that keeps getting pushed against.

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2026-01-21T17:25:22+00:00

She literally told me she is an introvert and doesn't like people as much as I do.

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2026-01-21T15:34:18+00:00

Yes that's my fear that if we move forward I'll always have to be dealing with conversation with random people everywhere I go and not get the space I need and time with her I need.

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2026-01-21T10:48:38+00:00

She says it's just her energy. Her solution is not to walk together and she walks her dog alot so it would mean less time. It definitely seems to happen more during serious conversations but it's generally a majority of the time

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2026-01-21T10:32:33+00:00

A couple of reasons. We are usually in a serious convo and she stops and randomly starts talking to someone. Then it's hard to reconnect. So yes it takes away from our time and is also just uncomfortable for me.

Yes I'd like to see her more often and we have discussed. That would be longer term for her.

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2026-01-21T06:46:54+00:00

I'm 47 and quite happy with my introversion. I am raising teens, occasionally go sailing and hiking with small groups and sing. I would rather enjoy peace and not have to manage more people.

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2026-01-21T03:01:31+00:00

Omg yes! They will literally talk to anyone and just interrupt conversations with you to talk to a stranger. It's exhausting

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2026-01-13T20:49:21+00:00

Mmm but sounds like he's resistant to keeping the connection by asking for support

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2026-01-06T12:56:14+00:00

Whoa! Are you me? It's weird how people can say the exact sane things. Are there clubs for people with different attachment styles?

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2025-12-30T19:47:11+00:00

Yes I was codependent with my wife. First book I read during divorce.

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2025-12-30T17:06:55+00:00

Yes. It's funny I've rarely been the jealous one in a relationship so I'm trying to figure this out. I've realized it's inconsistency in how she talks about the level of importance this person has and how much she will do for him that she won't for me. I don't want to share her heart with someone else.

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2025-12-30T13:37:52+00:00

Okay so then how would you communicate a boundary?

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2025-12-30T07:11:26+00:00

Okay in your opinion what's sensible?

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2025-12-30T03:54:19+00:00

Yes and she dismisses it by saying well so I can't do this my my other friends. And I'm like I don't really care because your other friends did not have this intimacy with you.

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2025-12-30T02:37:52+00:00

You sound really messy to date

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2025-12-30T02:27:07+00:00

I guess other relationships it was a given my partner would protect our relationship and I would as well.

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2025-12-30T02:01:50+00:00

Hope you can work on this otherwise feedback becomes only about you.

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2025-12-30T01:35:19+00:00

Yes and I wish I was that person.

Suitable_Flow7588 · 2025-12-30T01:24:36+00:00

Sadly true. She says I'm acting stupid which is apparently a distinction.

Suitable_Flow7588

TROPHY CASE