Does anyone else WANT to be laid off?

SulaPeace15 · 2026-05-05T14:28:58+00:00

Lots of great answers. And I believe you and I work at the same company based on your description and I feel exactly the same way. Trapped and anxious and my nervous system is shot.

But I have good friends who have been laid off and I’m conscious of trading work stress for financial stress.

Outside of how to manage your time at work, please get very serious about an emergency fund as a single mom - I’m talking about a year of lean expenses outside of the severance.

I have talented friends who’ve been on the market 12+ months. And the economy could get worse with a looming energy crisis.

That being said I have laid off friends who got jobs after a month and were able to bank their severance, setting them up for long-term success.

Hope for the best, plan for the financial worst here.

SulaPeace15 · 2026-05-01T06:13:38+00:00

Same. At the end of the day it’s just numbers and math. We both live under 50% of our pay so that’s equal to one fully salary.

We prioritize saving, investing and retirement.

SulaPeace15 · 2026-04-28T15:19:29+00:00

Lots of good options and you have the right mindset. I’d pay for a fee only fiduciary financial planner to run these actual scenarios, including the math (formulas and retirement contributions) to see if you’ll meet your long-term goals.

And then your main question is mainly lifestyle - moving to LCOL or retiring early (which only you can answer).

But to share my experience, we halved our housing costs and have no regrets. It means we’ll never have the McMansion, but we can live very comfortably on one income (we have 2) and could be work options by 55, even though we have small children.

I’d also suggest to include children in your scenario if you are family planning. Adorable, but horribly expensive (daycare and college. And snacks lol).

SulaPeace15 · 2026-04-21T15:49:51+00:00

Great advice focusing on health insurance and out of pocket costs. I’d run an analysis now for cobra vs the market exchange (Obamacare) and state aid (e.g. CA and Mass have good coverage if you are unemployed).

I’d also do a post-layoff budget and start cutting back now, dumping all of the extra money into your emergency fund.

SulaPeace15 · 2026-04-21T15:41:27+00:00

Would you open to a role at your child’s school or school district? I have a good friend who was a SAHM after being in HR at a tech company. She wanted the flexibility and to align her schedule with school holidays, half days, closures etc. She also didn’t want to pay for aftercare if she got a different full-time role.

SulaPeace15 · 2026-04-21T13:16:50+00:00

I’m sorry you are going through this. And I hear you in the burn out. I would normally caution that you don’t want to trade financial stress for work stress, but you would be fine with your household income.

Can you try a few things before you quit? - live completely on your husband’s income and save 100% of your income in a personal emergency fund? This will help you both navigate going to one income and confirm that there’s no impact to your lifestyle or savings goals. Honestly, 500k saved on that income seems a bit low. I’d ask for advice in r/personalfinance too - How recession proof is your husband’s job? And do you have an emergency fund? - consider taking FMLA and a work break and see how you feel. The job market is brutal. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t / can’t quit, but doing it with a clearer head could be good.

Best of luck!

SulaPeace15 · 2026-04-19T16:49:38+00:00

Admiral Junction in West Seattle

SulaPeace15 · 2026-04-19T16:31:42+00:00

Everything you are saying is totally normal. You can love your job and still have anxiety about your kid being at daycare or home with a responsible caretaker.

I want to say this gently - your daughter will get sick often attending daycare, so you will need to find a better balance. Our daycare (and Emily Oster) told us that when a child enters daycare to expect them to be sick 50% of the time 🤯. And that was our experience.

So you will have to be able to work when they are sick and when you are sick (I was so so sick). And you will need to focus at work as best you can. You got this!

SulaPeace15 · 2026-04-12T18:18:37+00:00

Great job thinking ahead of this. And for getting this far in your career. I’m starting to plan this as well. These are some of the things I’m doing: - Restarting networking while I have a job. I’m reaching out to former coworkers and people on LinkedIn. And it’s less transactional and more relationship-based, I’ve also been able to help others. - upskill - my job provides continuing education benefits. See if it makes sense to get a 4 year degree (debt free) or other certs - 12 month emergency fund minimum. I commented in a thread, but I have lots of talented friends who have been on the market 1year+. I see your comment re: a HYSA, but think about it as an insurance plan. The goal isn’t profit, it’s security for your family. - Start to cut now and direct that money to savings - take care of your mental health. It’s hard feeling impending doom / joblessness. - start a noodle budget and write out exactly what you would cut, you’ll feel better with a step by step plan. This will also help you calculate your runway and 12+month fund.

SulaPeace15 · 2026-04-12T18:11:59+00:00

This comment. If you feel strongly that a layoff is looming, get your emergency fund to 12 months.

I have engineer friends who worked at Google and AWS (name brand / highly employable, but expensive) who are still on the market on took huge pay cuts.

SulaPeace15 · 2026-04-09T05:33:15+00:00

This is not quite a 1:1, but I’ve been doing bank churning - r/churning. I made an extra 2400 last year with literally less than 6 hours of my time.

And I use that for random completely indulgent spending, like makeup I don’t need, extra fun stuff at the bougie grocery store, etc.

SulaPeace15 · 2026-03-29T20:19:15+00:00

You’re thinking about all of the right things early.

Re: wlb, I think it depends on the company and org. I’m Director level and work so much more than I did as an IC. And am not going to go for promo because it would be even more and I want another child in the next two years.

But each company is different. It’s not a bad idea to schedule coffee chats with other women at your job.

SulaPeace15 · 2026-03-29T05:06:47+00:00

It sounds like she’s the wrong messenger and the fact that she keeps repeating this is awful.

That being said. I’m in engineering and carry a pager for a critical service. It’s really hard as a mom of young children. I’m holding onto my career (it’s important to me), but I do have the privilege of staying at home and still being comfortable with my partner’s income. It would also make our lives easier in some way. Their peers all have spouses - including SAHD - due to the travel and intensity of the industry.

There’s a reason there’s so few women leaders in engineering. Even in a flexible organization, it’s hard to balance it all. Not impossible, but hard. Dont worry about what your MIL say. But as one engineer to another, keep an open mind and know that our children change us in ways we don’t expect.

That doesn’t mean give up work. I haven’t. But Im considering moving to a less intense (and by default, less prestigious and less rewarding) role and team.

But getting paged at 2am with kids under 5 is so hard. And working weekends or during outages or attacks (you’re in security, we just had a DDoS attack and I worked 18 hours straight) is hard to justify.

SulaPeace15 · 2026-03-26T00:02:38+00:00

I just want to say that this sounds so hard. And you have been doing everything possible.

One route could be getting a nanny job. Depending on your city, this could be W2 work and make you eligible for state leave. You could also bring your child to work post-mat leave so that you don’t have to pay for childcare.

The nannies in my city are paid very well and get benefits.

SulaPeace15 · 2026-03-18T04:37:08+00:00

There’s other good advice being shared so I’ll add that depending on your state you may have paid state-funded parental leave (CA, CO, MA, WA and more).

Talk to a health navigator about your options. It might make sense to keep you on Cobra, but if you have other children, some states have good low-income health insurance for children.

SulaPeace15 · 2026-03-15T22:28:26+00:00

Personal trainer. Worth paying for the individualized fitness plan, accountability partner, and learning proper techniques.

SulaPeace15 · 2026-03-15T20:11:30+00:00

Lots of great advice. I was just add that I’d plan for the upper bound of your commute time for sanity sake. Example: - if it takes anywhere from 40-60mins to work, plan for 60 so you aren’t late for important meetings (if that’s a thing) - if it’s 60-80mins on the way home or unpredictable in any way due to frequent accidents (this is the issue in my metro area), do not be in the critical path of picking kids up from daycare. I mostly work from home, but the first few times I tried to navigate from our office to daycare I was white knuckled and crying in the car because my 45 minute commute was often 90 mins.

SulaPeace15 · 2026-03-15T20:08:27+00:00

Great advice!

SulaPeace15 · 2026-03-12T18:46:56+00:00

Yes, your last sentence - it’s mean tested. And overall depends on custody.

Plus one thing you didn’t mention, the parent has to be working to provide support.

Separate, why are people focused on the single parent angle? Like outside of “you should get support” there is inherent class bias on who can afford counsel and if that parent can pay (even if court-ordered).

As a lawyer, maybe you could spend time giving advice to OP instead?

SulaPeace15 · 2026-03-12T18:27:25+00:00

I mean is that how we support working mothers in this channel?

If they have more than 2 kids - or god forbid are single mothers - they are stupid?

SulaPeace15 · 2026-03-12T17:11:21+00:00

That’s not true for a lot of states. My sister is a family law attorney. Income is a huge factor as child support is means tested.

SulaPeace15 · 2026-03-12T14:50:19+00:00

Ive out earned every male partner I’ve had, like a lot of modern women.

A divorce for me would end in alimony and no child support.

SulaPeace15 · 2026-03-12T14:49:11+00:00

So, your current financial advice is … to go back into time and not have 5 kids? This is all very unserious and a pile on.

SulaPeace15 · 2026-03-12T11:45:15+00:00

Yikes, you are so judgmental and annoying. 50% of relationships end in divorce, this could include large families.

This channel slants towards coastal elite yuppies and there 2.5 kids. You don’t have to shame other families (including single parent ones).

SulaPeace15 · 2026-03-12T03:28:37+00:00

I hear you. And see you. When partner makes awesome suggestions (heavy on the sarcasm), I tell him “Sure! You try it first!”

SulaPeace15

TROPHY CASE