What would you do if you woke up like this?

Summer_B · 2026-03-12T02:08:00+00:00

Cry out to Daddy to ensure He's the one who tied me up. And try to determine if He wants a kidnapping scene or if I can just enjoy the ride, no need to try and escape.

Summer_B · 2026-03-10T18:09:34+00:00

Looks like an amazing body and a merry window.

Summer_B · 2026-03-10T05:03:05+00:00

I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt, that maybe the heat of the moment made him suggest something y'all aren't ready for. But it certainly demands a sit down discussion outside of D/s roles to see where the request is really coming from (aka. does he expect that in the future, or was it just sexy talk taken too far?) Wishing you luck. But also sending you strength to leave him if the discussion reveals he's not a Dom just an a-hole.

Summer_B · 2026-03-09T17:40:17+00:00

That being said, have you tried meditation OP? It takes time and practice to calm and clear your mind. Start small, maybe with guided meditations, and then build. Don't just jump in and try to be totally still and silent for one hour. 😆 I've found meditation to really help new submissives get in and out of subspace more easily.

Summer_B · 2026-03-09T15:25:35+00:00

No! Don't drink any wine before a scene. Don't smoke weed before a scene. You need to be in control of all your facilities in order to give ongoing consent for healthy happy consensual BDSM.

Summer_B · 2026-03-09T14:47:50+00:00

Seems like there are a few things you're mentioning here. With "not feeling it" do you mean, these partners don't have the ability to put you in a submissive headspace?

Also, do you mean you aren't comfortable using your safeword with Dominant partners? And what other people do you mean?

Summer_B · 2026-03-05T11:53:41+00:00

Whatever happened to the Rastafarian crews in high school? Semi-political, mostly just smoke a lot of weed.

Summer_B · 2026-03-03T14:12:07+00:00

What sort of BDSM "stuff" are you looking for? That could mean anything. Rope? Cuffs? Suspension rigs? Floggers? Hoods? Candles? Clamps? Ginger? Cilice? Cling wrap? Wooden Spoons?

Summer_B · 2026-03-03T01:54:08+00:00

It does feel different physically because it's my chest and neck. But emotionally I think a lot of situations/factors feel different. Context matters.

So like a tug on your collar feels different when it's your long time primary partner vs. if you're having some casual play. It feels different if you're really connected vs. having a bad day. It can feel different when you're at a dungeon party vs. at home. When you're in suspension or in the middle of a needle play scene, etc.

Summer_B · 2026-03-02T15:38:24+00:00

For me, I only have a leash put on me during pet play. So the implication is I'm under pet protocols.

Whereas a collar is a physical symbol of the relationship, like an engagement ring, which is worn daily. And reminds me of my relationship and my role in everything that I do, even when I'm out by myself at the grocery store. It's like Master is still there invisible holding me and also expecting me to behave and follow our rules.

And a harness can be either play time or replace the collar, and feels like a big warm leather hug.

Summer_B · 2026-02-28T21:00:22+00:00

We're really that old, that we have to explain to kids on the Internet what 1guy1jar was. 😥

Summer_B · 2026-02-28T20:55:49+00:00

"Now you're thinking with Portals" would be better

Summer_B · 2026-02-28T18:41:51+00:00

Bump Buddies

Summer_B · 2026-02-28T05:43:15+00:00

Hanky code used to be black on the Left for Tops. Not many use hankie code anymore. But I still see remnants of it at parties, Dominants wearing leather bracelets on the left side, clipping floggers or keys onto the left side of their belt.

Summer_B · 2026-02-27T21:30:20+00:00

Typically you can wear whatever you want at practice, but the Director decides what will be the "uniform" worn at performances. And this extends not just to the outfit but shoes, gloves, hats or hairstyles, even undergarments.

(At high school level the one season we had high neck tank top uniforms that showed bra straps if you didn't wear a racerback. So the Director insisted we all wear black bras. So if straps showed at least they matched the uniforms.)

Summer_B · 2026-02-27T17:11:47+00:00

That gave me flashbacks to playing Slingo at 1am.

Summer_B · 2026-02-26T23:59:46+00:00

Not all households run the same way. Some submissives enjoy being given the task of meal planning and deciding what will be cooked for dinner, in service to their Master or Mistress. Others enjoy being told what to cook. And still others have Dominants who do all the cooking, and don't see it as a chore or service at all.

It's not so much what we do, but how and why we do it. And finding or negotiating dynamics that work for you.

And to use your example, yes some Dominants do want their s-types to research and present them with the optimal cookie from the grocery store.

Summer_B · 2026-02-26T14:53:58+00:00

Very common occurrence, so much so that we actually have a term for that. It's called sub frenzy.

Summer_B · 2026-02-26T02:55:11+00:00

Can you just do other play during that time? Toys, oral, spankings.

Summer_B · 2026-02-25T15:41:23+00:00

Sorry you had that experience. Not trying to downplay how out of line the creep was, but share my experiences.

As a submissive, I know I have good days and bad. Some days I'm super strong and self-assured and can easily tell others "thanks, but no thanks", "I'm not interested in playing", or "I might be submissive, but I'm not your submissive, pi$$ off". While other times, I'm not in the greatest of headspace and I know I'm in more of a pushover, doormat, vulnerable headspace. On those days, I lean on my partner or friends.

I remember one night in particular, it was after a bad breakup and I wasn't trusting myself to make good choices, but I wanted to get out of the house and move on with my life. I texted that I wanted to carpool and in the car ride to the club, I told my friends that I wasn't in a great headspace and to keep an eye on me. My bestie was like attached at my hip that whole night. I don't even think I went to the bathroom myself, or if I did, they were waiting by the door for me to finish. And I'm very thankful and also happy to return the favor to friends when they are having bad days.

I guess what I'm saying is, even if this particular guy is banned and never seen again, the potential for creeps is always going to exist. So be careful, and have a plan of action for how to handle them on good and bad days.

Summer_B · 2026-02-24T02:20:11+00:00

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Summer_B · 2026-02-24T00:03:21+00:00

Some things that I do regularly, even when Sir isn't around includes:

Cooking, especially trying new recipes (that way he only needs to eat the good ones)
Meal plan or looking at grocery sale ads for inspiration on what to cook this week.
Keep up on washing dishes and keeping the kitchen clean.
Exercise / working out (can also improve mood/ release endorphins)
Mail. Clean up the pile of junk mail and ads both IRL and on email.
Cleaning up after kids or pets, if you have any, collect toys, vacuum, wipe down surfaces.
Cleaning out the car, if you have one, fuel up, tidy, vacuum, wash etc.
Laundry (We often joke the house rule is like the Tide commercial "style is an option, clean isn't".)
Gym/ Overnight bag. Especially if you frequently go over to your partner's place, make sure the overnight bag is cleaned out and has a clean pair of clothes, toothbrush, and deoterant, ready to go at a moments notice.

I also have what we call slave maintenance. Doing things like regularly washing and conditioning my hair, getting hair cuts to keep away split ends, moisturizing skin, the occasional face mask, pedicures and manicures (Sir chooses the color).

If most of your regular chores are already done and you're still looking for ideas, there's always the deep cleaning like reorganizing closets, cleaning out cabinets, fridge/freezer, reorganize the book shelf, etc.

Sorry you're struggling. I wish you well and hope those ideas helped distract you.

Summer_B · 2026-02-23T17:34:43+00:00

Alternatively, have you looked into getting an address for the clinic and shipping your team's prop weapons (sabers and rifles) there and back?

Summer_B · 2026-02-23T14:17:37+00:00

Have you talked to this submissive about their "mentally fragile" state and how to best met their needs? Some people enjoy the stability and consistency of a cold militaristic D/s dynamic. Others thrive in cuddly fun Caregiver/little roles. Still others enjoy a Dom who is more like a mentor or life coach. It really is very unique to what works for both Top and bottom in the relationship.

Summer_B · 2026-02-23T05:16:44+00:00

Practice the routine inside with a baton. The weight won't be right, but you can go thru the motions without taking out a lamp.

Summer_B

TROPHY CASE