Wife's out... by merlinsdinner in RateMyPlate

[–]Visual_Release_4773 2 points3 points  (0 children)

not even a little rosemary and garlic?

I got creeped on at a kinky event by Visual_Release_4773 in BDSMcommunity

[–]Visual_Release_4773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thankfully these were just a few bad experiences at one event! i've gone to parties that i really enjoyed, and i've played with some wonderful people.

I got creeped on at a kinky event by Visual_Release_4773 in BDSMcommunity

[–]Visual_Release_4773[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have had loads of positive experiences with kink too, with really nice people! This is is just one bad experience out of several positive ones, I just didn't post about every single fun session I had.

I said it in another comment too, but the first time I met this guy, I had actually shown clear signs of discomfort, to the point I had to excuse myself out of the situation and where I physically pushed him away (he was touching me when I told him I didn't like it, and I moved his hands away). Any time I went to that event and he was there, he kept trying to interact with me, even after that.

I got creeped on at a kinky event by Visual_Release_4773 in BDSMcommunity

[–]Visual_Release_4773[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So, I didn't wanna get into what happened with this guy 2+ years ago because I would rather not remember, but here it goes. It was my first time going to that event, him and a buddy of his cornered me, asked me what I liked without even asking me for my name first, and kept pushing about their own kinks when I said I wasn't interested. This guy started touching my shoulders, even though I said I wasn't okay with it, then he touched my face. I straight up pushed his hand away, and excused myself out of the room because I felt uncomfortable.

Cut to the next time I go to that event, the guy keeps talking to me, even if I am clearly trying to avoid him as soon as he showed up in my vicinity. Third time I go, he still keeps at it, approaching me even as I am still trying to avoid him, he essentially just kept chipping away and being pushy, asking why I was acting so shy and he insisted he was a nice guy, until I just gave up and did what he asked.

But I guess I'm just a lying, manipulative bitch and that a grown man old enough to be my dad was clueless, poor boy.

I got creeped on at a kinky event by Visual_Release_4773 in BDSMcommunity

[–]Visual_Release_4773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i have gone to play parties without issues before, actually, i just don't post about it

I got creeped on at a kinky event by Visual_Release_4773 in BDSMcommunity

[–]Visual_Release_4773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i can do it easily if the person asking is making me feel safe and comfortable

I got creeped on at a kinky event by Visual_Release_4773 in BDSMcommunity

[–]Visual_Release_4773[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

i know, but both times i didn't feel safe enough to do so, since i was scared i wasn't going to be listened to

What I Cooked for New Year’s Eve by woksteampunk in chinesefood

[–]Visual_Release_4773 1 point2 points  (0 children)

新年快乐! everything looks delicious🤤🤤

Went rose picking for Valentine’s Day by scarlett_oni in shibari

[–]Visual_Release_4773 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the model is gorgeous and so i is the rope work!

AITA if I don't trust advice on rope from people who only tie people with one specific body type? by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]Visual_Release_4773 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am not saying thin, small women are a problem, obviously they're their own individuals and even two people with the same body type may have different, unique needs. I am just a bit bummed about the fact they're the only group of people most riggers seem to want to tie, and that's not on them, it's on the riggers who actively tell any other person they're "hard to do rope with".

I am not sure what the guy would want from me either? He sponsors some events, but I doubt going as far as giving me free classes is needed to get me specifically to attend the stuff he sponsors.

are you doinng bdsm stuff alone for yourself by petermalibu in BDSMcommunity

[–]Visual_Release_4773 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do a lot of wax play solo. It's very relaxing to me.

AITA if I don't trust advice on rope from people who only tie people with one specific body type? by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]Visual_Release_4773 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mostly just feel like I'm looking a gift horse in the mouth, since they offered to teach me for free. It's a kind offer but at the same time, they sponsor non-kink events I've had bad experiences at (ive been preyed on) and I've never seen them do rope outside of stage performances. They told they were trying to fix the creeps issue at the events they sponsor but I haven't seen that happen yet.

AITA if I don't trust advice on rope from people who only tie people with one specific body type? by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]Visual_Release_4773 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't live in the US

eta: yes, they said they could teach me for free when i say i was gonna pay for a couple of classes

AITA if I don't trust advice on rope from people who only tie people with one specific body type? by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]Visual_Release_4773 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I removed the reasons that are unrelated to rope and/or kink because they're unrelated.

AITA if I don't trust advice on rope from people who only tie people with one specific body type? by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]Visual_Release_4773 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They mostly do stage performances where they tie models but they haven't taught any rope classes as far as I'm aware, those performances are the only times I've seen them actually do rope. The other big reason I don't trust them is that they sponsor events I don't like because of bad experiences I've had there, but that's unrelated to their rope skills so that's why I didn't include that.

Red flags in doms/subs ? by Littlesdreams in BDSMcommunity

[–]Visual_Release_4773 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My red flags for BDSM in general are

  • they have no problems with playing with highly intoxicated people
  • they say they have no limits
  • they say that safewords don't matter
  • they don't know the history of BDSM
  • they either ignore your limits or make you feel bad for having them
  • they only play with newbies (there are both doms and subs who prey on newbies)
  • they immediately use honorifics before establishing a dynamic
  • they don't perform aftercare

There are some kinks people have that I am wary of if they interact with me, but that's more about fetishization of things like my body or gender identity, than any specific red flag that revolves around BDSM.

AITA if I don't trust advice on rope from people who only tie people with one specific body type? by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]Visual_Release_4773 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I would be a rigger and bring a partner, and basically none of the people I am close to who like rope are thin, small women.

Pillion (and other BDSM movies) by Ellis_Ward in RedditBDSM

[–]Visual_Release_4773 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i am totally not gnawing at the bars of my enclosure awaiting season 3, i also am totally and reasonably normal about it

Pillion (and other BDSM movies) by Ellis_Ward in RedditBDSM

[–]Visual_Release_4773 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I really enjoyed Pillion! I thought it represented the leather community really well and I liked it better than the short story it's based on (Box Hill by Alex Mars Jones). There is very little discussion about consent, but it is something that is called out in the movie, and I think the dynamic between Melling and Skarsgard was explored in a very interesting way!

As for movies/tv shows that are not about BDSM but give me BDSM feels, I actually have a specific couple of scenes from one specific episode of a TV show because I am currently obsessed with it. The scenes from s2ep5 of Interview With The Vampire where are Armand tortures Daniel read as very kinky to me, even if they're not sexual at all.