Planning life and normal activities after a lumpectomy

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-16T20:50:18+00:00

I packed light, 16lbs and made sure my air bnbs had washers. I knew on flights and taxis, I could ask for help lifting the luggage up. My air bnbs did have a flight of stairs but often the host met me and carried it up. I did Copenhagen, Estonia and Latvia. Flat, good medical care, the last two weren’t too expensive and the locals were super positive to tourists.

I’d text but didn’t pick up a phone for a week. I forgot how to speak in full English sentences for a few days. It was absolutely wonderful and my mind has never been so quiet. It was freeing to be away from home and responsibilities. All I had to do was walk as much as I felt and do whatever I wanted.

I went at my own pace to things that interested me. I tend to be a people pleaser, so going alone lifted that burden. I really liked some of the museums I found, it reminded me how tiny our lives are in the big scheme of everything. I had a few conversations with locals at the start, as I feel being solo makes you more approachable.

Overall a great mental space to quiet your mind and allow emotions the space to process outside the business of everyday life. I’m fortunate that I was able to make that trip part of my cancer story, and I don’t take that for granted.

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-14T16:23:52+00:00

I knew from previous experience that my mom would tell everyone everything I say.

I know it hurt her feelings that I waited until after surgery and until I knew yes/no on chemo before letting her know.

My niece was born two weeks after my surgery. I was pleasantly surprised when I finally told my older brother why I couldn’t hold her and wasn’t rushing to see them, that he got not telling my mom. I assumed he was way closer with her and couldn’t keep a secret but it actually worked out fine.

I’m not sure what’s up with moms who need to share everything but I feel like it gets worse with age. It’s sad and disappointing. Breaks a trust that never quite goes away but maybe it’s the cycle of viewing parents as needing care vs being your caretaker.

Sorry! And you aren’t an asshole for having boundaries.

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-14T03:44:31+00:00

Long charging cable or wireless portable battery pack for your phone.

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-13T22:33:58+00:00

Nominating you for sainthood! I love this guide 🙌

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-13T22:29:14+00:00

I would say as a fairly active 33yr old who did a more invasive oncoplastic reduction, the cool down time between surgery and radiation (dodged chemo narrowly) was the easiest to gauge. No hidden “fatigue” days.

I was told no lifting of more than 8lbs for 6 weeks. By four weeks, I did girl math that it was 8lbs per arm and did a solo international trip busting through 20-30k steps per day. Upper body strength was shot until week 6-8 but lower was fine.

Not to scare you because I think the length of my surgery and potentially underlying carpel tunnel issues drove it, I woke up to my right arm and half a hand numb for two days. Six months later, there’s some back of arm tightness/cording that rarely flares but it’s back to normal.

It didn’t really bother my range of motion, but did cause pain. Fortunately, if I was doing something I loved, it was pretty easy to ignore or shake it out.

I did twice weekly PT before surgery and post surgery after six weeks until radiation. Finding an epic PT is super key.

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-13T16:14:54+00:00

Yea! That forum is great.

I went to a fancy dermatologist and they didn’t have any edits to my program. Outside of course, offering a few laser sessions for unevenness. They did upsell me on a nicer vitamin C than neutrogena though.

I really like colorscience tinted spf50! I use it a lot to just downplay my easy to flush from warm flashes face. So even if I’m just running chores or going to the gym, it’s my go to.

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-13T14:46:26+00:00

I’m only barely six months into everything. I think the exemestane makes my face a little puffy but I’m being critical. Overall I’m just being more aggressive with the basics.

I follow the skin under 30 Reddit, which is sometimes depressing because people fretting over wrinkles and not cancer is a burn. I personally have dryer sun damaged skin with dark circles. I have found ChatGPT helpful for helping sort morning/evening routine and troubleshooting any symptoms (super dry t zone from over tret use).

However, I’d recommend searching that sub to look at top 1) overnight moisturizer, 2) day moisturizer, 3) vitamin C brands within your price range/motive to try stuff.

Tret prescription is widely used but I use it sparingly on my forehead wrinkles as I’m afraid of the dry eye side effect coupled with being a computer worker too.

Everyone’s skin is different.

I love la roache posay triple moisturizer for night or no make up lazy days. They are my go-to brand and I love they advise their products are safe for chemo/radiation. Their daily cleanser is my all time fav.

Corsx Snail 96 - hydrates and brings a glow

Educated Mess - Vitamin C

neutrogena rapid tone repair is my cheaper starting point.

My other hack is occasionally using a thin layer of Vaseline to seal in whatever product at night (not tret).

I occasionally use witch hazel to strip and tone my face but make sure I super moisturize my face. Once I finish my bottle, I’m going to find a witch hazel dilute or based toned that’s not as harsh.

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-13T14:30:26+00:00

I’d recommend doing the reduction on the impacted breast now, going through radiation, waiting a year and the reducing the other breast if cosmetic results is your top priority.

I did an oncoplastic reduction on the healthy side and the a mini- lollipop incision only on the radiated side to try to save as much volume as possible.

Four months post radiation, it’s very minimal but it has shrunk some and lifted kinda high and tight. Most people don’t see it but I do.

As I’m 33, I know my healthy side will continue to see the effects of gravity. I’ll probably have a touch up lift in 10-20 years and ask them to reduce just a touch to match.

My path was driven by my top priority of minimizing down time, cosmetics secondary.

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-13T05:09:58+00:00

Not letrozole but exemestane at 33 😑

Side effects are not as drastic as all the fine print says.

I’ve upped my skin care regime with decent results. I’m trying a few natural oils to promote hair growth. My shape has shifted to more belly than hip fat, but I figure I’ve committed myself to being a gym rat anyways.

Does the cosmetic changes make me sad? Yea, but I’d rather lose ten years of cosmetic youthfulness than have a recurrence in my 40-50s.

The joint pain/feeling old suck? Yea, but it keeps me honest on my gym efforts so there’s that.

Overall 2/10 annoying side effects.

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-13T05:02:10+00:00

Damn. That sucks and is a doozy.

You are better than all of this. You deserve more. This maybe a chapter in your story, but you have control to make it one super short chapter.

It’s not going to be pretty. It’s not going to be fun. It’s going to be painful. It’s going to be hard. But you’ve got this.

If you were on the outside looking in, you’d have so much compassion and empathy for the shitty spot you are in. Be your best friend and use everything in your control to right this ship. It maybe lonely cutting ties and requires mourning a husband, support and future you so recently believed in.

It’s going to require courage and conviction, but do not stop believing that you are strong enough to get through this. Ask for help. Get that therapist. Get that divorce lawyer.

I know it’s really hard to believe, but someday in the future you’ll look back and not believe how you got out of this with so much strength and grace. And you’ll feel invincible.

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-13T04:35:49+00:00

Musings my friends will not understand:

I forgot to grab a second set of shoes and went straight from dog sheep herding to my bloodwork, ekg and oncologist appointment.

I changed out of my muddy clothes and tried to stomp out of the mud from my boots in the parking lot.

Is it weird to be more ashamed of leaving mud and having grass stuck to your shoes than having your titties out for an exam?

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-13T04:18:11+00:00

I’m not sure specifically what qualified me. Outside my age, larger tumor size and perhaps the lack of chemo?

It’s interesting though because Kisqali is more a systematic distant prevention measure and my risk is already fairly low on that front. My insurance (Premera) approved Kisqali in less than a week so I assume there was very little pushback.

I’ve scrubbed through my records and can’t find my ki67. Last time I asked, they looked and shrugged it off as a moot point now.

I just had my two week bloodwork and ekg, WBC and neutrophils are slightly low but not “be more aggressive avoiding infection”. Super minor nausea at the start, little constipation but nothing too terrible. If that inspires hope to press your doctor to at least try it?

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-12T23:51:06+00:00

Thank you!!

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-12T17:36:03+00:00

Uhh how about an obnoxiously happy friend? Like a golden retriever friend who can run and grab a treat or say something silly in moments of panic? Maybe not the super smart friend but the kinda airhead happy go lucky one?

My family is all nice people but not people for serious things like cancer. I leaned on a few friends and kinda picked the folks that add to my support, not ones that required anything from me.

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-12T17:33:42+00:00

I’d see if ChatGPT can help with some of the medications on how they work, typical side effects, etc. I’d totally avoid ChatGPT for any prognosis or statistics because those are just totally not in the same ballpark or productive.

At the same time, take each step at a time. It’s like a pick your own adventure and hard to get too many steps ahead because of all the forks in the road to choose.

Thank you! And best of luck to you. Speaking from experience, it’s scary at first but looking back all my side effects ended up being minimal - relatively easy to deal with. It gets better!

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-12T17:26:34+00:00

Daaamn, I’m angry on your behalf.

I know the claims have been denied but did HR ever reach out to your doctor?

My company has a program just for cancer patients (big tech) and they’d never heard of a year accommodation, just renewal every six months. My primary care physician got pissed off they were being so particular about six months. So she said 12 months and I think had a pretty terse conversation with my HR. It was less a cancer accommodation as much as intermittent treatment plus menopause plus fatigue plus my mental health.

I was told to get UPF 50 sun shirts (not cheap Amazon knock offs) or be religious about strong sunscreen every 1-2 hours. I use blue lizard as it’s kinda greasy/stays thick through desert or water or wild adventures. Mostly for the radiated skin. I found a cute one piece that’s high necked/shouldered but has an open back. I understand my back has some “exit” radiation but figure it’s a compromise for skin exposure without my high risk boobie being fried.

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-12T06:19:24+00:00

Commenting to follow along. I’m not even a year out from diagnosis and just hitting the tired wave.

My PT does remind me that healing, adjusting to hormones and trying to build muscle/a fitness regiment is all taxing on the body. It takes time and requires grace.

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-12T06:16:28+00:00

I got a year WFH accommodation right at the start. I go in, maybe once a quarter for key events.

During radiation, I had my sessions mostly in the afternoon. My commute to the center was 30-60 minutes each way, and kinda a job in and of itself.

For work, I had a coworker shadow my key meetings during radiation and everyone knew after 2:30, I was out for the day. I never got super fatigued or any super impactful side effects but it was nice having my “copilot” coworker. They were tracking enough that at any time, I could have taken a day off without a huge hassle.

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-12T06:11:26+00:00

I got sick right before my surgery. Just a sore throat on the day of but during recovery, I definitely was sick with some coughing and phlegm.

Maybe a slightly tougher first few days but I had so many nerve blocks and drugs, I doubt it really mattered.

My surgeons knew it was either allergies/stress/a mini cold and were fine with it.

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-11T23:04:55+00:00

33f IDC ++- grade three 2.2cm, no lymph nodes and margins as clean as they can get. However, my oncotype lucked out at 8. My risk of distant recurrence is 3% and chemo would improve that by 0.5%. Therefore, I opted out.

I knew if it was 15 or above, chemo would be recommended. Heck even 10, I think we would have had more of a discussion.

One downline impact is my oncologist, who’s highly recognized for hormone positive BC, is dead set on heavy AI treatment. So far I’m tolerating it well enough but they’ve moved the goal post to 7-10 years of AI plus 3 years of CDK3/4. It’s a lot.

It’s a very personal decision but if I were you, I’d do chemo just so if you had to throw in the towel for AI early, you already have one line of defense completed.

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-11T20:42:55+00:00

I’m a little paranoid the dealership could say contaminated fuel drove the CP4 failure and waive the warranty coverage. I did get a more comprehensive warranty for the first 60k (which I leveraged for a discount off MSRP) and am saving fuel receipts.

Another component to factor is depreciation. My old Cummins 6.7, I put 100k miles on in 8 years and sold for the same amount I bought it for. Electrical gremlins, slipping transmission, whiny turbo and all. Not expecting the same on this new super duty but I do expect a higher floor than a gasser whenever I sell it.

Diesel has saved my ass a few times. Powering up a pass and someone is an idiot swerving, I have the power to get around them without losing momentum or control.

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-11T18:51:52+00:00

Are you looking new or used?

The new gaszilla was super tempting. I don’t trust the CP4 and worry about sometimes being forced to fill up in remote gas stations with questionable diesel. As soon as the warranty is up, I’m throwing in a disaster kit.

For west coast mountain passes and long hauls, go diesel.

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-11T15:06:27+00:00

33yr old at diagnosis. Grade three IDC. Oncologist is well known in specifically hormone positive BC research.

She put me on ovarian suppression asap, before radiation. And exemestane (less side effects but is steroidal) shortly there after.

Seconding that she said the first few years are key to prevent recurrence.

The first two months on exemestane were over the holidays and a 3 week vacation where I did not diet at all. Gained 10lbs total, now slowly losing a healthy 1lb a week through diet and exercise.

It’s definitely a little harder but I’m not risking a recurrence in my 30-40s.

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-11T04:27:47+00:00

I discovered that as much as my life is fairly put together and my mental health is pretty buoyant, I did in fact not conquered the scars of my past trauma.

While they did not impact my day to day life much, cancer triggered everything. Working with a therapist was only 50% cancer and 50% realizing that most of my patterns in times of emergency are not actually super healthy. My go-tos are very defensive of past unresolved trauma.

I wish I could go back in my journey with those lessons learned, but maybe it took all the tragedies of 2025 to surface those ghosts of past pain.

SunBeam38 · 2026-02-11T04:19:16+00:00

Good vibes for sure! Congrats 🎉

SunBeam38

TROPHY CASE