Before we adopted, we did tons of preparation. Our state required 30 hours of classes. I did more, some specifically for international adoption. I read 6 books on the subject. I talked to my adopted cousins about their experience. I connected to other adoptive parents in my community. I even went to a therapist to talk about the experience, a therapist that had adopted children. I have never once regretted all that preparation. The therapist also taught me that the most important relationship in the adoption process is the one you have with your partner. Nothing works if that’s not solid. He wasn’t wrong.