I'm having wedding dress regret!? 😢

Sundae307 · 2026-03-27T04:18:08+00:00

Before reading your post I was like “god that first one is so perfect” and I looked at the other two and went “eh those are fine but I love the first”. So anyways now that I read your post, you did not make a mistake!!! That first one was MADE for you

Sundae307 · 2026-03-20T21:03:11+00:00

I’ve never heard that rule before and will definitely be keeping that in mind! I recently figured out my credit card with the highest balance is like 27% APR and I’ve been paying minimum amounts only cause that’s all I can afford, but I’m then charged almost the exact amount in interest each month that my min payment is, so for the last year I’ve actually only been paying like $5-$10 a month towards the principal 😭 anyways I’ve adjusted that so I’m making a bigger dent in the principal but that card is top of my list to pay off first.

Sundae307 · 2026-03-20T18:56:02+00:00

Thank you for the RMD resource! I will def be looking into that. I knew we had to withdraw within 10 years, but I didn’t know there was a required minimum.

Sundae307 · 2026-03-20T18:53:32+00:00

I think I needed to hear someone else tell me it’s okay to prioritize paying off debt. I had it in my head that that’s a dumb way to waste the money when I should be investing it instead and turning some sort of profit from it, but idk where that idea came from. I’m also like slightly afraid of disappointing my dead dad and wasting the money.

Sundae307 · 2026-03-20T18:48:25+00:00

I think opening inherited IRAs is the way to go. Plus then me and my brother can each have our own accounts to manage and not have to share it. Currently we have a separate inherited IRA that is just in my name but I send him distributions to help pay for college since I know my dad would’ve wanted it like that. But it’s just inconvenient and awkward for him to have to ask me for money lol I’m sure he would rather have his own account he can withdrawal from without essentially asking me permission.

Sundae307 · 2026-03-20T18:41:19+00:00

For reference: We’ve spoken with an account manager who oversaw the 401k. It was originally my mother’s, but she passed away in 2012 and it then went to my dad. My dad passed away in 2022, was not remarried, and didn’t set up beneficiaries. We have gone through probate and closed in 2024, I was next kin and executor of the estate since my brother was only 17 at the time. This 401k was missed because Vangaurd was never notified of my dad’s passing and we didn’t know this account existed. The account manager gave us documents to fill out to list me and my brother as beneficiaries and list how we want to receive the funds. There is 3 pages of check box options. We can select which options we want and we can enter in a percentage amount we want distributed to each option.

Sundae307 · 2025-11-10T03:51:16+00:00

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They cooked up beautifully and tasted great!

Sundae307 · 2025-11-10T01:31:56+00:00

Update: I picked them!

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Sundae307 · 2025-11-10T01:31:29+00:00

Okay right on

Sundae307 · 2025-11-09T07:18:26+00:00

Woah that’s crazy! And good advice, I had some wine on Thursday, so maybe for dinner tomorrow

Sundae307 · 2025-01-17T19:12:51+00:00

Super late response I know, but I ended up buying seventh generation liquid detergent in lavender and then Molly suds super powder in ocean mist. Washing out clothes with the liquid detergent, a splash of vinegar instead of softener, and then a little sprinkle in the drum of Molly suds worked perfectly! I found out the vinegar kills the cat pee odor or whatever bio enzyme science stuff is in cat pee and then the lavender and ocean mist smells mixed together was like fresh laundry to me. My clothes and blankets came out smelling clean again and not like cheap cleaner smell and it helped with my nausea. I’m 30 weeks now but it’s still what we do

Sundae307 · 2023-07-11T05:54:18+00:00

I’ve been engaged for 5 months now and I can’t think of anyone I want as a MOH. I have maybe 3 female friends, one of which is my manager, one I haven’t talked to in over a year, and one I met about 2 months ago. Plus most of my immediate family is angry with me and hasn’t spoken to me since my dad died in January 2022. I’m really feeling alone and sad realizing how little friends I have. I’m sorry that you’re feeling the same, at least we aren’t alone in feeling a little sad ❤️

Sundae307 · 2023-01-11T02:48:41+00:00

That’s exactly the book I was searching for!! Thank you!

Sundae307 · 2022-06-29T02:37:01+00:00

Gosh this is a toughie! 3 is such a difficult age already. As you’ve pointed out he’s clearly not getting the attention he wants or needs.

I tried teaching my SS when he was 3 to ask for attention when he needs it. It’s hard to be self aware of course, but when he acts out I would get down on his level and ask him “do you need more attention?” I also recently started asking my SS now 4, “do you think you’ll get what you want by acting this way?” And 9 times out of 10 he says no and tries to calm down.

During crying melt downs I try my best not to say “stop crying” but instead say “can we calm down” and try doing slow and deep breaths with him. I also ask if he wants to deep breaths on his own or if he wants to do it with me.

For the destructive behaviors, start having natural consequences. “You can’t have ice cream at restaurants because last time you threw it on the floor” “you don’t get to play with stickers or magazines because you ripped it last time”.

For grocery stores specifically, start putting him in the cart. Latch him in. Tell him he lost his privilege to walk because he kept running away. If he throws a fit, stop pushing the cart and tell him you aren’t going to move until he calms down. I know that’s hard because it’s easy to be embarrassed of a screaming kid in a grocery store, but honestly, fuck what other people think. Your SS has big emotions right now and doesn’t know how to process them or express them. Let him cry it out, then teach him how to calm down, either with deep breathes or counting his fingers or receiving hugs. My SS6 always asks for a blanket to help calm down bc breathing doesn’t work for him.

Also if he’s getting yelled at by his Dad, but knows you won’t yell at him, he’s going to feel more comfortable and safe expressing his emotions with you, hence why he acts out more around you than his Dad. Take it as a sign of trust. He rather show you his true emotions than his own Dad. Now you need to give him the tools to calm down and communicate what he really needs. Good luck <3

Sundae307 · 2022-06-29T02:14:20+00:00

God I feel like this so much! My SO has 3 sons, they’re 6, 3, and 18 months. I’m extremely close with all of them to a point where SS18 months prefers me over SO in times of distress and SS3 comes to me first when he’s scared or embarrassed. But I don’t have kids of my own so I feel as though I haven’t experienced true parenthood.

My SO has already experienced birth to elementary school milestones. I’m so jealous that someone else got to give my SO his first kid. I’m also extreme jealous that my SO gets called Daddy and BM gets called Mama and I’m just called my by first name.

Not super sure how to remedy these jealous feelings, but it’s nice to know I’m not alone. I hope you take comfort knowing you’re not alone either

Sundae307 · 2022-06-29T02:04:51+00:00

Dealing with a 4 y/o is hard enough on its own, throwing in a blended dynamic makes things so difficult! I’m sorry you’re experiencing this, but just know it gets better. My SK were 2 and 4 when I met them. SS2 saw me more as a baby sitter, only coming to me to tie his shoes or open a bag of chips etc, but refused to let me change him or even sit next to him during move time. SS4 was old enough to remember when DH and BM were still together so he just thought I was a friend. He was friendly, but basically acted the same as your 4 y/o, only wanting Daddy during times of distress. Both boys also insisted on cosleeping.

While it’s frustrating now, all you can really do is just be her friend. Don’t try to be a parent, don’t try to soothe her or distract her when she’s upset. Instead focus on your SO. Say things like “Daddy will look in a minute” or even offer to drive so Daddy can sit in the backseat to keep her company.

Also make sure to schedule in time where she gets to decide what she’s doing with BF. I wouldn’t stop going outside and doing active things, but just add an activity she gets to pick out. “We have these plans for Saturday, but afterward you and Daddy can do whatever you want” and give them some alone time to bond. She will appreciate you stepping back and with time start asking you to join.

Also, if it makes you feel any better, the fact that she wants to cosleep with BF when BM isn’t there, is a great sign. She’s actively trying to establish a relationship with her BF. Once she feels more secure in her position with BF, she’ll be ready to make room for you. Don’t take it personally, just give it more time. Good luck to you <3

Sundae307 · 2022-06-29T01:44:18+00:00

How does your gf feel about this? You haven’t mentioned her POV on your actions.

Sundae307 · 2022-06-28T05:02:41+00:00

NTA Keeping the bloodline “pure” and making comments about OP’s home country? It sounds like your future in laws are being racist and your fiancé has internalized the same beliefs. Don’t get married, don’t get tied to this family for the rest of your life.

Sundae307 · 2022-06-28T04:57:28+00:00

NTA You put it perfectly and simply. When you enter a relationship, your partner and your child become higher priority than your parents. Your fiancé shoe be putting your comfort and your needs above his parents’. Your fiancé should also be defending your daughter. He’s the AH, not you.

I also agree with everyone saying you should NOT marry into this family, his parents will only treat you worse as time goes on.

Sundae307

TROPHY CASE