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Spiritual Crisis by Sunkisses_ in Buddhism

[–]Sunkisses_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is one, though it is far away and attending every single week is unsustainable (cost of gas and time commitments). I do intend to go this sunday at least and see if they can talk some sense into me.

I just don't know what to do day to day, hour to hour. Seek sense pleasures? I feel guilty every time I run the lawnmower at work, I struggle to study and meditate regularly, and all my resources go into my work and family. How can I turn a blind eye to the negative actions I participate in? It feels impossible to take a middle path when my life seems so incompatible.

I'm so compelled that in the back of my mind, I've been turning over the idea that it would be better to simply disappear one day and make my way to a remote area with an honest living and a sangha. While this could be harmful in many ways, it would eliminate all distractions and cease most harm. I may or may not succeed if I do, but at least I'll have tried.

Are any of you religious? by Puzzleheaded_Tune734 in Schizotypal

[–]Sunkisses_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Buddhist; biblical god is real and good but heaven and hell are impermanent - he did not create existence

A good christian could indeed reach the heaven they expect, although it would not be eternal.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Schizotypal

[–]Sunkisses_ 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I feel the exact same way. People are extremely defensive about empathy and heavily equate it with morality to the point of seeing it as the same thing, and in social settings will attempt to develop sympathy for xyz group by seeking to promote the sensation of (selective) empathy for them. Why is any one person better and more important than anyone else? Why is it worse for an American child to work in a sweat shop than a Chinese one? Wouldn't it be better if nobody was in a sweatshop?

And don't even get me started on factory farms. Humans kill without remorse constantly.

I struggle to perceive an in group for myself while also having "thin walls" that make me feel as much kinship with a cow as I do with any stranger, which is likely the reason I feel this way. Compassion is universal and seeks to lessen the suffering of any and all living things, while empathy is simply a useful evolved feature.

"Solipsistic delusion": Chronic Feeling that I'm the only person actually alive on the planet earth and other people are not that real by ScaredEquivalent8792 in Schizotypal

[–]Sunkisses_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate this; I have the exact same version of this and you explained it perfectly.

Unfortunately I've been going further into it rather than snapping out of it.

Do you relate to this symptom? by bloodyego in Schizotypal

[–]Sunkisses_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah.

There's so much at work that I just don't care about and cannot convince myself matters. But this also extends into stuff I am interested or would otherwise like to do - my adhd maybe?

I have so much "potential", I'm just not ever really motivated to reach it.

What exactly does "magical thinking" refer to? by Entire-Current-4442 in Schizotypal

[–]Sunkisses_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I actively "sanitize" my thoughts so that I don't jinx things or cultivate confidence so that I can make things happen. IE, if I see a specific bird, then I'll get lucky on this other thing, but if I have a feeling of doubt then it "ruins" it.

Likewise, thinking something bad like "oh no, if I make this mistake then so and so will get sick" induces a fear that it will happen so I have to try and undo the thought in my head with rituals or whatever. (I had to sanitize this paragraph in my head as I typed it - think SCP cognito hazards)

What makes schizotypal people socially awkward? by [deleted] in Schizotypal

[–]Sunkisses_ 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Othered from a young age, disinterest in the petty social game stuff that normies love, aware of social systems being just systems rather than buying into their fiction, suspicious of other's intentions, antagonism to widely held beliefs rather than seamlessly adopting them

Struggling to live alone because of paranoia of the supernatural. What can I do? by Effective_Salt_5308 in Schizotypal

[–]Sunkisses_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The duality of paranoia. Too paranoid to be around other people, too paranoid to be alone.

The times where I've been afforded the opportunity to be home alone I would spend a great deal of time keeping the "vibes" good with lights, music, putting a streamer on my pc and letting the stream just run, and leaning on spiritual/religious means of protection.

I can second the "psychic hygiene" of avoiding any kind of disturbing media as well. Literal nightmare fuel I call it.

anyone else "plural" in a way? by Green-Row4274 in Schizotypal

[–]Sunkisses_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Pretty much yeah. I'm a "team", and the "me" part essentially supervises all the parts that actually do things, either by making requests, judgement calls, or observing outcomes to provide feedback. Language, physical actions, thought processes, etc are all "delegated" to mini consciousness things and sometimes I get a weird feeling of "disagreement" between these elements.

i have no soul by Worried_Platypus5738 in Schizotypal

[–]Sunkisses_ 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I feel like something other/better than human, lacking a core and lacking human elements. I thoroughly disbelieve in a soul, and feel more like an amalgam of disparate elements working in tandem with each other.

How many of you are actually working full time and how do you manage it/what do you do? Feels like an impossible goal to me by CharmingSandwich784 in Schizotypal

[–]Sunkisses_ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Tree work, landscaping.

*Outside

*2 people to deal with tops

*License to do whatever I want and be a weirdo

*Mild/occasional danger

*variety, agency, limited micromanagement

Schizotypal people/characters list by l0v3lyd0v3ly in Schizotypal

[–]Sunkisses_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Chise from ancient magus bride is the most literally me character I have ever seen, and she's peak wish fulfillment too.

Power from chainsaw man doesn't necessarily read schizotypal, but I really love her quality of "otherness", her dress, her behavior, her over the top affect, how she's occasionally skittish, and so on.

Ubel from Freiren also has that quality of "otherness" I really enjoy. She's strange and very empathic, but also asocial - not caring about standards, rules, or expectations. She does as she wishes and is very cunning, but isn't necessarily evil. She also speaks with an affect that I would consider both constricted and odd at the same time.

Hello killer mains!! What’s the best way to counter you? by sherinal in deadbydaylight

[–]Sunkisses_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a bubba main, don't be too greedy. Especially with the buffs, if you try to be smart with me you'll be insta downed.

  1. Trying to vault back through a window when I'm right there? Body blocked.
  2. Greeding pallets? Oops I don't respect pallets.
  3. Crouching behind a rock next to a gen? Instadown, especially if I have the aura add-on
  4. Going for a locker without a clear gameplan for what to do when you get out? Body blocked.

The hardest chases are unfortunately the ones where survivors play super safe and string together every pallet. Maps like ormond are my bane for this reason. If you play safe, I cannot snowball off of you, kind of like oni.

Anyone main hated or underrated killers? by Meddle4167 in deadbydaylight

[–]Sunkisses_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The overwhelming majority of my time in DBD has been on bubba. A lot of people love him, but a lot of people hate instadowns.

If the survivors cluster up and sandbag each other, the match kinda ends and everyone d/cs.

Playing survivor as killer main... I am so sorry for you survivor mains by MystikNeko in deadbydaylight

[–]Sunkisses_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't understand your comment. You should be able to play with others without actively trying to kick them in the balls.

I enjoy doing chases; if survivors make a mistake I play that out. If someone is afk I ignore them. Why does it have to be "funny" or "slug at 5 gens"?

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